The ARMC
Two anxiety ridden Moms and professionals taking on life and work. We've come together to talk about it all and formed The Anxiety Ridden Moms Club or ARMC for short. Welcome to our show, we look forward at what's to come. Thank you for joining us every week for a new episode.
The ARMC
Surviving Preteens & Teens: Eye Rolls, Attitude, and All the Food
The wild ride of parenting preteens and teenagers turns once-sweet children into eye-rolling strangers overnight, creating anxiety for even the most prepared parents. We share hilarious and heartfelt stories from our own experiences raising teens and preteens while navigating the challenges that come with this developmental stage.
• Dealing with the overnight personality changes from affectionate kids to independent teens
• Managing the mysterious disappearance of groceries and the bottomless pit of teenage appetites
• Creating open communication that survives eye rolls and attitude
• Balancing safety concerns with allowing appropriate independence
• Navigating difficult conversations about alcohol, parties, and peer pressure
• Establishing your home as a place teens want to be while maintaining parental authority
• Finding your village of other parents going through similar challenges
• Teaching essential life skills that prepare teens for eventual independence
• Giving yourself grace through the parenting mistakes we all make
Message us with your own teen parenting stories—we want to hear what's driving you crazy or what's working well in your household! Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok @TheARMC or email TheARMC2025@gmail.com.
Welcome to the Anxiety-Ridden Moms Club, the podcast where two moms, each with her own unique style, come together to navigate the wild ride of motherhood, careers and anxiety.
Speaker 2:I'm Kylie and I'm Gina. There was a time when Kylie and I were direct competitors in corporate America and had different perspectives on growing our careers while managing life and all the things that come with it, but those differences have only made our friendship and our insights richer. I like to call it.
Speaker 1:Trauma bonded Gina. What started out as a difference of opinions evolved into a genuine connection.
Speaker 2:Our journey from varied viewpoints to a supportive friendship has taught us that every approach has its own strength. Now, as co-hosts and best friends, we blend generations of wisdom with fresh, modern ideas to explore the challenges, joys and, yes, even the anxieties of being career moms.
Speaker 1:So, whether you're a seasoned pro or just stepping into the wild world of parenting, a new career or new relationships? Join us as we share stories, offer advice and sometimes even overthink it all together.
Speaker 2:Grab your favorite cup of tea or coffee and settle in. Welcome to the Anxiety-Ridden Moms Club.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to the Anxiety-Ridden Moms Club, the place for moms who are out here just trying to survive motherhood with a sense of humor and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of sanity.
Speaker 2:And today we are diving into the world of preteens and teenagers, otherwise known as the years of eye rolls, mysterious smells and those moments where you ask yourself is this my sweet baby or a full-blown adult with an attitude oh Lord, here we go.
Speaker 1:If you've got one foot in the still my little kid world and the other in oh my God, they're going to drive a car soon. This one is for you, ok. First of all, let's just admit it Preteens and teens are a different species. One day they want to cuddle, the next day they won't even look at you, at them, in the parking lot, school parking lot.
Speaker 2:Yes, my kid went from. Mommy. Will you sit with me to? Can you not exist in this room right now, in about three seconds flat?
Speaker 1:And then you're sitting there like do I ground them, hug them, hire a therapist, Maybe all three?
Speaker 2:Real talk, though. Our anxiety as moms kicks into high gear in these years because the stakes feel higher, right, Friends phones, school pressure, social media hits a lot.
Speaker 1:Yes, and they're feeling it too, even if they don't show it. They're processing so much. Sometimes the sass is really them, just saying I don't know what to do with these feelings.
Speaker 2:And, as moms, we're in the background whispering to ourselves please, let me be enough. Please, let me not mess this up.
Speaker 1:I know I just want to grow humans that are not assholes and they're kind and respectful and they work hard and they have integrity, and I am just so scared that I'm going to, I'm going to screw it up. So, anyway, let's, let's lighten this up, because we've got some hilarious stories from the trenches, from the trenches. I'll go first. My preteen, which you all are very familiar with, my Nora, my Nora girl, informed me the other day that I am cringe, and it was in regards to. You know, gina and I neither are fabulous with social media and our social media presence, and so the number one way, obviously, to grow your podcast and your listeners is through social media and platforms, and I have no idea what I'm doing, and Nora can create content way better than I can. And, yeah, she said I was cringed. It kind of hurt my feelings, kind of hurt my feelings.
