The ARMC
Two anxiety ridden Moms and professionals taking on life and work. We've come together to talk about it all and formed The Anxiety Ridden Moms Club or ARMC for short. Welcome to our show, we look forward at what's to come. Thank you for joining us every week for a new episode.
The ARMC
From Panic to Peace: A Mom’s Story of a Near-Fatal Heart Attack, Hospital Delirium, and Unshakeable Faith
We tell the full story of my husband’s massive heart attack, the codes, the impella, and the long days of delirium, doubt, and stubborn hope. We push back on bad assumptions, hold tight to faith, and find help in family, humor, and clear boundaries.
• first heart attack missed, late diagnosis
• stents placed, sudden collapse at home, CPR
• transfer to higher care, multiple codes, impella
• cooling protocols, ICU alarms, hard conversations
• advocating against rushed trach, poor scans
• sedation weaning, delirium, memory gaps
• swallow tests, NG tube conflict, meds via ice cream
• apnea nights, safety plans, step-down care
• insurance fight, life vest, discharge home
• near-death vision, meaning, ongoing therapy
• practical advocacy tips and boundaries
• community, faith, and small wins
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Welcome back to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, season two, baby. We're still anxious, still thriving, ish, and this season we're diving deep into one of the most complicated, beautiful, and straight-up messy parts of motherhood. Relationships.
SPEAKER_02:The ones that lift us up, the ones that drain us, and the ones that change when motherhood hits like a wrecking ball.
SPEAKER_01:From ride or die friendships to awkward play date moms, from supportive partners to the ones who just don't get it, we're unpacking it all. Because motherhood doesn't just reshape your body, it reshapes your people.
SPEAKER_02:And sometimes you have grow folks.
SPEAKER_01:Sometimes you build a village you never had. We're talking about boundaries, support systems, love languages, mom guilt, and learning to unapologetically put yourself first.
SPEAKER_02:If your group chat is your therapy, if your toddler is your toxic coworker, or if your idea of date night is hiding in the pantry with snacks, this season is for you.
SPEAKER_01:Let's talk about it, let's laugh, cry, confess, and build this messy, anxious, loving village together. Welcome to season two of the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club. Welcome back to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club. Last week we talked about faith, the kind that carries you through life's hardest moments, and we briefly touched on a story that left so many of you wanting to hear more.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Last week I shared just a glimpse of what happened the day my husband had a massive heart attack, the day everything changed.
SPEAKER_01:And this week she's opening up and sharing the whole story. The fear, the heartbreak, the miracles, the kind of faith that only comes from facing the unthinkable.
SPEAKER_02:This one's emotional, but it's also a reminder that sometimes when everything feels like it's falling apart, something bigger might just be at work.
SPEAKER_01:So grab your coffee, your tissues, and your village, because this episode is one of those that reminds us how fragile and beautiful life really is.
SPEAKER_02:Before we dive in, a quick note. These are my words and emotions shared to connect, not to be reproduced or adapted without permission. Every story here belongs to the anxiety-ridden moms club community and is shared with love and honesty. So I'm gonna start by kind of stating where some of this stuff all be even the beginning beginning. And most of the story I put all kind of we'll go through the timelines of a lot of different things. If I had a lot of time, we'd be here for hours. So I'm making sure that I give you guys stuff that's super relevant, but definitely shows a picture of what it is that that my husband, me, and my family went through. So first, when my husband had his original first heart attack, so mind you, he was out playing hockey on a Saturday. He used to always play hockey with his friends. And um, he all the time goes through and would pick up Chick-fil-A breakfast for my daughter. And so he calls me and says, Hey, I'm headed to Chick-fil-A. I'm gonna go pick up some uh breakfast for Kylie. I'm feeling like a really weird feeling in my chest, like this tightness in my chest. I think I've got like gas built up in my chest. And he's like, So I'll go through there and I'll be home. Oh, no big deal. It's kind of typical. I mean, uh, you're not supposed to have gas in your chest, but I mean, like, he didn't make it concerning. So he gets home and walks in and he looks a little, you know, flustered, but not not too out of the ordinary. His brother, Jimmy, then calls me and tells me, I think Tom had a heart attack. And I'm like, what? Because I mean, he's standing in my kitchen, right? And he's telling me, Yeah, I got gas in my chest and pressure, but you know, it's fine. And so um he ended up running around showing me how well he was doing. He got the chick fil A though, too, right? He got the Chick-fil-A. Oh, yeah. He got everything like a normal Saturday. And then he's uh he's just doing like, I mean, it was ridiculous. He's doing showing me exercises, like he's totally fine. So I'm like, okay, I don't even know what to think. So as the days go on, you know, I'm like, maybe we, you know, are you sure? I'm like Googling stuff. Are you getting pains on your arms? You know, and he starts getting mad at me. I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me. So for the entire weekend, we kind of just sat down, sat around where he didn't feel the best, but would never tell me he thought he had a heart attack or anything like that. And on so Saturday night I go to bed. And Sunday morning I wake up and he's outside cleaning the pool. His shirt is drenched in sweat, and he still insists it's just gas in his chest, but he cannot sleep. And um, he just doesn't know what to think. So we start talking as the day goes on. Maybe we should go to the hospital. He decides not to. So Monday morning he agreed though that on Monday he would immediately call his doctor and go see his doctor. So his physician actually is was a um, he's kind of a retired, semi-retired cardiologist as well. So he went there on Monday morning, got an EKG, and he was told you had a really bad heart attack, dude. Like a really bad one. And he's like, So we're go ahead and go home and we're gonna get you in to have them do a calf on you and see how you're doing, what we can do to fix it. So I'm thinking, okay, well, we'll be sent that day. Well, no, this is Monday, and they're like, Wednesday, we'll get you in. And I'm thinking, isn't this kind of weird? But okay. So he was told he had a really bad heart attack, but go home. But go home. And he said the damage is already done, so it's kind of like I get, I don't know, it's interesting things that happen, right? So we go into the hospital on Wednesday. He has a calf and they come out and say that his LAD is 100% included. So they had to decide are they gonna do open heart surgery or are they gonna go back and try to open it up with stents? And they ended up deciding with his age because he was 49, he was in good shape. They decided they're gonna go for stents. Let's let's try that, see if it's gonna work. So the doctor had doesn't practice in that hospital on Thursdays. We had to wait till Friday before they're gonna go back in and open it back up. So they do. Um, he was able to place three stints at that time, everything went really well, very happy, obviously. We go home the next day, and he's told, lay low, don't do much, relax, take it easy, you know, take like a week off of work, and then the following Monday, go ahead and go to go to work. So we go home. My mom even tells me, tell him, don't do anything. There's so many people I know that they've had a heart attack, and then within 30 days, they're having another heart attack. He needs to not do anything. Well, he doesn't really listen. So he he, of course, at one point is like, I'm gonna go downstairs and work out. And I'm like, okay, like you can walk on the treadmill for like 20 minutes, but that's about it. About an hour later, you know, I talked to him again and he's just finishing up a full workout. So he just doesn't listen. So men tell you. So I'd asked him, I said, Well, the weekend's coming up. I said, you know, you just had this happen to you. Do you want to have friends over? Maybe we could have a weekend with everybody over. And he's like, nope, I just want a weekend of just you and me. So weather was perfect. We're in the pool all weekend. Every you couldn't ask for a better weekend. On Sunday, he's like, I gotta tell you, I just feel so good. You know, I'm like a really, really feel good. So he starts swimming underneath the water, back and forth underneath the pool. And I start yelling at him to stop doing that. That was not making me happy.
