The ARMC
Two anxiety ridden Moms and professionals taking on life and work. We've come together to talk about it all and formed The Anxiety Ridden Moms Club or ARMC for short. Welcome to our show, we look forward at what's to come. Thank you for joining us every week for a new episode.
The ARMC
Your Body Is A Home, Not A Report Card
We unpack the anxious, complicated relationship with our bodies after kids and trade the bounce-back myth for grounded confidence, community, and simple daily habits. From food noise and GLP-1 to closet resets and unfollowing triggers, we share practical ways to protect peace.
• reframing body image as identity, not just looks
• food anxiety, control, and the role of GLP-1
• hydration, hunger cues, and simple routines
• universal comparison traps and lingering judgments
• fit over labels and closet decluttering for calm
• shifting friendships, sobriety, and support systems
• confidence tools: kind self-talk, movement for joy
• social media boundaries and unfollowing triggers
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Welcome back to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, season two, baby. We're still anxious, still thriving, ish, and this season we're diving deep into one of the most complicated, beautiful, and straight-up messy parts of motherhood. Relationships.
SPEAKER_01:The ones that lift us up, the ones that drain us, and the ones that change when motherhood hits like a wrecking ball.
SPEAKER_00:From ride or die friendships to awkward play date moms, from supportive partners to the ones who just don't get it, we're unpacking it all. Because motherhood doesn't just reshape your body, it reshapes your people.
SPEAKER_01:And sometimes you outgrow folks.
SPEAKER_00:Sometimes you build a village you never had. We're talking about boundaries, support systems, love languages, mom guilt, and learning to unapologetically put yourself first.
SPEAKER_01:If your group chat is your therapy, if your toddler is your toxic coworker, or if your idea of date night is hiding in the pantry with snacks, this season is for you.
SPEAKER_00:Let's talk about it, let's laugh, cry, confess, and build this messy, anxious, loving village together. Welcome to season two of the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club. Welcome back to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club. If you're new here, we're so glad you found our little corner of the internet where it's okay to be real, raw, and a little anxious.
SPEAKER_01:This week, we're diving into one of the most complicated relationships we'll ever have, the one with our own bodies.
SPEAKER_00:That relationship can be so messy, especially after kids. The changes, the expectations, the bounce back pressure. It's like we're handed a new body and a new set of anxieties at the same time.
SPEAKER_01:And if you're on a fitness or weight loss journey, whether it's from GLP1 medication, working out, or just trying to feel strong again, it's easy for that anxious inner voice to start taking over.
SPEAKER_00:So today we're talking about body image, self-acceptance, and the anxious chatter that lives rent-free in our heads every time we look in the mirror and try on genes that used to fit.
SPEAKER_01:You know, before I had kids, I thought that I had a decent relationship with my body. Sure, I had insecurities. I mean, who doesn't? But after having babies, I realized how much anxiety is tied up in what our bodies used to look like.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. And that mental comparison game is brutal. We see old photos or influencers who snapped back and suddenly our worth feels attached to a dress size.
SPEAKER_01:And it's not even just about looks, it's about identity. Like, who am I in this new body? The anxious brain starts whispering, you've let yourself go, or you'll never get back there.
SPEAKER_00:When really we should be saying, look what my body did, look what I survived. But that's easier said than done when anxiety's steering the ship. All right. Let's get into it. Can we talk about the food anxiety piece for a second? Because I feel like so many moms have this push and pull. You want to eat clean, but you're also trying to survive the day.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Exactly. You'll have one day where you're meal prepping and proud. And then the next, you're eating mac and cheese off the kid's plate and spiraling about it. For real.
SPEAKER_00:The spiral isn't really about the food, it's about control. Anxiety loves control. When everything feels unpredictable, parenting, marriage, work, food becomes this area that we think we can micromanage.
SPEAKER_01:Or clothes. Trying to get dressed can literally trigger panic. You put something on, it doesn't fit how it used to, and instantly your anxiety screams, see, you're not enough.