Speaker 2:So that's OK. My teenager Kylie. She told me that I really don't know what I'm doing and it doesn't even sound like anything like me, because I'm just screaming at her all the time, which is so not true. If you were at my house and, believe me, I verified this with some of her friends Do you think I scream or anything? They're like you, don't hardly say anything. I've never heard you raise your voice, but you know, sometimes they just maybe need to hear the voice. That's the truth on this side of the microphone.
Speaker 1:For sure. Yeah, I'm a screamer, it's how I express myself, I guess.
Speaker 2:Oh, I can get to be yelling, but I try not to go there.
Speaker 1:It takes a lot to get me there and then I just, yeah, when I go, I go. So I am working on that. But that would be more, I think, and probably our listeners would think I would be more the yeller and the screamer than than you, for sure. But you know, Kylie. Kylie says she knows.
Speaker 2:So who knows she's not telling the truth.
Speaker 1:And can we talk about the food intake? Like, why do they eat like bears? You buy groceries on Monday and by Wednesday it looks like you're you've got an empty pantry, I promise you. On Monday. And by Wednesday it looks like you're you've got an empty pantry, I promise you. If we were to go upstairs right now, it looks like I have never bought a grocery in my freaking life. I don't understand it. And my boyfriend, who we refer to also as the sound guy, he's a freaking gorilla too. Like okay, for example, a few days ago I bought literally a few days ago, I bought a 24 pack of Diet Coke. I am a Diet Coke girl through and through. Love me some Diet Coke and Coke Gone Gone. I'm like how many, how many sodas? Like I'm going to have to start buying, like putting this shit behind a padlock because these people I bought like a 12-pack of Nutty.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those Nutter Butters.
Speaker 1:The Nutter Butters, but like the long ones that are the wafers covered in chocolate and peanut butter in between. Oh yeah, yeah, not like the Nutty Buddy cookies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think they're like Nutter Butters or something like that.
Speaker 2:They're Nutter Butters.
Speaker 1:But I bought like the big pack at Walmart and last night I was like I really want to, I really want to nutter about her Not fucking one to be found in this house. I'm like who ate 12? Wasn't me Then? Who was it Then? Who was it? Like I can't even the amount of food, and you had lots of boys.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, oh well. So here's the thing when you have boys, they do eat. It's just going out of style. It's just nonstop food, intake, snacks and they invite their friends. They eat more snacks. We always had to hide food all the time.
Speaker 1:Like legitimately.
Speaker 2:Legitimately, like if we knew we wanted something. Like if I bought Nutter Butters and I knew that they're going to eat that shit, if I bring it in and they even see it, then either I would take a few out if that's all I was going to want, or I would take the whole damn box and put it somewhere else. And my husband used to get mad and tell me why are you hiding the food? This is our house, we're in charge. We say what's happening? I'm like, yeah, that's not how this works. It just I mean you can't. I mean I guess you could, you know, padlock their pantry. Maybe there's people that do that, but you're not going to typically. So they're gonna see stuff that looks good, just like we think, and they just don't understand. Especially boys don't understand the respect of hey, this is the last one Before I take it. Does anybody want it? So my husband always drank Mountain Dew, for instance. He nothing can make him more insane than if you took the last one and didn't at least ask him. He didn't care if he drank all these different ones throughout the time, but once you got to that last can of soda you probably should say hey, dad, do you mind Is it okay and he wouldn't be mad. But unfortunately that's not what was going on in our house. There was always an argument about the soda, or one of the ones that's our fondest of memories in our house is that he had a bag of chips, and it really was not even a like. He's a Dorito guy. I don't even know why these chips are so serious, but it was these barbecue-lazed chips and he could not find them. So he went on this rampage and he was yelling at the kids that where is my bag of chips? And he was accusing them like you would swear we were in court. And then he'd tell one of them did you eat the chips? No, did you eat the chips? No, did you eat the chips? No, well, if you're saying that you didn't eat the chips, then you're telling me that he did eat the chips. I mean, it was the most insane conversation.