SPEAKER_01:So you just had a heart attack, too. You're not, you don't need to be an Olympic swimmer right now. Freaking dumb.
SPEAKER_02:So he goes ahead, he he, you know, stops finally. And then we get out of the pool, and I wasn't really feeling the best that day. So by seven o'clock, I'm like, I just really want to go lay in bed. I don't, I don't just don't feel very well. Like, watch TV or something. So we went in there watching TV, hanging out. By about nine o'clock, I was like, I'm just shot. I want to go to sleep. So he had the TV going and he turned it down for me, and he was like, All right, you know, no big deal. 11 o'clock at night, I wake up to a growling noise. And I reach over and I to touch his arm, and I can tell he feels almost like stiff, like feeling, like just frozen kind of feeling. And I jump out of the bed and I'm like, oh my God, I just knew. I'm like, he's having another heart attack. I run across around the other side of the bed, and he's pushing with his arms like up, like he's pushing himself upward. Um, and his eyes are bloodshot and he's staring at me. And I told him, I said, I will call 911. And as I grab the phone to call 911, he flops forward in, you know, into the pillow. So I throw him on his back, and then 911 gets on the call. I tell him that, you know, he's having a heart attack. They're like, You have to get him off the bed right now. Well, my husband is somebody who's always worked out. There's a definite size difference between me and this. So the first thing I'm thinking is, I have no freaking idea. I'm getting this man off this bed. So I first they're like, is anybody home with you? Well, I had, I was not sure if Austin was home or not. So I'm like, Well, I gotta unlock the door anyway. So I run to the front door, I unlock the door, his car's not there, so I know he's not home. So the only people I have home with me is my daughter, who at the time is eight, and one of her friends. And I don't want them waking up. So I go back in the room. It's 11, and by this point, it I literally got her, I watched the clock. I don't know why, but I watch the clock. So at 11 o'clock, this starts, right? It is I go up to his body, I'm pull looking at how I'm gonna figure out how I'm gonna get him off the bed. I decide the only chance I have is I grab his feet. And I've got a phone in in my shoulder and in my ear. Okay. And I grab his feet. This is when you just know adrenaline is like amazing.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So is he breathing or not breathing, not breathing at this point?
SPEAKER_02:At this point, he's just still kind of making some weird noises, but it's getting pretty, it's pretty quiet. So, and so I go ahead, I go to his feet and I pull once. And I got the guy on the phone, you know, like, you know, you just gotta get him on that floor, gotta get him on, just I don't care how you do it, you know. He's getting on me, and I so I grab his feet again, I pull again, and then and he shifts a little each time I do it. And on the third time, I'm like, motherfucker, you know. And all of a sudden, he slides so nicely off the bed. It was like you couldn't ask for it to be better. And so he slides off on the bed and he's on the floor and he's making these noise again, deep breath in, and this kind of weird, and then all of a sudden he'd go blue, and then he would like blow out, and then he would, you know, and I just kept doing CPR and the guy's talking me through it. 1112, the police are in my driveway. So as soon as they come in, I'm like whispering for them to, you know, here come over here to take over because I've now got to worry about my daughters upstairs. So I go out, they come in, um, they end up that by the EMTs, by the time that they get in, they have at this point are um had to do use a defibrillator on them and they had to do it seven times to get them back. And then they had to vent him as well. So I don't want my daughter to see any of this stuff. So I'm calling the neighbor who she lives a couple, she click lived a couple blocks up. It's the mom of the friend that was over. I call her and I'm like, all that came out of my mouth. I'm sure she was like, What is going on? I'm like, you gotta come to my house and get her and get the kids out of my house right now. She's like, uh, what? I go, you gotta come to my house, you gotta get the kids out of my house right now. And she's like, okay. I'm like, click, you know. So she comes in the front doors. I mean, we have sirens and you got you got lights, everything. There they actually didn't have any sirens going because they were super quiet. I have to honestly, it was really amazing how quiet everybody was when they come in your home. But there was lights all over the street. So she comes in, she grabs the girls, she leaves, and it's Austin then shows up at home. So he starts helping make phone calls for me, calling his brothers, calling everybody. And um, once they get everything going, they get him um out into the ambulance. They tell me, you know, grab his wallet, get your clothes, whatever you gotta get, and follow us, you know, over to the hospital. So Austin and I go ahead and we get everything, we head over to the hospital. When we get there, um, an EMT reach comes up to me, sits down, and asks, tells me that he coded again in the ambulance and they did get him back, but she wanted to know, you know, give me a little history. So I told her, I said we had two stents placed directly um in his LAD and another one that was kind of an adjoining spot. I go, I'm like, I don't know the name of where that was. And so she's like, that's perfect. That'll help us when they go into, you know, to take care of him. So um they go on, they sit me in a waiting room. Family goes ahead and starts, you know, coming in to meet up with us and stuff, and we wait. And several people kept coming in and asking me the story each time, like exactly what happened. Tell me each time. And so I tell the story over and over. And then the doctor finally comes in and says, Okay, he ended up going into respiratory failure, and he was um, we took about like three jars full of fluid off of his lungs. And he says, But we've got him stable and we have him, you know, he's doing okay. We're gonna get him to another room. We're gonna get you guys up to a different waiting room, and then we'll just kind of go from there. So we head up to that other room, and um, I'm just waiting. So this is like an, you know, I don't know, one o'clock in the morning, two o'clock in the morning, or something when we get up to that area and have to wait till like five. So 5 a.m., this nurse comes out and she's like, looks over at me and she goes, You look like you're the person I'm supposed to be bringing back. And I and I'm like, Yes. So you walk into this room. So she's was great. She was one of the greatest nurses, and she was so compassionate, and she is telling me a little bit about like what to expect when I get in there because they're trying to cool them down, all this stuff. So we go down there to uh the hall. I walk in. I was not expecting him to be laying on a cold, like um, you know, metal table naked. It's so it gives me Sounds like the morgue. It's what makes you feel like, and so it was very, I know I had to stop for a moment when I first walked in there because I'm thinking, uh, like what's going on? Right. You know what I mean? But uh she explained everything to me, and I'm like, okay, just so you know, if somebody else is gonna come in here, you can't have my husband like naked like that. Like if he did wake up, he will die. So she actually was so sweet. She put a very thin sheet over him, and then she said, We're just gonna cool him down, and then we're gonna get him to another room, and then you can go in there. So we went ahead, waited for a little longer, got into the room that he was in, and I was sitting there with his sister and uh Tom laying there, and it was just quiet. And all of a sudden, that is when I felt the presence that I talked about, you know, in our last episode, was it was like somebody is sitting directly next to me. And it was very uh evident that there was uh something with me. You know what I mean? You're like this and then you have to wonder, am I crazy? Is this because I'm in stress mode? You know what I mean? But then I'm like, oh, there's something like 6 a.m. Yeah, this is this point, it's probably well, it's probably around maybe eight o'clock in the morning by this point. And I'm just like sitting there and it's very, very, very strong because it's putting like feels like somebody's sitting where they're leaning kind of on you, you know what I mean? And I for a little bit I didn't say anything to Kim, and then all of a sudden I get the point I'm like, okay, this is too weird. I have to tell her. I'm like, I don't mean to be a weirdo, but like seriously, there's somebody sitting with me.