SPEAKER_00:That's when you have to pause and ask, is this truth or is this my anxiety talking? It's the relationship. I know the relationship I have with food, which I will say, you know, a few weeks ago we talked about GLP one, and um it is very expensive. And um I am not taking it probably well, like I should, uh honestly. So I have a huge deductible with my insurance. And so I started a new job in April. And at this point, I'm like, man, I don't want this to apply to my deductible and meet my deductible in October, November. So between now and the end of the year, I'm trying to stretch the shots along to get in in January. Then I'll I'll start over my deductible. We met early and whatever. Um, I will say the one thing that my GLP one helps so much with is the food noise. Like, I don't know. I think I think people, some people are born with food noise and some people are not. Um, and I say that because like I know that my son has that food noise where you think about food all the freaking time. I don't know how you stop it. I don't know. Um, but it's thinking about food differently. It's not if you think about it as not necessarily a pleasure and more of a necessity. A necessity. And this is I'm eating this to fuel this. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:What's the saying? Um eat to eat, wait, what is it? My dad would always say it all the time when I was running. Um, food, he was he would always say food is basically something just because there to keep you alive. So eat to that's gonna make me mad. I can't under it, cannot obviously just hit me that I'm like, I gotta tell you this because it's like a little saying about you know the relationship with your food, because it's really you're supposed to just look at food as being a source of life. So every meal doesn't have to be your favorite meal. My dad would tell us that too. But my dad also was never he's never been one that's been driven by food anyway. So like he would always make a lot of those comments, and so um some of those things would always kind of ring in my head when he would say that kind of stuff.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, absolutely, because there are times I mean, food is my best friend sometimes, you know. When I'm anxious, I go towards food. When I'm sad, I go towards food. When I'm happy, we use what to celebrate. Food. Food. Everything's based around food. Everything is based around food. And to be honest, I thoroughly fucking enjoy food. I had sent my uh mom an article of someone, I think I sent it to you too, of which these stories have been freaking crazy about servers not getting tips and then losing their freaking minds. But I had sent you guys an article of an olive garden in St. Louis that the they didn't, it was like$94 that they had racked up and they didn't leave a tip. Yeah. And she threw a basket of breadsticks at them and got assault charges. And literally the first thing to my mind is there is never a good reason to waste a basket of breadsticks. Ever. It's just how I'm wired. So again, um the GLP one, I will definitely say, so with me stretching out the shots, I can absolutely tell when it has worn off and food is back into my focus. You know what I mean? Right. So that's one thing that I will definitely give props to is um it helps with it helps with the food noise so, so, so much. Right. Which is really cool.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Which I think is I've personally never I but all of my growing up, I was never an eater. I mean, my mom used to always even tell me that like, okay, eat. And I'd be like, I'm really not hungry. Like I could go for a long period of time and not eat. I'd have to like, she'd say, just at least a few bites. So I'd get up and even stick my stomach out and say, just feel it. It's too hard. Can you tell how full I am? Like, I'm too full. And then if she went, I would not get away from her until she touched my stomach and left me alone about eating. But it just wasn't my I I didn't have a relationship with it. But I think my mom always felt that my mom, emotionally, if she would get upset, would want to eat. So she actually, if we were having, if we were upset or had any issues emotionally, whatever that was when we were a kid, she would send us to her rooms. So I would just lay down, take a two-hour nap. I'd feel much better. My brother would go in his bedroom, throw temper tantrums, you'd hear something get thrown and he'd scream or something. Which um, in turn makes me that if I'm stressed out, my go-to is sleep. I just want to sleep. But I think it's because her mom, it would invite her in the kitchen. So she had like kind of a bad day. She'd be like, Come on in here, let's have a snack. So to her, it became her comfort. So I'm I always, you know, she would talk about her struggles with it sometimes because of the fact that that's her would be her go-to thing was that I'd rather just eat something, you know. And to me, I'd be like, I'd rather just go to bed. So, but I do understand. I I completely understand because I absolutely love cooking delicious, horrible for you food. I love it. So I totally completely understand why that is, and especially even like growing up around her, it I understood the battles of that too. You know, that that's where your mind goes.