Speaker 2:These kids were either all the different personalities, so you have one, of course, getting angry. You've got another one just shaking his head, frustrated, and the next one's going to be in tears. And he's my Austin's, just the more sensitive, so he's going to get into tears. And the other two you've got Tommy shaking his head and dad like come on, like it's just him, and you have Casey just getting mad. And by the time it was all said and done and I finally was like this is enough, like it's just a bag of chips, like seriously, I will buy you a bag today. He, at the end of the day, they found these baggage when and he had owe them all an apology it was just in the pantry somewhere, like shoved towards the back or something. It just didn't really look. But it is serious and I think you know, especially husbands, you know it's no different than raising those teenage boys and they want to eat all of your food and they don't want anything taken from them. It was serious.
Speaker 1:Hey, I get it, I have. Yeah, I can relate to that. I have one that can't even bring the packages out of his room after he eats it.
Speaker 2:I'm like that's ridiculous oh yeah Well, literally, and don't even get me started on the mystery smells from their bedrooms. Especially the boys. I've opened my teen's closet and immediately regretted all my life's choices, and this is so true. Boys are just gross. They just smell like feet. I mean they just smell. I would say, why does it smell like ass and feet in your room? I know, but the way I look at my water bill, you're definitely taking showers, and for probably way too long, but you still smell like you still stink.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this room is nasty so let's, let's get practical um and and share some, some tips and tricks, or a few things that have kept us somewhat sane. Okay, pick your battles. Let the socks with sandals slide. Oh God, drives me freaking bad.
Speaker 2:I can't stand that.
Speaker 1:But save your energy for the big stuff, don't sweat the small stuff True.
Speaker 2:Create open communication, even if they roll their eyes, keep asking how are you, what's going?
Speaker 1:on. Is it true what they say, that if you get hit in the back of the head when you're rolling your eyes, they'll stay that?
Speaker 2:way. I've tried it on my kids and it didn't work. It didn't work.
Speaker 1:You know, I am a very good eye roller.
Speaker 2:I can't stand eye rolling, oh I can't. I think that's the biggest thing that will get me fired up is if somebody rolls their eyes at me is just, I don't know. That's the.
Speaker 1:Nora's not that graceful at it Like she legit. It takes her whole face and it takes intention to like roll her eyes. And she more or less does it kind of like, comically, like when I'll say we'll be, you know, bantering back and forth, and she'll be like oh, and roll her eyes. But it takes effort, which is funny, because she's just not. She doesn't have the eye rolling down, you know, quite yet at 10. But she, she'll go, trust me, she'll get there. She'll get there for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Well, and luckily my, my kids aren't so much eye rollers, it's more my husband. He likes to roll them eyes and I've just always let the kids know I don't don't roll your eyes at me and all the things you can do. Don't roll your eyes at me.
Speaker 1:So open communication, though you, I feel like all of your children, they, they do communicate to you. So give us, give us some moms out here with kids, a little on the younger side, Like, how did you you know we've talked about your house being the house that they want to be at, and how do you make that happen? How do you be the house they want to be at? How do you increase the communication to where they're telling you about the fentanyl patches being distributed at school?
Speaker 1:And I think for me, that's one thing that I do need to keep my outbursts under check and I think it comes from anxiety. It's from a place where you know if we're sitting, you know I know that we've got several episodes to record and we're on a time crunch and all of those things, and the kids want this and the kids want that, and or work is hectic that day and it's all kind of coming at me at once. I feel like that's when my anxiety rears its ugly head and I just freaking like snap and blackout and scream, and I have to get better at that. I have to get that in check because I never, ever, ever want my kids to be fearful of telling me something because of my reaction and I know I have to get that in check. But let's talk about that a little bit Like any tips and tricks for me to get them to want to communicate with me.
Speaker 2:So I would say, in my opinion, and I'm not some professional- she's not a lysis therapist, even though we pretend.
Speaker 2:I think that most parents forget what it was like to be a kid, and so you have some parents who have the theory of well, I got in all sorts of trouble, so I'm going to beat them to the punch. I'm going to like I know what they're up to before they do it. You hear that a lot. You know where people listen and say, so you know I'm stopping my kids from doing Well, I mean seriously, sometimes, like some of this, even stupid stuff we did as kids. It's just being a kid and I don't. I don't see why it's always so serious or so big of a deal. I feel like I try to understand my kids, and I do before I, even though sometimes, believe me, I look at them and think I don't want them to do anything. I don't wanna do anything wrong. I don't want them to drink in high school. I don't want them to start smoking pot. I don't want them to do all those things At the same time, though, I had plenty of friends that I grew up with that did all the above, and I was around plenty of different things, and I did my share of what you shouldn't do.