SPEAKER_01:There's someone right here.
SPEAKER_02:And she was like, oh no, I believe that. So that feeling was where you felt like I think, I don't know, like you felt like this isn't good, but you don't, but at the same time, you kind of felt like somebody's with you for a reason. Like there's a reason somebody's here. The part that I couldn't always understand was, is that positive things, or is that like because in case I'm gonna collapse because something bad's coming, you know what I mean? But as time went on, the more I felt like this calm from it. So I felt like, okay, this is a good thing. So the pulmonary doctor came in at one point in time, um, later morning, and yeah, he didn't make me very happy as much, just because he walks in, takes a look at him, looks at me, and just shrugs his shoulders, like, hmm, like that doesn't look good. That's all he did. And he left. And I'm like, okay. So then later into the day, so probably around maybe 1:32 o'clock, um, a cardiovascular doc came in and he told me, he said, listen, he said, he's in bad shape as far as his ejection fraction goes. It's only a 15. And he's like, ultimately, um we don't have the tools to help him here. So the only chance he would have is if we transfer him over to a larger hospital. So if you are wanting to, we can go ahead and send him there and we can, you know, try to see what they can do for him. And uh, I said, Well, of course, we're gonna make the trip and see how it goes. So they hired they ended up getting some people to be able to transport him, got all that in order, and they packed him in like ice because they were because they guess they can't put the cooling machines on this van that they put them in or whatever. And so um they want to make sure they kept him cool. And by this point, we've had different uh friends, family members that have been up to the small hospital. So the one of his friends knew that he's like, Is your car here? I said, Yeah. He goes, Well, why don't I drive you in your car? And then that way I know you're gonna get there safe driving. He said, Would you rather that we did that? And I was like, Yeah, that's fine. You know, that would probably be a good idea. So he drives me to the hospital. We head over there. Um, and by this point, you know, they get him in the room in the ICU, and it's just kind of like not eventful at this point. He's still commodos, anyway. So um the hospital tells me that I am not allowed to sleep in the room that he's in, that I either need to go home or I can sleep into a waiting room. Well, I'm sleeping in a waiting room. I'm not leaving.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_02:So I went ahead and got a chair. His sister got another chair recliner, and we went ahead and got comfy, as comfy as you can get, and decided, well, this is where we're at for the night, so we'll see what happens. And um the next morning we get up, we go in the room, we were sitting around with him, and 11 o'clock in the morning, all of a sudden these bells start going off. Well, he's now had a heart attack. Because he's comatose, I have I don't, you don't realize it till you realize it when everybody starts flooding in your room. So they get me out of the room. By the time I'm at the end of the hall, my legs are shaking so bad that they have a wheelchair for me and everything. And I'm just like, I think I think it was just an overlide load by that point. I get in the room with everybody. Jimmy's grabbed me by this point, so I'm sitting on his lap and he's just kind of holding me. And then um the bells stop, and after just a few moments, a resident comes in and says, We got him back. I'm like, Okay, good. She walks out of the room and I swear a minute goes by and the bells go again. And so I'm like, here we go again. And um, so then I sat there and waited, and then they came back in and said, Okay, you know, we got him back, and we'll bring you back to go ahead and see him here in a little bit. So he's coded four times at this point. Four times at this point. Yeah. So um I go in, we go back in, I'm sitting with him for a while, and his nurse tells me that I kind of want to see where your head is, Gina. She said, because they're talking about upsetting him for a procedure, but they don't believe that he will make it through the procedure. And they also you also have to know if he codes in the elevator or hallway on the way to the procedure, they will not be able to save him. And so she's like, So I really need to know where you're what you're thinking that you really would want to do. And I told her, I said, Okay, so ultimately I'm not giving up on him. He'll give up on me before I give up on him. And one thing that helped me with that was my dad always would tell me, When you are born into this world, you're alone. And when you die, you're alone. So I kind of looked at it like, what does it matter where he's at? Like, I don't think you are you're first off, he's comatose, anyways. You're either here on earth and you know people around you or you don't, but you're going to heaven if you pass away, anyways. So, like to me, does it really matter if you're in the elevator and hallway? You know what I mean? So I just looked at it as I'm taking a chance on him. So at that point, they decide, okay, they have bring a chaplain in, and they say the whole family needs to come in because their chances of him making it are slim to none. So I don't even know who makes phone calls to who. I some of these stuff, like I can tell you, you just all you know is what they're talking to you about. And I really halftime probably don't even remember telling other people what was told to me a lot of times, but I'm sure I did because then all of a sudden, you know, the room fills up with family and friends um after a while, so everybody could kind of basically say their, you know, I guess somewhat of a goodbye if need be. And um, my daughter walks in, she's eight years old, her dad's laying on this table, and now I have to come up with real quick what I'm telling her. And I thought, well, I don't want to tell her he's I don't know what he's I don't know what's gonna happen, right? Right. So I just told her, I said, I want you to take a really, really good look at your dad's face, and I want you to remember it and remember it that that man loves you more than any man will love you in your entire life. And he may not ever get to come home, but we don't know for sure. So we just have to see what happens. But I want you just to really make sure you remember him. And so she was, you know, just kind of looking, then that, you know, just staring at him. I have no idea what went through her head, but it's the only thing I could think to say. So by that point, our brothers were in there and they kind of went and sat with her and stuff. And I went up by Tom, and I don't know why, but I just this is the things that you just always say. You don't know why you do what you do, and that's why everybody should also be um, I don't know, like, you know, people judge people sometimes like, well, do they look emotional enough? Do they look this enough? You know, maybe they care, maybe they don't. And everybody does things differently. And I can say I went up to him and I kept rubbing on his chest and humming. I have no idea why. But like a hum, like a mmm, not a hum like a tune. And I'm like, I have no idea why I did that. But it was just like, I don't know, it was just I couldn't, I don't know why I did that. You know, those are the things you kind of look back and you're like, I don't know why I did that. I've never known you to hum. No. And so um, his brother was standing next to me one point and he put his arm around me and I told him, I said, How do you remember what somebody feels like? That's my whole promise. How will I, if he if he passes, how will I remember? I want to remember everything. How do you etch it in your brain? And when I was hugging him, I I told him, I said, you feel like him. So I said, just so you know, if something happens, I will be coming to your house once in a while. I'm probably cuddling with you. And uh then I went back to like, you know, my whatever, you know, I had my hands on him and stuff. And then I remember talking to people a couple of times, you know, just letting everybody know how much my husband loved them. And then the chaplain said like a prayer. And then everybody I remember kind of like stepping out in the hallway because it was getting close time that we're gonna take him out. So when we did, I just had asked him, like, I just at least want to be able to kiss him, and I couldn't get to him with all the equipment. So they moved everything for me so I could at least give him a quick kiss before he left. At the moment I walked out of that room, I felt like completely fine. Like everything was fine. Almost like you could be, I don't know, in a good mood. It was just weird. I went from, oh my God, what's gonna happen to, oh, this is like a good day, you know? It was just, you just, there was somebody always with me. You know what I mean? So uh we go down to the next room and there's a ton of people. He had plenty of family and friends, of course, that was there. And we sat and I just sat quietly, kind of just waiting. Um, and then I got a call up to the desk, and this nurse is on the phone and she's like, Hey, I just want to call you and tell you that he made it. And she's all happy, you know. And I'm like, Okay. And I just sat there. I'm like, I think I'm just numb. You know what I mean? But I kind of expected her to tell me that at this point. So it wasn't it through the procedure and he made it. He made it through the procedure procedure. Wow. So after a little bit, the doctor comes out, tells us that he had to place three more stints. All went really well. Um, and but we're gonna have to be placing him. Um, and then they wanted to have they placed him on an impella pump as well. So that was to um rest his heart, give it a break for a while, let this machine actually run his heart for him so he can maybe recoup. So, all good news, right? So we go ahead and we go up to the waiting room. And we're sitting in the waiting room for a while, and I'm just sitting with everybody, and then all of a sudden, this nurse comes in and she says, Okay, room, whatever, whatever the room was. And for, and she couldn't remember like the patient's name really well. But then we were like, Well, is that us? And then she was like, I think so. And we asked her a couple questions and she's like, Yeah, I think it's him. Well, then she starts walking me down the hallway and she's like, So he's sitting up and he's talking, and I'm like, What? And she goes, Yeah, he's sitting up and he's talking. She's like, he really wants to see you and stuff. And I'm like, Are you sure it's my husband? She's like, Yeah. We get halfway down and she points to the room. She goes, That room, right? I said, That's not his room. And she's like, Oh my God. I think she got in trouble and I kind of feel bad because I'm like, I mean, yes, she should have had more information before she probably came and asked the family to come back. But I I felt bad for her because like it, we didn't get to the room, and she never told me the patient's name or anything, you know what I mean? But I was like, okay. And when I got back, I'm like, she was telling me that he was talking. I kind of knew that it was not him at that point.