SPEAKER_00:For sure. And it definitely it's we've got to treat it more as a fuel. And there are, I mean, I've texted you a hundred times, like, I'm so freaking exhausted. And then I'm like, oh my god, I haven't eaten today.
SPEAKER_01:Um and that's a I mean, that's important too. I think is that you know, I think that happens a lot of times where you don't eat for too long, and then all of a sudden you're so hungry. Then you eat too much, and then sometimes they'll say, Well, it's actually because your body's really more thirsty than it is hungry. Sometimes during the day two, people eat more, but really they should be drinking more. I mean, there's this whole thing, I mean it's a it's a big thing.
SPEAKER_00:It really is, you know. Yes, I've gotta increase water intake. That is absolutely for sure.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:I would just rather have a diet coke. And I just don't drink that much. Like, but you need to, that's where you have to work.
SPEAKER_01:That's honestly if I would tell you to do anything to start, that's like one of the first things you should really start. Because one, it fills you up, obviously. When you put fluid in there, you're gonna fill your stomach up some, which does help at least curb a little bit of your appetite. But it doesn't, I understand it does not, it's not the same as crunching on something, you know, chewing on something. I mean, there's there's that whole process. So I know I understand drinking doesn't solve all that problem, but it does, it does help. But it also is extremely helpful for I mean, we definitely as a society, people do not drink enough water for real, and should. Just for so many health reasons, anyways, above and beyond anything to do with our weight. It's just important. So you need to drink more. So I I guess that's something I need to start hounding you about.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Have you drank your water? Yes, I'll I'll check with you midday. How much have you had? How many ounces? I don't want to hear. I think I've drank a good amount. No, no, no, how many ounces have you had? I know.
SPEAKER_00:We've got enough Stanley's to go around, so it shouldn't be that hard to keep track of the colours. Yeah, no excuses. Yeah, I will I will have, which my God, I will have a coffee cup, and then I will have my water, and then I will have a diet coke, and then I will have like I I have all of the drinks. I just don't drink them.
SPEAKER_01:But you have to remember though that you have to drink like about a hundred ounces or so of water. That and then anything else you drink is other fluid.
SPEAKER_00:Like that doesn't erase your water. So then I'll be dehydrated all the time because I'll drink 10 ounces of water and then just won't drink anything the rest of the day. It's it's a really pro it's a real problem. We gotta work on that. Here at the anxiety-ridden moms love, we have to work on drinking more water.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, drinking more water for sure. Well, you know, the other thing I was thinking about too is the fact that, like, okay, so I mean I think girls in general always are insecure about their bodies to some degree, no matter what age we were at or anything. After having babies for sure, we definitely get more of a change and um become even more insecure. And I remember talking to this girl, she did those. I'm gonna say this, I might say this wrong. Is it bourgeois? Is that what they're called? Those pictures, something like that. Something like that. Whatever, them bougie pictures. Boudoir. Boudoir. Boudoir, bouge, bourgeois, whatever. It's like saying Worcestershire, you know, Worcester's a sister. Yeah. Um, so um, she told me, she said, you know, that she's always been, um, even when she was younger, she said I was always at least a little bit heavier, even growing up. And she's like, so then as you get older and you have kids, she's like, you know, I've I put on some weight, like everybody puts some weight. And she said, so she does these photos for women, and she goes, and they'll be getting out, getting their lingerie and stuff and telling her that they're so self-conscious. And she goes, they'll be like a size two. And I'm thinking, are you crazy? Like you're a size two. Like, what are you self-conscious about? And she goes, but you know what I really realized? They were not a size two in high school, so their body changed too. So it's not the norm for them. And so everybody has body image issues. It doesn't matter the size that they are because no matter what we all change, and what you change, you don't like.