Speaker 2:So I get it at the same time. So my biggest thing I always ever told my kids was my job as your mom. The biggest number one job I have is just to keep you safe. So if you're talking to me, I at least know I can help you to keep you safe and I can help you so your decisions don't become astronomical and a big problem. So it that would always make it to where I could talk then about the drugs and the scary stories you know. Are you here? Even these kids with fentanyl one time and they're gone Dead. It's just like it's so serious.
Speaker 2:And now I think, because even on Netflix there's so many good shows, even that like have shown some of these stories that really show you what happened, and a lot of it is kind of just normal stuff you're doing as a kid and next thing, you know, something tragic happens. So we would just talk about all that kind of stuff. But I think, because I always let them know when they would tell me, hey, I want to do these things, I didn't immediately say, well, you can't, that's not going to happen. I mean even TPing. Now, when I was a kid, you know, you went out and you TPed. Nobody really got in trouble. You know what I mean. You really did. Nobody had the like, you didn't have police really coming, you just didn't get in trouble. We'd have gangs of us going out there and then you'd take the tampons and stick them in red dye, you know.
Speaker 1:I mean I stick pads all over a guy's truck one time Made me mad. He was pissed too. He was so pissed.
Speaker 2:But I mean, I think like Casey came home one time and he was like everybody's going to go out and TP. You know, it's kind of that time during your senior year or whatever and I told him I said I'm not going to tell you that you can't do it, but I am going to tell you that it truly is. People are calling police on kids and there has been a lot of things that people have damaged for property. I feel like when we were younger we didn't like ruin people's property.
Speaker 1:I TP'd one time on Halloween and I felt we felt so bad we went and picked it up. That's the thing. So there was that.
Speaker 2:I think that I just don't think that everybody was really out to destroy anybody's stuff. The school has sent out many emails in regards to that anyways, and over the last prior years, really, yes, so it's a problem, it's a problem. And so I told him. I said here's the deal. I said I get it, you want to go TPing, it's not a problem, but you have to remember that police are called now and you will be in trouble. Like there is no such thing as it's a. You know, you can just do whatever you want. That's and we really weren't supposed to do it either back then. But I mean, seriously, nobody got in trouble and so it was. It just really was throwing toilet paper all over and making a mess, and it was just more we were a pain in the ass.
Speaker 2:So he's like okay. And I said but as long as you just use your head, you will know when you're at a point of like this is risky. You know what I mean. Maybe we shouldn't do this, and we talked about the obviously, and if you're with kids that are doing something destructive, like hello, like don't do that. So it literally he left my house and probably was back in maybe 20 minutes like what are you doing back here for? And he goes yeah, there was a huge group of kids. And he says and all I thought was they're going to call the police, and he said so I decided to come back home. Literally probably 20 minutes later he said police have been called and they had all those, that big group of kids. So I think that you know, and my whole thing with this is just fair is the fact that it's, I know, probably lots of people would say well, you should tell your kid he shouldn't TP. You know we don't like our house being TP. Well, I don't like it being TP either.
Speaker 2:But come on, you freaking TP or did something with your kid and you had a lot of fun doing it and you had a lot of memories doing it and it's. It is OK, I think, within reason, and you have to teach your kids what that is on everything.
Speaker 1:And when there is revenge TP, you will be the one swinging from the trees picking it up, because there will be revenge TP. Yes, but everything you know, like I said, I TP'd one time and felt bad and picked it up, and I think it's just because we did it to like these old people, because we I don't freaking know, I don't remember our reasoning back then. But egging like that's a big thing too, and that I mean it. It ruins paint on cars and it ruins everything, is just escalated and I don't want to be like that, to be like, well, back in the day.
Speaker 2:But that's true, it's so bad. Well, actually my daughter had a friend over one night and they got a. They got a call from these girls and these girls were going to come by our house and they were going to egg the stuff in our house. And they're like, oh my God, that can't happen. They were going to do anything they could to protect my house, so they ran outside. I didn't know how to hear anus to the morning. They ran outside to see these girls out there. They ended up that the girls threw eggs at them and so they had eggs on their shirt and all this mess.
