Holiday Overwhelm, Mom Survival

Holiday magic doesn’t happen by accident—it lands on a mom’s to-do list. We pull back the curtain on the mental load of December: gift lists, schedules, tight budgets, overstimulated kids, and the pressure to make every moment sparkle. Through candid stories (including Santa bags, matching PJs, and an indoor snowball fight that’s equal parts chaos and delight), we sketch a more humane way to get through the season without losing your peace.

We talk about what really helps. Boundaries that protect bedtime and sanity. Budgets that align with your values so January isn’t a regret spiral. Practical planning for meals and hosting that swaps frantic sprints for a calm, prepped oven schedule. Wrapping and gifting strategies that cut the workload while keeping the magic alive—mixing bags and bows, wrapping as items arrive, and auditing mid-December to keep things fair without overdoing it.

We also make room for the tender side of the holidays: grief, complicated family dynamics, and the way old wounds resurface around the tree. Presence beats perfection. We offer ways to honor losses, practice small gratitude rituals, and schedule one act that’s just for mom—because tiny restorations protect your bandwidth more than any perfect tablescape ever will.

Along the way, we share wins, laugh at the mess, and invite you to grow with us by picking up Unfuck Yourself by Gary John Bishop for a little mindset tune-up. Whether you’re an early decorator or a December 24 diehard, you’ll leave with calmer mornings, tighter boundaries, sustainable traditions, and permission to make the season simple and real. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs a softer December, and leave a review to help other moms find the support they deserve.

Transcript

Setting The Holiday Stage

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, season two. I'm Kylie. And I'm Gina. Real moms, real anxiety, real conversations. Let's dive in because chaos is our cardio.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome back to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, season two. I'm Kylie.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

And I'm Gina. And today we're talking about something that brings stress, chaos, tears, and joy all at the same time. The holidays.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

This episode is for the moms whose chest gets tight just thinking about gift lists, travel, budgets, events, and trying to make everything magical while internally spiraling.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Every commercial and every Insta reel is like warm cocoa, fuzzy blankets, perfect family moments.

Traditions, Pajamas, And Real-Life Mess

SPEAKER_00 0:50

I'm just laughing because when we were planning this episode, you're like, I always have to say the warm fuzzy hug me bullshit. And that's just how the cookie grumbles.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

So there we go. Well, I am a little bit more warm and fuzzy, I guess. I'm supposed to be warm cocoa, fuzzy moments. But real life is target returns, kids melting down in public, matching PJs that got lost in shipping. And at my house, we all wear pajamas for Christmas. So the in if you come to my house, I do not like it if you come and you are not in some pajamas. That is so not right.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

So we definitely had to worry about a few years ago, which each family matches. But this year, this year, um, my mom, Nora, and myself, we all got um in our holiday era shirts. They're so cute. Shout out Taylor Slipped again.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Well, once I get mine done, because this year I did something different for my pajamas. So I um went and had my daughter pick up shirts, then I have these things, decals things I'm gonna put on the shirts. So when I do, then I will have you. I will take a picture so you can put it on there and post for us so that we have my Christmas pajamas for the fam. But we're we always do it the same thing. And it once you're out and you have your own family, each family can do their own thing, which is kind of funny because for Halloween, we went to um, we went and ended up walking with our grandkids and with Casey and Danielle. And when we did, you know, they were all dressed up and this year we didn't. And um, I even normally for if I was working on that day, which I did take the day off, I nor a lot of times would dress up for Halloween when I went out, and I always enjoyed doing that. So um, and then I would go around with the kids. So I we were talking about it, and he was like, you know what we need to do next year? The whole family has to come over here dressed up, and we're gonna do superheroes, and everybody can do with whatever they want, you know, for superheroes, but we're all dressing up for superheroes. So I'm like, I'm kind of excited. I do like to dress up for Halloween, but Halloween is really not my thing, but dressing up is.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

We we just had um that conversation at work too, because it is my CEO's favorite day of the year. And so we were talking about what everybody was dressing up as and um talking about the kids. And I said, Well, we're in that phase where why it's too cool. Um, and he said, Isn't it funny that it's like the greatest thing in the world, and then you're too cool for a minute, but then as adults it gets fun again. Yes. Um, and we went over to my brother and sister-in-law's, um, my older brother, and they had um, I think what did I text you? Like 1300 trick-or-treaters like at 7:30 at night. Like it was freaking insane, but it was so cool. It was so cool. Like they shut down the neighborhood. Yep. Um, you see people you haven't seen in years, and it was it was a really good time.