SPEAKER_00:So damn judgy. Yes. So damn judgy. Yes. You know, if you're too skinny, it's eat a cheeseburger. If you're too fat, it's you're a pig. It's and I get so jealous, and I know that I have to find it in myself to have that confidence. And, you know, there are people that are are bigger than me that wear crop tops, and it's it's just the their confidence and the confidence that they put out into the world. And I get so jealous of that because I want to, I want to feel that way. Right. You know, um walking every morning just a couple of days ago, uh we were walking and we got passed by somebody running, and it just so happened that that person running called me fat in high school and I weighed 156 pounds. And I wanted to stop him on that run and be like, Do you remember when you called me fat and I weighed 156 pounds? I would pay money to be that size again, motherfucker. You better run faster before I punch you in the face. Some of those things you just never, ever, ever get over, apparently. And I, you know, I should never, ever, ever put that much, have put that much weight into what people say about me. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, yes. I have to be confident in myself and not give a sh give a shit. I should never ever allow someone to live in my head rent-free like that. Um, but I do. I remember exactly who it was. I remember what I weighed back then, and and you know, I don't know. I I've got to find the confidence within myself for sure. Um, but it's, you know, whether you're too skinny or too fat, it's if you're not fat, you're ugly. If it's not, you know, just we that's just the world we live in, and we've got to find a way within ourselves to not let that consume us because and the truth is, I mean, think about it, it's think about all the people that you even find attractive.
SPEAKER_01:What's attractive a lot of times more than anything is their confidence. One thousand percent. So it's like, I think that you know, obviously looking better is how it can be different for everybody. You know what I mean? Like there's no such size or such height or hair color, you know what I mean, that has to be attractive. And I just feel like it's about finding that you feel comfortable in your own skin so that you can have the confidence. And I think that's where people instead look at other photos of other people and dictate it off of that. But really, like sometimes you put on an outfit that you're like, okay, when I fit in this particular outfit is when I feel like I'm rocking it, you know what I mean? Like I just need to be it here and then I feel good about myself. Not that I have to be as thin as that person or you know, have boobs like that one over there, you know what I mean? Like that it can be different. I think the thing I think is focusing maybe our minds a little differently for sure.
SPEAKER_00:You know, and I probably, you know, hopefully Scotty the Hottie's changed since then, and he's not such an obnoxious prick. Maybe he has, maybe he hasn't. I don't know, but I need to let it go. I need to find it within myself to let it go and hope that over time. I hope he grew up. He grew up and he grew out of that that too. Yes.
SPEAKER_01:So yes, we do a lot of growing in our 20s, especially. Especially in our 20s.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, and I can forgive, but sometimes you don't forget. I don't forget. Gosh, and some of those things just will haunt you, and you gotta learn to you gotta learn to let them go. Yep, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_00:And then yeah, having kids just screws up everything. Yes, um, as far as our bodies are concerned. But you know, again, as we look at as food as fuel, like we need to be so super impressed that our bodies can go through what they go through to bring additional humans into the world. Like, I think there's a reason God gave a you know, the woman to carry the child and not the man. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. How capable we are, and not only the things that happen to your body, but the things that happen to your brain, the hormones, the all all of the good things that go along with with that. Yeah, you know, postpartum.
SPEAKER_01:And yeah, I think that's the thing. There's been some the some women that have gotten on TikTok that I've seen lately, and they've made comments about how, you know, like even if they're talking about their stretch marks or something, they might be talking about some cream they use or whatever, but they'll talk about how they realize that that's you know, like one girl who referred to her her stretch marks as her tiger stripes, you know, you know, stuff like that. And I do think it's that's the whole thing is that our bodies changing. I mean, it's amazing what our bodies can do. And we should focus more on the fact that, you know, we brought life into the world and we became a mom, and that's what all those things mean. We just have to find our gotta find our way through it, I guess, a little bit though. Because you still want to be sexy and you still want to feel good about yourself and you know what I mean? But then you're also being thrown up on and and dealing with all that, so it's a little hard.