Speaker 2:And until the next morning they're telling me about it. I'm like, why didn't you just come and tell us? We could have just walked outside? I mean, just our presence would have made them not do it anyways. And they're like, no, we just we didn't want to wake you. We don't want to get you guys mad that you had to be woke up. We were just going to protect this house with everything in us. And it was funny. Glad they did, because I'm thinking, okay, like eggs do, like you said, destroy paint. I mean, unless your parents want to pay for a new paint job on any of my vehicles or something to do with my house. You might want to put the eggs carton back into your refrigerator.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, and we were paying $12 for 12 eggs, Right? So, yeah, I know I get it. I get that they're. You know I always think of you know I am a Reba McEntire fan. Shout out to the queen, and you know I can't always focus, so also shout out to the next season of the Voice, which is going to be the queen. Reba is back and also Snoop Dogg, and that is my favorite they're. My favorite combination is Reba and Snoop, so everybody needs to tune in for that.
Speaker 1:And this is not a paid advertisement, but anyway, she has a song and it talks about, you know, being drunk. I think it's like being drunk at, because you want to be supportive, you want to make sure that they call you and don't ever, you know, obviously, drink and drive, Don't get in the car with somebody drinking and driving. So you want to make sure that that you're the call that they make. But also you can't condone underage drinking. So it's such a balancing act and I look up to you, for you know the openness that you you have with your kids. You know, do they? Did they come to you and say everybody's going to this party and they're going to get drunk in a cornfield, and what did you say?
Speaker 2:Well, so one time even um Casey was probably my best communicator. It's just kind of funny, cause he was the, you know, when I was painting my rear end to. You know, love you to pieces, but still, he, he, he would always cause a lot of trouble, but he was so good about communicating with me and he's the one who came home and said OK, so there was a parents that allowed drinking at their home and pretty much had kids at their house every weekend. I'm not a fan of that because I do feel like I'm not above the law. So that's why I've never been one to be like, well, it's fine. I mean, yeah, I don't want you to drink, but as long as I'm monitoring you in my house, I just to me that's just a personal thing for me. Some people feel it's better because you totally monitor the situation. So that's what that family had chosen. You're going to drink anyway.
Speaker 1:So why don't drive or leave, Bullshit. I still, I just I. That's not me either, because it's it. This is never going to be good enough. This is going to get boring at some point, and when that some point happens, whether you have my keys or not, I remember sneaking out of my house and freaking, stealing the cordless phone. So we could just pull out to the edge of the and be like, hey, I made it home, right, I made out to the edge of the and be like, hey, I made it home, right, I made it home to kylie's house like we got. There was a party that got raided and I was on a road trip. Like lucky me and parents, I wasn't arrested because I was with someone drinking and driving.
Speaker 1:Somebody had to return my house phone to me at school on monday because we had had it and they called home. So like we're all. It just doesn't work. I guess what I'm saying is like yeah, you can have a party here, but they're going to get, they're going to get bored partying here at some point or whatever you know. Like no, we're not above the law and and they will break every, every rule. So like they need to know what's wrong, but we know it's available.
Speaker 2:Shame on the people for minors Like I really truly that's my problem, like that's why I've always told my kids I, I not above the law, I just that that is where rules come into play and that is called life and you always have them and I just don't, I, I don't understand that theory, even though I know, honestly, there's more people that have that theory that they believe it's the way to be. Um, but I think it encourages a lot of other bad behaviors. Like you said, it takes away I guess you know, I don't know, but some you get bored, like you said, anything you do, eventually you're like, okay, this is boring, let's do something else. But I think in some ways you also encourage that they're at home and they can control. They start figuring out, they know how to manage their drinking. And they can't. They're kids, you can't't. I mean we're all dumb when we're that age and we and you can't, and I just so I'm completely against it. But it was the greatest experience for Casey because I told him at the end of the day, alcohol poisoning we talked about before he left, and so you have to be careful about drinking. You know, I didn't want everybody to say, you know, chug, chug, chug and next thing you know he's, you know sitting there throwing up, and you know sitting there throwing up and you know aspirating. So I'm like you have to realize that this is all real stuff and to be careful and whatever. We had a good talk about it and so he went and we're like and if you take even a sip, you're not allowed to get back in your car and drive anywhere anyways. So you're there for the night.