SPEAKER_00:For the love of God.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my gosh. So we go ahead and we head down. Oh, I head back. I wait for a little while longer. And then they come and they get me in and they bring me back and everything's fine. And and they just said, you know, he was um just gonna rest for a while and we'll kind of see where we where things take us. So this is now Wednesday, and they began to kind of remove some sedation off of him just to kind of see what he does. And I did tell them, you know, my husband has white coat syndrome really bad. And um, if he gets, if he gets nervous or upset, I'm telling you, he's gonna probably get a little out of hand. So you probably should restrain him. And they giggled like I'm stupid or something and said, We'll be just fine. I'm like, okay. Well, when they removed sedation, he started fighting bad. And so they had to immediately knock him back out and restrain him. And I'm like, Well, I kind of told you guys. And I said, I understand if you have to wait to see it, but I said, I wanted to prepare you before you got to, you know, before so that you knew what you were getting into. So after that, they had him restrained, but then they did continually try to take him off the sedation. And the interesting thing to me was I would watch that the first time that they did it, he like lifted his head and he would start straining and really bad and stuff, and then they'd knock him out. Then they'd try to do it again, and then he would like lift his head up and then he'd like try to put a leg outside the bed, then they'd knock him out, and then he'd lift his head up the next time one leg, the other leg started to follow. And so then they had to strap the one leg because it had the impella pump in it, they did they were worried it was gonna get pulled out, and so they strapped that down. But it was like, to me, in my mind, like he was like there was a process going on. I mean, I understand that things can happen and who knows, but it's kind of interesting to me that you went through all these steps, right? And it's a good sign. It's a good sign. I mean, I and he's still got the fight, right? And then I get the resident that comes to me and says, Can we talk? I think we need to have a talk. And I'm like, sure. So we go in the other room and she sits me down and she says, I'm sure you're being very pressured by the family, by your family and friends and everything that's here, you know, to like basically keep Tom going. Well, first off, nobody's pressured me on anything, so you've already annoyed me. We're off to a great start here. Then she continues to tell me that, you know, lots we want you to know, you know, the hospital here supports you and um whatever decision that you make for taking care of your husband. And I'm like, okay. And she says, I mean, he could live for 30 years, but we really believe that he's going to end up in a facility and he will make you and your daughter destitute. And we just don't think that his quality of life will be where he can, you know, ever go home and it will be very difficult for you guys. And she's like, um Why? Why did they believe this? Well, then she tells me because the CT scan that they had was the worst that they've ever seen. So this is, I think, the moment she probably didn't like me because I'm never am mean or disrespectful to anybody, but I'm direct on what I do say. And I have always sit and listen when I'm placed, I'm very quiet, and all I've been doing the entire time at this hospital is listening. And I had heard a nurse talking to another nurse about how that C portable CT scan that they were using was junk. So as soon as she told me that, I said, Well, I've heard your CT scan's the biggest piece of shit equipment you have in your hospital, so I really don't know what that would mean to me. There you go. And she just looked at me. Um, she's like, Well, you know, ultimately she said uh that neurology that had been in earlier, which mind you, when neurology had also been in earlier to see him, they told me that he they had pulled off sedation at one point in time. They had tried to wake him and he wouldn't wake. Well, my husband never even was taking like different like regular medication, over-the-counter medications or nothing. Now all of a sudden you got him so comatosed, and it's like because he's never been in a hospital, never been knocked out, you know. I'm like, Don't you think you guys should wait longer to take that off before you try to wake him? You know, and they were like, No, no, no, no. Well, he didn't move or do anything. So then they brought it, had brought in another group at one point, and he they start by this point they'd had medicine off him longer. And I he started to lift his arm even at one point. And the girl's like, Oh my gosh, he's lifting his arm. And I said, Well, you just poke the bear because he's gonna start fighting. And he did, and they ran out. So when you're telling me that neurology is like my expert, I mean, they had just told me at one point he, you know, oh boy, he's not doing nothing. The next time to, oh my god, he's Fighting everybody, like they it's a guessing game, right? So she's like, Neurology really feels that he's you know, also it's it's not good. And I said, Well, neurology doesn't really know, truly, right? And she's like, What? And she's like, I said, Well, they don't really know, they're kind of guessing at this. She said, Well, many, many people have find great comfort in these neurologists. And I said, Well, then they're being, I mean, but they don't know. So I don't know how you have comfort in something that's a guessing game. They're just guessing, right? So she's like, Okay. And she goes, Well, my husband and I, we've had many talks and we've seen many patients, and we even know, I mean, a lot of times it is just best to let each other go. And so I said, Well, that man down that hallway is my best friend. Are you gonna pay for him? She goes, No. Then I don't think it's your problem. And she's like, That's true. She goes, Well, do you mind if we do an MRI? I said, That's fine. I don't care if you I said, but I do not want neurology anywhere near me or my husband again. And I don't need more guessing games. We'll figure it out from an MRI. They can read that and whatever, that's fine. But I don't need them coming in and poking and prodding in my oh, we can take it from here kind of thing, you know. So I go back. I really don't remember telling family members about what was but we went through all that. So at this point, we get to Friday. They're gonna remove the impella pump, which is great because we've been watching the monitor, things have been going really well. Um, and then they wanted to place an NG tube um for him so that he could start to, you know, get some nutrition and continue to try to remove that sedation, which of course he still continued to kind of fight back and forth. Um, it just kind of we kind of did, I feel like a decent amount of going through that. And then when you hit the weekends, anyways, like they really don't do much on the weekends of the hospital, so it's pretty uneventful. And then you get to Monday, where a the that same resident came in to tell me that she thinks that I should trake him instead of since he's been on the vent for so long. So I said, Well, um, how long can you be on event? She said, 14 days. How long has he been on a vent? She says, nine days. I said, Sounds to me like we got time. So he's not getting traked. So literally 20 minutes, 30 minutes at least later.