SPEAKER_00:Luckily we've both moved on from that phase, but shout out to all of the women that are currently currently going through that. That is a that's a lot. Yeah, that is a lot. So how do we quiet how do we quiet the anxieties of of life and of comparison and of we're not good enough? Like, how do we find that confidence?
SPEAKER_01:I think it um I think a couple things are you have to find your village of people that you feel supported by. Umes that really, really accept you for who you are, no matter what phase of anything you're in as well. Um because I know sometimes there's been people who've gone through weight loss journeys and actually feels like they lost friends. And um I knew a girl that that happened to, and it was I felt really bad for her because she felt like she wanted to be better for herself. She even stopped um drinking alcohol at all. She didn't want to drink anymore or do anything. She's like, I just want to get feeling better, looking better, being better for my family, you know, all that kind of stuff. And the group that she was hanging out with that would go like on trips and stuff like that would be like, So are you gonna come with us and like you're not gonna drink anything? Or you're not gonna like eat anymore, and like kind of let her know they didn't even want her coming. Like she was ruining their front, their fun. And it really comes down to finding the right, your true group in the end. And it's like we talk about some people are just there for a season, those people were there for her season at one point in time, and that's fine. But she needs to find that new village so that that way you feel supported at any phase of whatever it is you go through that supports you because it's also comes with its own challenges throughout the entire thing. And when you change those kinds of things, even you're eating, like you said, you go to parties and you go to celebrations of any sort, and it's all about food. I mean, who doesn't enjoy delicious, horrible for you food?
SPEAKER_00:For sure. But I think that you all, you know, I think that alcohol is another um another piece of that. And um I, you know, we've talked before about uh, you know, Brad's struggle with with alcohol, and I I don't want to waste the calories on alcohol. And I think something to call out is that that's why you drink vodka.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, but what do you mix it with?
SPEAKER_01:Because ice, those ice drinks.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, go on. Yeah. I just it just doesn't do it. I think that I, you know, there have probably been times in my life that I ran to alcohol. I know, you know, at my previous job, like the days and the weeks were hard. And there was one point when I was going through a divorce that I would stop at the bar every night like before I would go home to kind of like cool down, but also the alcohol would calm the anxieties of the day, and that would be been like that's not good for you, obviously. Um, but I can see that. I can see where people think that you are not fun anymore, or what are you doing here? What are you gonna do? Like, you know, somebody even made a comment one time about well, we go, if we go to an um all-inclusive resort, like you won't even get your money's worth because you're not drinking. And, you know, Brad is sober. I um will have an occasional drink. I don't say that I don't, I don't drink um ever. But I don't do it daily, weekly, probably even monthly. Um it's it would be like a special occasion that I would have or or an all-inclusive resort. I would get my money's worth. But I would never judge somebody for not drinking, you know. I think it's because you want to act like an idiot and you don't want somebody sober that can actually remember what happened. You know, like what I I don't get that. I don't, I don't get that.
SPEAKER_01:Uh I don't either. I don't either. I mean, I guess for me, there's been times where I've been joking around having so much fun, they'll be like, Are you drunk? So I mean, I I don't need alcohol.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So I don't I really don't know what it matters. I mean, my husband and I, we've gone on trips and we don't have anything and people are partaking in all sorts of fun stuff, and we love and enjoy like watching them. You know what I mean? So like for me, I'm like, I don't have to. Sometimes I may have some drinks and will have a good time, and other times I don't want to, and I don't think it should matter if somebody wants to bring me along. And it does tell you something when people feel like that like you don't belong anymore. Tells you a lot about the friendship, I guess, that you have.