Speaker 2:Casey came home the next morning and he said it was the worst, worst thing he'd ever done. And I'm like what do you mean? It was the worst thing you ever did. Didn't you have a good time at all? And he's like no, I go. Well, did you get sick or something Like did you?
Speaker 2:He's like so we were playing like beer pong, but they were pouring it into like shots and he's like that stuff tastes horrible. He said that was the most disgusting thing. So he said he had like maybe two or three shots of beer Mind you, this isn't a hard liquor or something and he was like I didn't want to keep drinking it. So he just stopped and he's like so the rest of the night he was stuck there because while he watched everybody be drunk and act like idiots and it was the most miserable time ever. And so he was like I don't ever want to do that again, like that was not fun. So I kind of laughed because then I think it held him off again for a period of time longer before he was interested in like hanging out and drinking with people. And the next party he went to they did the same thing they played beer pong, but they did it with like Mountain Dew or something. He said that was the greatest thing he'd ever done.
Speaker 1:That's funny. I was a hellish teen and you know as Catholic school girls got to stick together. But the night, you know, when we made it to high school, it was like whoa, what is this? And I don't know. At some point in my childhood I worked at Dairy Queen and someone was hard up for cash and so I paid her like I don't know. At some point in my childhood I worked at Dairy Queen and someone was hard up for cash and so I paid her, like I don't know, 40 bucks for a fake ID. Yeah, that came in handy.
Speaker 1:But then I had people like literally kids younger than me and craziness reaching out to be like, hey, we buy us booze, will you buy us booze? And one time I'll never forget we were in the drive through at a liquor store because we have drive-thru liquor stores here and somebody was like you don't think they realize that the license plate says whatever? It was. Like her name, 89. Like birth year, Hello, but no, we never. My fake IZ worked well, very well.
Speaker 1:But there was a New Year's Eve that we were all partying and I had bought some of the alcohol not all of it, but some of it and the cops got called and everybody scattered and we were behind a car of boys that I had bought some of the alcohol for and they flipped their car and I did not sleep that night. I would, and I never again, never again did not buy it for anyone other than myself or anyone with me, but, but never again. I would, never, ever, ever. And I was fortunate that they were not hurt. Nothing serious, you know, happened other, you know, I actually think they like ran from the cops and whatever, weren't even arrested. But I learned my lesson kind of the hard way, that like if something would have happened and that's what I told everybody that would ask me after that I'm like, no, no, I did it for these couple of people and if something would have happened to them, that would have been on me and I would have never forgiven myself. That would have haunted me for the rest of my life. Um, so a lot of my lessons learned were were the hard way, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:And now I don't. I don't drink now. I mean, if we're on a boat and you know the, the weather's right and we're, we're like I'm not, I'm not sober necessarily, but like I don't have alcohol in this house. I don't pick up a glass of wine Like I feel like I got that all out my teenage years so I know it's not a thing for me. Now I just alcohol's not and I've seen alcohol and what it does and it can destroy lives and families and you know marriages and I it's. It's not a thing for me, but I am petrified. I'm petrified of the teenage years and what these kids will get into.
Speaker 2:And that's the thing is.
Speaker 2:I think it's about keeping your kids connected to you in the fun ways you know, that they can joke with you, have fun with you, give you a hard time.
Speaker 2:I mean, my daughter, especially out of all of the kids, gives my husband a very hard time and makes fun of him every day and he takes it very well from her, but there's always that banter and that funness. You know what I mean. I think it's important when, especially when the boys were young, we did family nights, so we always made sure we had Friday nights. They could go spend the night or do anything they wanted with their friends, but Saturday nights, like even during the day, they could do what they wanted, but Saturday night they had to be home and then we watched whatever movie they wanted or we made whatever favorite food they wanted or, you know, got ice cream. We just kind of made an evening of it where we would enjoy the evening, spending time together, laughing, joking, teasing each other, that kind of stuff, and it also made our kids very close, you know and kids are kids, we all.
Speaker 2:They've had their arguments and you know whatever. But at the same time I can say like it's pretty cool, like even my boys this day tell each other they love each other all the time. You know they're talking to or they're doing something they're leaving. You know they'll make sure to tell each other that they love each other. So I think those things even just helps you just have a they feel connected and that they feel that they have a sense of like they don't want to upset their parents or make their parents mad. I think that's a good thing. I think it does somewhat turn down how completely you know crazy you get.