SPEAKER_01:Which being from the medical industry, being on a trake is not the end of the world. No, but it's not something for your husband.
SPEAKER_02:And maybe for your husband. Yeah. And for me, I'm not putting him on it too soon. I don't mind absolutely, you know, I don't mind if he has to be traked. If we get to that point, I understand. But I weren't nine days. You just told me I got to do 14 days. I got some time to think this over.
SPEAKER_01:I just want our listeners to know one of my um operations managers, he was in a car accident, and so he was trached and he came off the trake and lives a completely normal life and the whole thing.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. And actually, the good thing was for me is that I actually had a nurse um that talked to me about this after the like another nurse that we ended up having at one point in time talked to me about Drake because she was a big trake advocate. So that, you know, which helps too. So it makes just also ultimately keeps you on the this is what would happen kind of thing if he does go that route. Absolutely. But after I just told her no, we're not doing that yet, I said I'll consider it when we need to get to that point, but we're not there yet. Um, it was literally 30 minutes later, and a nurse walked in and started feeling his neck. And I'm like, Who are you and what are you doing? And she's like, Well, I've got a set appointment for him to trake him at 2:30 p.m. I said, Excuse me. These people don't communicate. It is the craziest. Oh my gosh. And I was like, Um, yeah, that's not happening. So she's like, okay, she goes, Well, uh, I will go find out what's going on because I'm really sorry. She's like, I had these orders. I said, that's okay. I'm just telling you, I just had this conversation. So she brought the resident back who's like, I'm sorry, I just put that in. Because it's usually days before they do anything. At this point, she, this resident, particular resident, wasn't really my favorite person the way she thinks things through. So I'm like, okay, well, I'm gonna repeat myself to you just so you know. I told you, I understand it may happen, but we're not doing it now. So you can take the orders out for good until I tell you that we need to make that change. So um we get through that day. The next day he's actually awake and um he's looking at me, he's smiling at me, he's like winking at me. So I mean, he knows for sure who I am, but he's unaware of his that he has a trach in, I mean a vent, and you can tell. Like he doesn't even realize that there's tubes. He kind of just laying in this bed looking at me like we're just having a normal day, like it's living his best life, you know. So it was like, you know, okay, no big deal. So then very next day on Wednesday, it could be the delirium from the sedation complete. He's just, it's just it was it was funny. And and he would make me laugh because somebody would say something, he'd look at me like, oh my god, and roll his eyes, but I mean, it was funny. Well, then on Wednesday, they decide they're gonna go ahead and remove the vent. We're gonna give it a try, which of course that resident told me, you do realize if we do this and that it doesn't go well, we have to re-vent him. And that is very that that's very traumatizing. And I said, you know, this whole event has been traumatizing. One more thing's not gonna really be that big of a problem. I'm okay with that. We're gonna take that risk. So she goes ahead, they sit him up, the group is all, all these doctors are there and everything, and they're like having me standing there. And I said, I've never seen this removed. I don't know what this is like. So I said, Do you really want me standing here? And she's like, Yeah, just stay here. It's no big deal. Don't worry about it. I'm like, okay. So I'm standing there and he's sitting up, and he's as they're sitting him up, he's like getting angry, and he's starting to have some you can hardly hear understand him or hear him, but you can tell he's whispering kind of because of the vent in, and he's saying curse words. I'm like, this isn't gonna be good. So as the trait comes out, he immediately says a couple of things that aren't nice to anybody, and he just looks mad, and he they they're talking to him, and then they asked if he know who knows who I am, and he looks at me and he's like, No, and he looks away, and they're talking to him again for a moment, and they are like, Okay, but do you know who she is? And he says, No. And I'm like thinking, Okay, now now we're in a new realm of what I'm gonna have to do because I don't know how I get my husband to know I'm his wife, you know. So his sister walks in a room and they're like, Do you know who that is? He goes, Uh yeah, that's my sister. Oh Lord. Then his one brother, oldest brother comes in and he knew him. And his uh the second brother in line came in and he did not know him. So he and he didn't like that he was in the room either.
SPEAKER_01:He did not like it was going to be. I don't know this person and I don't like him here.
SPEAKER_02:So um we're sitting there for a little while, and everybody ends up going out of the room. And so I go up next to him and I'm just standing there, and it was very awkward. And he's just sitting there staring straight ahead, and I'm on the side of him. So I finally look at him, I go, Do you know who I am? And he goes, No. And he looks away and I'm like, Okay, well, can I tell you who I am? And he's like, sure. And I said, I'm your wife. And he goes, Yeah, okay. And I'm like, Okay, um, I said, Can I show you pictures? And he's like, sure. So I grab my phone and there's a family photo on my phone, and I take a hand to him. I said, Do you see this photo? And he's like, Yeah. And I said, That's us and our family. And he's staring at it and staring at it, and he goes, That's me. But I don't know how you did that. I'm like, like I'm photoshopping shit for him.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:AI, AI was not a thing when this was happening. So um, I go ahead, I tell him, I'm like, okay, now I gotta come with something better, I guess. So I zoomed in on just me, him, and my daughter, hoping maybe that would be what would, you know, kind of kick it in a little bit. I don't know. And he's staring at it. And I said, Do you see that little girl? And he said, Yeah, I go, that's your daughter, and that's you and me. And he's staring at it and staring at it, and we just kind of sit there and he just keeps staring at, like really intensely staring at, and then all of a sudden he starts to kind of cry and he says, He grabs my hand and he's like, Oh my god. And it's like you could tell it flooded back that he knew who we were. And so it was just very crazy experience that you're like, Phew, okay. Yeah, I didn't want to live that for days or anything by any means. It did take him a couple days to actually really know his brother for some reason. Um, but luckily for me, we got that back sooner than later. So we get into Thursday and I had to help. We he needed to have a a bath and everything. And so we the nurse came in. Well, they were all kind of nervous and scared around him just because he was very temperamental. And so she would um, so I helped her. We bathed them, got them all cleaned up. They decided they're gonna get him up and put him in a chair so he could sit up, which made him happy. And but then when the guy came to help him up, he the whole time he was staring at him like he was gonna like punch the guy in the face or something. It was horrible. And I felt so uncomfortable. I was worried he was gonna do something, but he never did. He sat in the chair, he was happy, he wanted to get up and walk around to everybody he was strong and he could do everything again. And um they told him that they could walk him, but only a short distance because they were just nervous, like, you know, how he's gonna do. And so they did walk around a little bit, walked him out into the hallway, and this one lady starts cheering for him, and he started getting angry. I think he thought they were making fun of him. When they weren't, they're just so excited he could get up and around after what he just went through. Um, so they brought him back to the room because he started kind of getting in a bad mood. And then it was kind of this is the one thing, and it's it's kind of gross, but it's funny. And uh, I tell him I said, I am sharing this one. He then had to go to the bathroom. Well, they have a bathroom in there, but you couldn't use them because they're the bathrooms are too small. So they were only really used for them to like dump things in, use a sink, but nobody can actually use the facility in each room. So he had to get a commode, and he was not happy about that. So they bring him the commode and they keep telling him, you have to sit on this. And he is staring at me as these two women are trying to help him to sit, and he is pissed. And he's telling me that this is ridiculous, and why am I making him do this? You know, and I'm like, Well, if you have to go to the bathroom, this is what you're gonna have to do. So they finally sit him down and they're like, Okay, Tom, you're fine. Just go ahead and go to the bathroom. And he was very embarrassed looking. So they're like, We can, you know, leave the room. And so they walked outside at least of the room and shut the curtain on everything. And so he's like, You seriously want me to go to the bathroom just like this, right here? And I'm like, Yeah. And he's like, Okay, then. And so, in like this most, because this is a man with delirium, reminds you that this is not a sound mind. And how of a sudden he's like, mmm, then he makes it really dramatic. Like, he goes, You like that?