SPEAKER_00:For sure. You know, and you're right, they're just there for a season and you gotta find your people that and sometimes if you take another journey, maybe that journey is to take you to the new group of people that you're with.
SPEAKER_01:That's I think that's okay too. But I think that's the scary part of it all. Sometimes I think as well for when you do go through all these changes and all these different things, is how do you meet those people? And and that's why I would say for sure, you know, getting involved in a gym and doing different things, having personal trainers and stuff like that, even is a good thing because it kind of has that person that's completely on your side. You know what I mean? Completely on your side and helps you through it. So that if you feel like your village is gonna leave, you have somebody in your corner cheering you on through it until you figure out all the rest of your new people.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. You know, for sure. No, that makes sense. Gotta find, gotta find our people and push that anxiety to the to the side. Yes. No home here.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_00:Let's talk about confidence hacks. What what are some tools that we can use for rebuilding relationships with our bodies from the inside out? Um, let's see, speak to yourself like you would your best friend.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, you'd never tell your best friend she's disgusting for eating pizza or that her body failed her. So stop saying it to yourself. Self-talk's a big thing, you know. Stop talking bad to yourself. Self-affirmations. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Move your body out of gratitude, not punishment. Don't work out to fix yourself. Move because you deserve to feel good in your skin.
SPEAKER_01:Um, another one is you know, dress for how you feel today. Um, not for the genes you hope to fit into or the person you used to be. Um, you deserve to feel confident in where you're at right now in your journey.
SPEAKER_00:I need to go. I need to go through my drawers and my closet and get rid of things from my past job. I need to go through and get rid of things that you know might fit again one day or are, you know, I think that absolutely something that we can do is just isn't there there's uh the minimalist.
SPEAKER_01:Isn't there um I think somebody's just telling me about it? There's like it's I think it's the minimalist, and they like teach you how to go through your stuff and organize and get all those things in so that you declutter.
SPEAKER_00:There's a Marie Kondo method, and it's if it doesn't spark joy, you get rid of it. But I always have nothing. I would have nothing. Nothing that sparks joy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'm the same way. I'd be like, I guess I'll be trashing absolutely everything because I don't I don't have belong belongings, are not they're not joyful. That's not doesn't bring me joy for sure. But I have had where like I do think that's the thing about it's like I've always had some friends. Um, there was one guy that when I grew up and he his weight always fluctuated a lot. And so he would have like this massive stack of jeans. And I'm like, who in the hell has this many pairs of jeans? And he's like, Genie, you gotta understand. Like, I go from that size to that size to that size to this size to that size to that size. He's like, all the time. So I have to have jeans for all these sizes. I'm like, why don't you just try to pick a size and maybe just pick with it? You know, whatever jeans.
SPEAKER_00:I have more jeans and I'm gonna go through. And if they don't fit, I'm going to, but but the thing is, is like I just found a tote of things and I was like, oh my God, I forgot about these from when I was um I when I got down to my smallest, I put some of the bigger things, and then I was like, I just found a whole new wardrobe that fits. And I was like, hell yeah, a couple days ago. But I do need to get them out of my main closet. And yeah, I need to get organized. Yeah, but I do have more jeans than I can even fight.