Speaker 2:Like when I was raised, when I was younger, we had like always had house parties and I don't feel like the house parties last very long around here anymore. Like they're busted like within I swear they start and it's over. You know what I mean? Where, for us, the cops were real cool, so like if they busted it, nobody ever really got in trouble. They would just say you guys, come on, let's go home. And if they could confiscate your stuff, because you know they probably drank it later themselves and that's what they would do. And we were at this one house party and I was so drunk and we there was, they were like woods, their houses backed up to woods. And so I was like, oh my God, the cops are here. So all a bunch of us run outside to the woods and then all of a sudden the cops are saying, if I find you in the woods there, then we are going to arrest you. So we we're like shit, we got to get back in the house I ended up cutting my foot.
Speaker 2:These people have barbed wire by some of their stuff, like by some of their trees. Oh my God, I gashed my foot so bad on the way in. My foot is bleeding all over the place and I'm like I don't know what to do. And if they come in here I don't want to get in trouble. Like I was a good kid I did stuff he shouldn't do. But I mean I didn't want to make anybody upset.
Speaker 2:And so all of a sudden this boy that I don't even know comes up to me and he says so there's a car outside and they say they're looking for you. I'm like, okay, eyes are glazed over. And he took my hand. We walked right by the cops. He got me in my friend's car and we took off and we left. I was like okay, but the cops really just were there to bust the party up. It wasn't to do anything to anybody, that's kind of how it always was. But I mean we snuck out of houses all the time. We were out till all hours in the middle of the night wandering the street, all the stuff you shouldn't be doing. But we didn't cause trouble or do anything like where I feel like now I swear.
Speaker 1:If there's kids on my street out in the middle of the night they're trying to destroy somebody's property, or like bust in windows, like what just happened in the good old days, just dress in black, nobody sees you Like just wander around and go see your friends so you guys can sit and talk and you know whatever, and then you go back out and sneak in a window so recently my parents had bought a, or bought some property we call it the farm and, uh, the people they bought it through happened to have a son that was my age and so you know my dad was so very excited about, about this property and they're, I think, pretty sure was a building bidding war and it was this and they um, between you know my family and a developer, and they went with you know my family because they wanted it. Yeah, been here, done that. Remember that time in high school when I burnt the back of my leg off, like the whole back of my leg? Yeah, it was here. It was here at this very farm. Um, they were.
Speaker 1:We were having a bonfire and they, for whatever reason, decided to light the whole fucking tree on fire and someone was like standing on the end that wasn't on, like wasn't lit and like rocking it back and forth, and one of the limbs that was burning literally landed on the back of my calf and gave me the worst degree burns you could even possibly imagine. And thank god, someone was smart enough to take the bottle of vodka we were drinking and pour it on my leg because it probably saved me from, you know, flesh eating diseases or whatever the case may be. And I went home and got in bed Right After somebody poured and I showed my mom the next morning and she's like, what Like it was it was so it was so bad. But how interesting that my parents then later bought the property. I'm like, yeah, very familiar with almost dying here once or twice. But yeah, we I mean we were just hanging out in cornfields and right.
Speaker 2:And then that's the thing you have to remember. Those days and even though you can say, okay, well, that turned wrong, well, then you just have to educate your kids and about those things can happen. You know, my daughter was like I want to go to Florida with my friends and they were just gonna with a group of girls and and a couple of the boys and stuff too, but they were all gonna go and I'm like, okay, but I've watched these shows and these kids are like drowning in the ocean because they're not using their you know any sense about where they're at, or they're going with people that they don't know, that they meet there. I'm like, seriously, there's like all these things that can go wrong, you know, and so we just talk about it is you know? I think it's the same thing.
Speaker 2:I mean my kids go out in the fields. I mean I just hope they tell me that they're going to those fields so I can at least tell them, okay, well, just so you know, these are the things that can happen to you and you need to be aware and you need to make sure you can get ahold of me and I can find you. Anyway I can. But the other thing is too, I think, is when you're when you're raising teenagers, you know we have all these different things that can obviously bad influences things. Bad influences things that they want to do because it's fun. You know I'm scared. It's like. You know I'm scared of teenagers.
Speaker 1:I don't want to.