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02:I started laughing. I'm like, sure, yeah, I do.
unknown:He's oh my god.
SPEAKER_02:And he's like, okay, he's like, all right then. And he did it again. And I was like, This is so disgusting. But I'm kind of laughing, just like you better watch it, or I'm gonna be your ex wife when we leave here. So at the after it's all they came in, they cleaned him up, everything was fine, and they get him back, got him in his bed. And by this point, he's even telling me how he in love with me he is. He's inviting them to our wedding. Anybody wants to come to our wedding, they can. And then, like, you could have him like an hour later, and he would be like talking, telling everybody that I was an idiot, that he never had a heart attack, and how stupid I am. And if you guys are listening to her, she's a dumbass, and like just constantly just like you went from one end to the other. I was either the love of his life or I was the dumbest bitch he ever met. So we had security called at different times, like, because he would get so, especially in the evenings, he got worse. And so it was just an ongoing experience. One guy actually, one of the times I went home on the weekend, he came up to me and he says, How do you handle that? Like you're so little, I don't understand. And I go, he doesn't do that at home. Like it's just not like normal behavior or something, you know, and he is tied down, so I'm not really too concerned when all that, you know, when all of that was going on. But I was like, okay, I mean, I'm not an abused wife. I'm just dealing with a delirium person right now. So after this, though, we went ahead and they decided to put him in um the room across the hall because they wanted to move him to a different hallway and get him out of ICU, but they had to get, they had to wait for the right room, and they were still concerned because of his delirium. And so they had gotten him over there. Um, they started doing like swallow tests on him, seeing if they could get the NG tube um out and he could start eating. Every time, though, that they would do the have him eat something, he would clear his throat. Well, I know how he is, so ultimately he was thinking he was like in his mind, it'd be like being kind of like polite, like I finished for you. And they took it as whoop, failed. So every time that they went in there, he kept failing and it was driving me crazy. So on it through that day, he was becoming like on and off again, combative. And I would give him some sips of water, try to get him through. We would kind of do what we could, and then um one of the times he started getting really angry, and I asked, nobody really wanted to help so much at the hospital. I think they're getting tired of him being a pain in the butt. And so it would take a little longer for them to come and help me. But Jimmy all of a sudden came in and he saw him. And by this point, he scooched down the bed some and he's kicking at me. And so Jimmy comes up and grabs him by one arm and starts slides him up the bed, and immediately Tom hauls off and punches him and gives him a black eye.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02:And Jimmy was yelling at him, telling him, you know, you need to cut it out. And it was it was not good. I know Jimmy had his fill by this point, too. So he left the room after that. And but at least Tom got a little bit more settled in. And um, so then comes we're onto the weekend, and he's being combative again, and this nurse is walking the hall, and I'm like, can you please come in here and help me? And this guy comes in, and then immediately Tom starts accusing us of having an affair. And so he starts getting right, like, he's gonna punch this guy, and this guy has a step away from the bed. I'm like, oh my God, you have to stop trying to beat everybody up like this is ridiculous. And um, they kind of like every so often they kind of would have to give him a little something to calm him down still, just because it was not, he just was struggling too badly. But that night at least I was able to get a break. So I went home, um, and his friend Larry had came to stay the night with him to give him a break, which was kind of nice because on the weekends they're uneventful, so I feel felt more comfortable leave anyways. Sunday morning I get there and Larry leaves and said he had the night was fine. He wasn't sleeping, um, but he was at least made it through the night and he was it wasn't too bad. And as soon as he left, Tom starts giving me a hard time kicking at me, tell me, you know, how horrible I am, because basically I think he thought I was trapping him there. And so I had to call Larry. I'm like, please come back up here. And he's like, Well, um, my truck just got broken into, so I won't be up there anytime soon, you know, and he'd been up all night, so I felt really bad. Um, but at this point, the day goes on and we do another swallow test, and I had not been in the room. His sister was. I come back in and they are like dealing with cleaning him up and stuff. I'm like, what happened? And they said, Well, he ate something and then he threw it up, but he threw it up so hard the NG tube even came out. And I'm like, what? And they're like, that never happens, like, doesn't happen. And I'm like, Well, what'd you feed him? And they're like, a peach. And I'm like, he doesn't even he hates peaches. And they're like, well, he said he likes them. I'm like, okay, well, he's nuts, so he's just not like peaches. That's probably why he threw it up. So a little bit later in the day, I go to the bathroom and I come back and I see one of his friends standing out in the hallway, and his eyes are huge. And I'm like, what is going on now? And I walk in and they are finishing trying to stick the NG tube back down his throat. Well, I know this man can eat things because I've been continually like giving him sips of stuff from people running around. So I'm like going, Oh my God. And he's easy to make angry. And so we're just poking and prodding like at this big bear, right? So I walk in and they all froze. And it didn't work, obviously. And Tom's sitting there and he's you know, I'm like, Are you okay? And he's like, Yeah, and he grabs my hand, he goes, Are you still gonna love me after all of this? And I said, Yes, I still love you, don't worry. And I asked everybody in the room, I go, Do we really think that this is smart? Does anybody in here really think this is a good idea? And they all just drop their heads. And I'm like, Any of you? So one of them says, Well, we really don't want to do this because he needs to take his medication and we're just really worried, and he didn't swallow the make, you know, pass a swallow test. So we just want to make this happen. So I'm like, Tom's like, I'll do it. I'll do it again. And I said, Listen, this man has two nostrils. You've done one, you can try the other, and then you're done. So they start trying it again, it's not working. He's gagging, you know, the whole nine yards. It gets done, they pulled the tube out. And I said, I'm gonna ask you guys again, do you really think that this is a good idea? We just start poking at this man. I just feel like he's gonna get angry at some point, and there's probably something else we could come up with. And this nurse starts telling Tom, Tom, I know you don't like it, but this is something we have to do. We we've we've got to do it. I mean, I know it's hard, but you can make it happen. I said, I'm gonna tell you that you probably need to back away from my husband. Okay. And then she looked at me. I go, and I'm serious. Stop talking to him. And I told him, I said, seriously, I think that you guys are an intelligent group of people. I don't think that this should be the best thing. I think there's something else we could do. And finally, one girl looks up and she said, I don't think this is a good idea. I said, Thank you. So they leave the room, and all of a sudden, Tom's sitting there, he's in a good mood. A couple people, you know, are there, and then all of a sudden his one of his friends, Kevin, who's coming to stay the night, he's out in the hallway and he's like, Kevin, Kevin. I'm like, Well, he knows him. Yeah. So he comes in and we're gonna do a swap. So I grab my bags and stuff. And as I'm walking out, this doctor come, this other resident comes up to me and he says, So we were thinking about giving him crushing up his pills and putting in an ice cream. Do you think he'd like that? And I'm like, Oh, yeah, I think he'd probably like some ice cream. That would probably work well. So that's what they did with him at that point time, which