SPEAKER_01:My um uh Cammy had even reached out to me. She's like, I'm cleaning our closet. She goes, How many dang jeans does Austin need? And I'm like, What? She goes, it's like he hides in places. She sent me a picture of this huge stack of jeans, and I'm like, I go, are do they even all fit him? I mean, there's no way. I go there, I guarantee he has a this time this year, this time that year. I'm like, tell him to pitch some of those jeans. Some of them he's probably not ever wearing again. You have heavier jeans? You have skinnier jeans. You have the ones that fit right now. Like and I think that you can within reason to keep those, but then the ones that like if you've really accomplished a goal, make sure the ones that like if you maybe have somebody's other heaviest, they should get rid of those. You don't ever want to go back there. Right. Then don't make it easy to go back there. Yeah. Some of those tricks too. But you still gotta have some that if you fluctuate, you're not gonna be crying in your closet either.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that I don't I only kept things that I like absolutely loved. But I will say, like, when I not that I I go to, you know, I I work from home, not that I go to work naked, but like it's less not that anyone would know. Right, right. Well, sometimes I do just have on a shirt. No, I'm not kidding. Um well, I will have on a dress shirt and like leggings or Nike shorts or whatever. Like nobody sees below the waist a new job. But you know, when I had to go to work and get dressed every single day, like I had to have clothes that like I didn't love, but I had to go to work every day and I need my co I couldn't wear the same thing. So that's why I had literally just told somebody that I'm like, I need to go through all my crap and the stuff that I don't absolutely love, just like get rid of it. Yeah. And I think living uh clutter-free or getting rid of that kind of stuff just helps with it helps with my anxiety kind of as a whole, too, to know, you know. Well, not do you like clothes shopping? I do.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I hate it. Not like I hate shopping.
SPEAKER_00:I'm a Ross Marshall's TJ Maxx girl. Like I don't care where you take me. I don't like any of it. Uh don't take me to a mall. Like, I don't like paying full price, but like, yeah, if I can pick out some shirts for$12.99, like fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, God help me. I need like a personal shopper.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, just today my mom said, What are you doing? And I was like, Oh, I'm recording the podcast. I'd love to be at Ross.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I just can't stand. I hate, I hate clothes shopping. And when I actually when I started dating Tom, he would pick me up clothes all the time. Because I I don't care. I literally would have I don't. If you go in my closet right now, he has a ton of stuff and I have the small side. We are the opposite of probably every other family on earth. My section is very small, and his section's packed full of clothes. You can also wear scrubs to work. Well, yeah, now I can, but even if I didn't, you're getting the same stuff over and over where I'm not, I do not care. I'm coming to work. You've seen me all the time. I'm not here to impress you. Don't care. So I will, I don't have like this variety. And I hate shopping. And I even had told him, I said he brought me some, bought me a couple pairs of jeans. I remember when we were dating. And I'm like, I don't know what it is, but when you shop for me, I'm like, they fit perfect. I go if I go shopping, I swear to God, you just you would see how ridiculous they look on it.
SPEAKER_00:People care so much about what size two, though. Like, buy what fits you. I don't care if it's a 30 size 28 or a size eight. Like, I don't, I will buy it. I don't care if it says medium or if it says 5XL. I don't care either.
SPEAKER_01:But they I made him even come with me because he told me I was screwed up. And I said, seriously, I'm gonna go to, we're gonna go to a place. You pick the place and I'll go put all this stuff on. And I was putting him on. He's like, Oh my god. I'm like, then I'd put CD, what the hell? You know, I mean, he was like, What is going on? I said, This is why I don't go shopping. It all looks like shit on me.
SPEAKER_00:You're just picking out the wrong things. But I can even see I have, you know, people I know that are they are like appalled if they have to wear a large. Like, nobody cares. Like, you want a dress to fit, but my daughter is gonna be the freaking worst because she's like, You bought me a medium. Oh, yeah, bitch, I did. Like I held it up to a small and they're the same damn size. So who cares what the tag says? Like, there have been times when like you have to cut the size out of whatever it is because she won't put it on. But I'm telling you, she got a Halloween dress, and this thing would fit a baby doll. Like, She needs two sizes bigger. She's going to throw a fit. It will be a thing because we bought a 10 and like I pulled it out of the bag and I was like, what the like this? What? Yeah. Sorry, honey. Not not happening. Yeah. Not happening. But she'll have a meltdown. So I'll have to like cut out a tag or whatever.