Speaker 2:But it's like even you know and I mentioned it even on the last episode it's just like to you know, you and your kids are having health issues and stuff like that, too, that you got to worry about. I mean, there's just so many things and your kids have to be talking to you about everything, many things, and your kids have to be talking to you about everything, and especially with the fact of what's going on nowadays, I just think that it's more, much, much more important and more important for them to feel that they can tell you what's going on and you're not going to yell at them. So you cannot just start screaming at your kids and the answer is no, and you can't do that, okay, fair.
Speaker 1:See, I'm gonna be such a better parent because of the anxiety ridden moms, right? Okay, so we've talked about it and and how we're gonna, how I'm gonna calm, calm down, um, picking my battles yep, not sweating the small stuff. Open communication we've spent a lot of time on that and that's. I think that that is the key. I think it's the key to a lot of this is just so they're not scared to communicate, that they keep communicating, that you're you know again balancing act, because you want to be the one that they communicate with, but you don't. You want to be the, the house that they hang out at, but you also don't. You're not here to be their friend, you're here to be their parent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a line that is drawn. That's the thing is. I I've watched this TikTok and this lady had her. Her son was like playing a video game on his phone and then he's like tapping her with his hand, like ha ha ha, you know joking with her, kind of hitting her arm and she hits him back kind of, and then he hits her. I know, you just did not do that.
Speaker 2:And she grabbed a frying pan like and starts chasing him out the house, and that, to me, is reality. That's exactly like the truth of what it should be. You know not that you're hitting your kids with frying pans, although I did tell my boys all the time when they were younger if you will get bigger than me, but I'm not afraid, and so don't ever cross me, because you do have to sleep and I do own a frying pan, there you go.
Speaker 2:I mean like I'd be sleeping with one eye open if you do something really cross to me and I might heat that pan up before I shoot with it. But I do think that was a perfect, honestly, it's a perfect relationship that you should have. I just think that kids have to know I am mom at the end of the day, and so there is that line, just like when your kids move out, I get the line drawn for me. So there is that line, just like when your kids move out, I get the line drawn for me. So when you move out of my house and you're paying your bills, I don't just get to go to your house and do anything I want. I don't just get to intervene in your relationship, however I want.
Speaker 1:Same concept. We got to save that for a future episode, right. For sure, okay. And then I think the third thing is pretty important too.
Speaker 2:Find your village. Other moms going through it are a lifeline. You need people. You can text at 10 pm like why is my kid crying over a meme?
Speaker 1:And teach them life skills now Laundry, cooking, basic money management because one day they're gonna be out the door. I can't even gosh, but yes, you and I just talked about this offline yesterday, I believe is laundry, cooking, just teaching them how to be adults, because one day they're out the door and I don't want them Googling how to boil water, how to do laundry, which you can find. We talked about this with AI too, and probably again in future episodes we can kind of dive into what, what growing up with with all of this AI thinking things for you. But lastly, I think it's important to give yourself grace. None of us have a manual for this. We're all just figuring it out one eye roll at a time.
Speaker 2:God, don't roll your eyes. Whatever you do, don't roll your eyes. All right, it is your turn. Tell us what you guys love or what's driving you bananas about this teen, preteen stage of life. Message us, comment. We want to hear it, we do.
Speaker 1:We need some feedback. We want to hear your stories for sure. So we're not out here feeling crazy Because it's making us feel kind of alone.
Speaker 2:I feel like we're the only ones with these stories. Where's yours? I want to hear everybody else's.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. We're not the ones just being crazy. You guys just get to sit out there and listen to our fucked up lives. All right, friends. That's a wrap on today's episode. If you're raising a preteen or a teen, know this you are not alone. You are not a bad mom and you're doing better than you think.
Speaker 2:And if your kid slams their door later, just remember one day you're going to miss the sound of them being home.
Speaker 1:You guys make sure to follow us on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok at TheARMC, or email us at TheARMC2025 at gmailcom and subscribe to the Anxiety-Ridden Moms Club wherever you listen to your podcasts. Until next time, deep breaths, mama. You got this. If no one's told you lately, let me be the one to mama to hear this. You can also connect with us on Facebook or TikTok at TheARMC. We'd love to hear your story.
Speaker 2:Until next time, give yourself grace, breathe deep and remember peace is possible.