was a good thing because it just worked out to be where he was happy and he got his medications and it was all good. So on Monday, when I come back, um, they've decided they finally can move him to another room, which is awesome. Get them settled in, they give me a cot because they had always they started after in the beginning. I told you how they didn't let me sleep in the room. Once you got it somebody with delirium and nuts that doesn't listen to anybody is that combative, then they they put a nice little seat for you in the room with them. So I'd been in there with him the whole time. So when I went to the next floor, they gave me a cot and and kind of got me all settled. And my sister-in-law Michelle was like, came up, she, you know, came in and she was like, I'm just gonna stay tonight so you can get another night to go home. And I'm like, Oh, seriously? And she's like, Yeah, I'm like, okay. Well, I said, I'm gonna stay for a while. Well, he starts dozing off, and all of a sudden he starts, he's like snoring really loud, and then all of a sudden he's um like stops breathing and it like goes on for about a minute, and then he starts breathing. So, as you and I know, obviously, and DME, um, he's having definite severe apnea. And I'm like, Oh my god. Well, and it was then he'd like wake up and he'd gasp for air. And I'm like, what in the heck? Well, they had given us a sitter because they're concerned because of since he had delirium. So I told her, I said, Are you? I said, You need to go get a nurse and tell her. And she goes, I've been even timing these things so I can go tell them. And so they came in and I'm like, I can't leave. So Michelle and I just both stayed there, and I at least I felt like I maybe could doze some a little bit that night. I didn't sleep very much, don't get me wrong, but at least a little bit if she was watching him while that would happen, you know. So we made it through the night and everything was fine and um and it was no problem. And they just basically said, we'll keep an eye on him, but because of his delirium, I think they just didn't feel confident to put a mask on him. It's not gonna work, you know what I mean? So it is what it is, and he was so full of fluid. Um, I mean, his hands were even swollen from fluid. It was, you know, I it just it was a lot. So we get to Tuesday, and um there is a new nurse that even takes over at this point, and it was not the one that we'd had originally on Monday, who is the sweetest thing ever. So this um guy, he all of a sudden was like, didn't want to give Tom this heparin shot because Tom said he didn't, he's like, hey man, you want this? And Tom goes, uh nah. And he's like, okay. And the guy goes, Why aren't you giving it to him? He goes, he said he didn't want it. And he goes, I've given it to him during the night. I don't know what the problem is. And he goes, Well, he said he didn't want it. So I knew he'd already read in charts that he could get um the way, you know, get angry. And so he just decided he wasn't gonna take care of him, is basically what it was. And um he did get, I did tell his boss that he wasn't welcome back after that day of being a nurse for him. Um so we as we're getting through the week, he is getting better in certain ways. He's able to get up and around, he's walking, he still has a catheter in, and Larry's visiting with with me um for the day, and he's getting up and telling us every 15 minutes he's gotta go to the bathroom. So we'd have to walk him to the bathroom and he'd act like he was going to the bathroom, and then we'd walk out. And this was going on for hours. And Larry, I think, was tired by 3 p.m., he's like, okay, I'm gonna leave. So he brought him some peanut MMs. He goes, Would you like some of these? And Tom was the happiest guy you ever seen in your life. He gets some peanut MMs. He's like, Yes. So he gave him those, and and um then, you know, as the night goes on, he always would get kind of combative, and and he we we had good and bad day times during that day, but in the evening, in that evening, it got to the point to where he wanted to go to the bathroom by himself, and there was a lot of nurses around, and he wanted just be left alone, and so they did not feel comfortable with him going into the bathroom by himself in case he fell. So they kept getting really frantic, telling me you have to not let him go. You can't let him go in there. And I'm like, Okay. So I'm like, Tom, you can't go in the bathroom by yourself, let me go in. He's like, No. And I said, Okay, well, you can't go in when you have because he has the bag from the catheter and he wanted to leave it outside of the bathroom. Well, you're not gonna get too far. So I finally, they're really getting on me, like, you just don't let him do it, don't let him do it. You know, and I'm like, okay, so I said, Well, here, let me just hook this bag inside the bathroom. And as soon as I hooked the bag on the inside of the bathroom, he turned around and was fuming mad at me. And all of a sudden he's puts his arm out with his hand to go towards, like as if you're gonna go towards somebody neck to hold them, and his arm, other arm goes back like he wants to punch me. So I put my arms up and I thought, this guy is he's not stable on his feet. So I'm like, I'm not overly, overly worried. But he starts to come towards me like Frankenstein, and this other lady starts screaming. So he turns towards her and starts walking towards her, and she's hysterical. And then he just turns around after like two steps and just goes in the bathroom and slams the door. And I'm like, oh my God. So I walk out, security's there telling me, you know, we I heard he hit you. I'm like, well, he didn't hit me. Well, that's what they said. I go, Well, I don't care what they told you. I said he came towards me, but no, he did not hit me. And they're like, Well, we're on high alert, you know, for him. And it's it's known in the hospital if anything's going on, we have to, he's priority, you know. I'm okay, but he didn't hit me, you know. So a doctor comes and sits down and tells me, he's like, Why don't you just go ahead and go home? We're gonna get him settled. And I'm like, Well, I've been told he I can't leave him here because of his psych, you know, because of how the psychiatric portion of it, and the psych doc told me they didn't want him alone. They're like, I think we can take care of him for the night. It'll be he'll be fine, you know. So like, okay. So I went ahead and I I went home and he the doctor calls me, like literally, probably two hours into me sleeping, because this is, you know, at night by the time I'm going home, two hours into me sleeping and says, Um, he has got to talk to you. And I'm like, okay. And he's like, um, could you just talk to him? I think it'll be be fine. So I get on the phone and he's like, Gina, bring everybody. Bring them all. You gotta get up here right now. We I gotta go. I gotta get out of here. You gotta bring everybody up here. Like, I'm gonna, we're gonna break him out of like prison or something. So I tell him, I'm like, okay. I said, I'll I said, okay, Tom. I said, you just need to sit tight. I'll I'll be there. You just need to relax. He give the phone back to the doctor. The doctor gets off the phone, he says, Okay, thanks. We'll get him taken care of. It'll be fine. I'm really, really, really sorry. He goes ahead and he he he then uh calls me two hours later after that, and he says, Um, you're gonna have to come back up here. And I'm like, What? And he goes, You're gonna have to come up here. He said, I'm so sorry. And he's like, I know that you have a young daughter at home and you really need to have some time at home, but he won't take his medication. Well, I was at the this night anyway, staying at Jimmy's house because it was closer to the hospital. So I had to wake up Jimmy, told him, Can you please take me up to the hospital? So we we run up there and we get there and they're like, Well, he's sleeping now. We don't want to wake him. I'm like, what? And they're like, Oh yeah, we don't want to wake him. Like, okay. So we're getting close to going home though. Things are getting better. Doctors are telling us, you know, things are getting better. One doctor said we really got to get him out of here because the delirium, it's true delirium. Once you get him out of here, he's gonna be clear-minded. We won't, it'll be much better. You know, they had taken out the um catheter for him and everything as well. So everything was on the up and up. And um this my daughter even came and visited uh Tom on this day. So they had, you know, we got to see each other and and she got to