SPEAKER_01:Freaking crazy. Now see, I don't really, I could care less about what size it is. I just nothing, things just don't fit me right. And and it just, and then if you put certain things on me, I look like I'm pregnant. Like seriously, like I'm pregnant. Like it, the way it goes or forms around my body, it just doesn't set right. So then I have to ask other women, okay, okay, why do I put this dress on and I look like I'm nine months pregnant? And this girl over here puts the dress on and she looks adorable. And it's even it could be the same exact size, we're similar size people. I'm just shit, this does not look the same on me.
SPEAKER_00:No. I have the problem with my apron belly because two C sections and lost weight and gained weight and lost weight. And like it drives me batshit. And um, you know, I see people with you know bellies bigger than mine and they're wearing crop tops, and it just I gotta find, I gotta find my own competence and whatever, whatever that, you know, yes looks like which is why I think it's important.
SPEAKER_01:I think like what we've said, you know, everybody needs to go through your closet and see what you really need and see where your goals are and that you're comfortable, you know, decluttering, getting some things in order. Prepping food is like one of the things, of course, we're all supposed to do, but some it just that's always it's hard to do sometimes too, you know, keeping that routine. But I think it's about getting everything in a routine. And once you feel like you're empowered that I can make all these different things happen and put in place, I think it does help at least the confidence portion of it.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely, you know.
SPEAKER_01:And I just need to get a personal shopper. I'll feel better about myself.
SPEAKER_00:I'm hired, I'll do it. My mom would love to do it too. Um yeah, for sure. And I think for me, something that I've started, and I think it's it's been the best for me. Well, except for things that I do for this podcast. Let's caveat that. Um, just on Facebook and different things. We've from the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club have joined some um anxiety groups, and some of them give me anxiety. Just just reading the things. Um, but my biggest life hack so far is as unfollow triggers. So if your feed makes you feel anxious or less than, hit that unfollow button. Guilt-free, protect your peace, whether it's a person, a product, a group, whatever it may be, if it gets inside your head in any way or makes you feel anxious, like I said, anxious or less than in any way, unfollow. Stop, stop looking at it, stop. It doesn't matter. You know, there are people that it's like everything they put online, it's just pit their picture perfect life and their picture perfect house and their picture that that's bullshit. Yes. It's bullshit. Yes. Nobody's that happy. Yes. Um, they're not showing the bad part. So, but if it gets in your head at all, unfollow it. There's no need to see it. Don't do that to yourself. No.
SPEAKER_01:And that's and I I think that's the thing about it is I think that there are so many things on the out it in the tips of our fingers that we can sit and look at. And it's very easy to focus in on things like that and think somebody's picture perfect, happy, and well, I'm not that happy, or I don't have as pretty of a smile, I don't have as great a hair, I don't have whatever, and compare everything to each other and start appreciating what God gave you. You know, you are who you are, and and God made you the way you were supposed to be. Take care of yourselves.
SPEAKER_00:For sure. And at the end of the day, anxiety will always try to convince us our worth is tied to how we look. But the truth is, your body is not your enemy. It's your home.
SPEAKER_01:It's carried you through everything the pregnancies, the late nights, the panic attacks, and the healing.
SPEAKER_00:So be gentle with her. And if you're still learning to love your reflection, that's okay. I'm st it's a battle for me every single day. So know that you're not alone in that. Thank you for hanging out with us today on the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club. Don't forget to follow, share, and tag us and join our village on social at the ARMC. We'll be back next week to talk about another messy, beautiful part of motherhood through the lens of anxiety, of course.
SPEAKER_01:Because mom supporting moms is what we do. If no one's told you lately, let me be the one to say it. You're not failing, you're growing. You're not broken, you're becoming, and you're doing better than you think.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks for being here today. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you'd subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another mom who might need to hear this. You can also connect with us on Facebook or TikTok at V A R N C. We'd love to hear your story.
SPEAKER_01:Until next time, give yourself grace, breathe deep, and remember peace is possible.