kind of get comfortable with the fact everything was better, you know what I mean, and normal. And um, then they talked about getting him a life vest so he can go home. And when they contacted the insurance, the insurance said no. So then the doctor said, well, they didn't want to feel comfortable with him leaving unless he had a defibrillator pacemaker placed in him or a life vest. So if you're gonna do a life vest, then they have to do the procedure. So they told us they're like, he's gonna have to stay. And so they're gonna try to get him in on Friday. And so we're not gonna give him anything to eat or drink or whatever until we know if we can get him in or not. Okay, fine. So at noon they come in and they're like, Okay, Tom, you can start eating, you know. And they look at me and they're like, it's not gonna happen. And then they sprint out of the room, and I'm like, Oh, so I get to be the guy to say, you're stuck here longer. And he was wanting to go home. And so the nurses, a couple nurses come back in later and tell me, they're talking about like he's not gonna get seen and place have this place until Wednesday. I'm like, Wednesday? There's no way I can keep him here mentally. We're gonna have problems. Right. So again, I ended up telling him, I'm like, I will just pay for the vest, just give us the vest. And um, luckily, insurance actually all ultimately came through for us and uh said that we could get the vest. And um they six o'clock that evening, we had somebody come in, put the vest on him. We were able to go home. And um, it was very true that getting out of the hospital was the best thing for his brain because as soon as that he got in my car, he was like calm, happy, like we never had any of that combative stuff anymore. And he just didn't know where we lived. He thought we lived somewhere else. And when we got to our house, he did not think that that was his house. And you know, I mean, like we had a lot of different adventures after that. When you have a brain injury, um, it's it is a it's a it was a learning experience in his own to go through the whole process of of what it was like coming home. But at least at that point, we got home, he had his life fest, uh he was ended up going into therapy, you know, within a couple days. And I we just did outpatient and I mean it's it's like we went for the whole day. So we'd go for like six hours, but and I went with him every day to to therapy. So I learned a ton. Um, and I'm glad that I went. But it definitely was a an adventure of just ups and downs and lessons and definitely could not do this without family. Absolutely. For sure without family.
SPEAKER_01:So how long how long were was he inpatient? He was in patient for approximately three weeks. Wow. That's crazy. So what I mean, does he remember anything from or like does he does he have any memories or experiences of like what happened when he was So the one thing there so there's a couple things he'd um that he when I was in the room with him at one point in time, this is when we were at um had you know gone to the step down room, and he was talking to me.
SPEAKER_02:He was in a really good mood, and he all of a sudden just like looks over at me and he says, you know, I was in with the in a room with a whole lot of people, like there's a lot of people, and he goes, but I wanted to go with them and they wouldn't let me. And I'm like, What? And he goes, I really, really wanted to go with them and they wouldn't let me. So I'm like, Okay, you know, I'm like, I don't know, you know, again, we're talking about this guy and his His mind. And um it was very strange. But the way he said it, you could really tell something happened, like something went on. And um, so then he just kind of went about the rest of his day. When we got home, he we it was probably um, I don't know, it was maybe a few weeks later. I don't even remember how long it was, but I don't feel it was a real long time. But at some point in time, he all of a sudden was in our bedroom and he came out of his room and he had his phone in his hand and he had tears coming down his face. And I'm like, what's going on? And uh he said, I gotta show you something. And I said, What? And he goes, I gotta show you this picture. He said, Remember, I because when he came home, he kept making comments to me that somebody came to him and told him that he kept saying he wanted to go. And they told him, Tommy, you can't go. You got things to do. And so I knew that he had even more of an experience because when he got home, he had talked about it again a little bit more. But at this point, all of a sudden, he goes like, I don't know who that guy is. But he goes, It wasn't Jesus. I can tell you it wasn't Jesus. But I it's like, but the guy knew me. So all of a sudden he comes out of our bedroom and he's holding his phone and he says, Um, this is who it was. And he shows me a picture of this guy, and he's like, So when he was a kid, this guy, their families were very, very close. And this particular guy was 19 years old, I believe, and um they were he he considered him to be like a brother because they were such all good, such such good friends and neighbors and stuff. Well, that guy got killed at 19 years of age. He's like, that's who came to me. Oh my god, and told me that it wasn't his time and that he had things to do. And he so he does always tell me all the time, he's like, um, I know for sure where I'm going when I pass, and I can tell you you feel better than you've ever felt in your whole life. And he's like, so he doesn't have any fears of dying, of dying, you know.
SPEAKER_01:But it does sound like he had a little stop in purgatory before he made it.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah, he definitely did. They sent him back. Right. He had a little uh he had something happen, that's for real. But it's it and it's just strange when you know you can sit and say, I don't know who it was. But if you saw pictures of that guy, I mean, like there's a painting of him that really looks honest to God, looks like Jesus, and when they painted it. But if you even just see regular photos of him, he's got the hair, the length you always see of Jesus in the photos, and this it's brown hair, and so there's a lot of similarities. So I understand why he kept saying, I don't, I just don't. And he said the guy was holding a cross in front of him when he was talking to him. So yeah, crazy stuff, lots of crazy, crazy things. But again, that's why, like, when you go back to last episode in faith, there's no doubt I believe in God.
SPEAKER_01:There is absolutely no doubt. Was so it was his 19-year-old, and he he was he appeared like 19 years old.
SPEAKER_02:Um, I don't know. You know, he's never told me for sure if he like appeared night. He just was like, I know he just like knew it was him, you know. I just have that question when you pass, like like how old are you? You know, I've never asked him that. That's what's weird. I've never asked him that. He just I don't know. He ne I never asked him that. How old is he? Like, or how you know Was he older or was he 19? Yeah. In some ways you would think he wouldn't be 19 just because he you would think he would recognize him because they were very close. Right. You know what I mean? But I don't know. It's a good question. I'm gonna have to ask him.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we're gonna need follow-up to that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but it was definitely uh interesting.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think that we're all taking a deep breath after that one. Gina, thank you for being so open and brave and sharing what you went through. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02:I just hope someone listening today feels a little less alone because faith doesn't mean we don't struggle, it means we keep showing up even when we're terrified.
SPEAKER_01:If this episode touched you, please share it with a friend who might need a reminder that miracles do happen. And if you're walking through something heavy, know that you're not alone.
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SPEAKER_01:We love hearing your stories. Until next time, take care of yourself, lean on your faith, and remember it's okay to not be okay. Thanks for listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, where moms support moms and faith finds its way through fear. If no one's told you lately, let me be the one to say it.
SPEAKER_02:You're not failing, you're growing, you're not broken, you're becoming, and you're doing better than you think.
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