Halloween To Holiday Mode

SPEAKER_01 3:33

So well, and see when our kids that see in our neighborhood, I feel like a lot of the kids have grown up a lot. So we have still a decent amount of kids that go there, but not near as many. And um, I loved it because the kids would go out and I'd be like, now you know it'll go down, and that called the set because they'll feed you a hot dog, and the neighbors next to them give you like a Mountain Dew or Pepsi. I'm like, you guys eat dinner first and then do the rest of your trick-or-treating so you can get it all done. And so um, Casey's subdivision, they're beginning to get to that point. You know what I mean? They're starting to do more and more stuff like that because I think that's when it's kind of fun when you have trustworthy people around you that you can do that and make it a good time and then dress up. But I did have one time I was dressed up as a, I think I was a clown, and I was walking with the kids and the kids went up to the house, and that's when they told me they said no fucking place. I was a cute clown to shut up. But I was still playing. I was too cute of a clown because all of a sudden they're like, Honey, you can come up here and get some candy. Why don't you it it's okay, don't be shy. And I started laughing at my 40. I'm like, oh excuse me, sir. It was funny. And then one time I was dressed as a witch and I put the big old nose and everything on, and I went to a doctor's office, and he is one I was at every single week, and he could not figure out who I was. So I love that kind of stuff. That's what's fun to me.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Okay, so we have October 31st happened. Right. It's we're done. And then November 1st. So I saw, okay, so yeah, she's like, then we have Thanksgiving. No, no, Christmas trees up. That's right. So I did see I'm working on that. I did see a meme, and I I'm it's it's my new like motto motto to the whole thing. Thanksgiving is a day, which is true. Thanksgiving is one day. Christmas is a season, and we are in the season of Christmas. And along with that comes a lot of stress for the mom. For the mom. I know um, I think it was last week Gina mentioned being the the mom or the the the silent person behind everything. Like sometimes, you know, Gina puts it all together, but then Papa gets the credit. Yep. And that happens a lot. That happens a lot. So let's talk about the mental load and the mental stress that it puts on us anxious moms to get through these holidays. Starting now, starting now, and the Christmas lists are coming and what we're gonna get everybody and how we're gonna make this the most magical time of year for everyone in our lives, and how we're trying to make everything perfect when our cups are empty.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Yes, yes. I do think though, you know what though, since COVID happened, is when I feel like the November 1st thing started. Because you know, before everybody's saying can't we? It's the truth because before that it was always like, Oh my god, you're getting your Christmas stuff up before can't we just have Thanksgiving? Let's at least enjoy. I've always been an early decorator. Oh, yeah. Well, then you're one of the weirdos. But the rest of them, everybody else always. It was you had to have Thanksgiving, and then you put your Christmas tree up, then you had it for an entire the whole rest of the time, and then you took it all down after right after New Year's. So that was like the norm. Vast majority of people did that. COVID hit, and I think everybody got so depressed, and so everybody was like, fuck it, put the damn tree up. And they got happy.

Early Decorating And Emotional Weight

SPEAKER_00 6:46

That's exactly what my boss said. And then she's younger, and it does. That's what she said. I always was like, Nope, nope, we get through Thanksgiving. I put my she's like, and then COVID happened, and I was my apartment was so bare, and she's like, I just did it. And she's like, so now I do it early. Um who doesn't love like happy Christmas music? And I am one of the weirdos though, because I I'm November 1st, like, and then I'm taking my sweet time this year, but then like December 26th. Yeah, I was gonna say, um, I don't see how to see all your shit up. It's not. I know we talked about that before. Like, I would get and I just I can't get I can't get motivated. I cannot get motivated this year, and I don't know why. Um my sister-in-law and I always text back and forth, and she's like, um, you were right, she added a color to her Christmas tree because we are, you know, we're the we're the themed people. And I was like, oh my God, it looks so good. But why are the jack-o'-lanterns looking at it like that? She was like, fuck you. And I was like, I know, I'm not judging because it looks, I told you, I was like, you have to enter with your eyes closed today because there's Christmas in the living room and there's fall in the kitchen, and everything's thrown up everywhere. And yeah. Um, but we'll get there. But then I think for me, um, at like post-divorce, so it's really, really hard. We do my we do my mom and dad's on Christmas Eve, like specifically for Christmas. We do my mom and dad's on Christmas Eve. And then Christmas Day, we wake up, Santa came, and we open all of those stuff, and then they go to their dads. And so for me, I don't even really celebrate Christmas all freaking day. Like once I my kids leave and they go, then it's then I'm like, all right, time to say, like I really go to that place where I want to take my tree down and move on. Like it's so sad.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

See, I don't I like we've done that, it's how it's always been for us. We always had Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, they woke up, they opened up whatever, and we had to rush them out. So it's a rush, rush, rush and get them out the door. And then um, so Christmas Day, we didn't have anything to do because we celebrate with both our families on Christmas Eve. So that is it. Christmas Day we lounge. So the only thing now be with the kids being older, we have where they all come over and we do spend um like they open up their own gifts that they want to in the morning when they get up. So especially with my grandkids, and then they head to my house. I think they're probably gonna around 10 or something. Then we have breakfast and we hang out, we open up the rest of our presents, and then they leave to go to the other sides of their families. But I mean, for us, it's like a lazy, lazy day. So the kids, anyways, the kids they come and they, you know, we spend our time with them, but the rest of the day we like eat some leftovers. I don't have any desire to take my tree down because I almost kind of like keep it not really lit in the house for the whole day. And I just love having a tree on, and I just snuggle up on the couch, watch TV, eat the rest of the food to make me gain more from Christmas. And I think it's a great day. And then I I really have no desire to take my stuff down until after New Year's. And we usually try to see if the kids want to come over on New Year's Day, and then we take it all down because we don't put our tree up until no matter what, like I'm right now working towards I'm gonna get all my decorations in the house up, but on Christmas, on not Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving Day, we all kind of anybody can go to my sister-in-law's goes, whoever can't can't, we kind of do whatever. On Saturday, all the kids come over to my house, our tree goes up. So I need we need help with all that, and it goes much smoother when you have a gangbuster of people, but let's try to do it. There you go. So New Year's Day, we kind of do the same thing. I feed you, we enjoy time together, and you take my tree down.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

So it works out good.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

See, but I'm one of those OCD people and I like control, so I don't even want anybody to help me with my Christmas tree because then the shit won't be placed exactly like I like it.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

I'm gonna, I'm gonna see, like I've told you I'm OCD about a bunch of shit, but I'm not about that. Because I'm like, I don't, whatever, just get it away. I don't break my shit. Don't like put it in some weird new place or something. I mean, I have boxes for where things go. I mean, you should, I mean, use your brain, but like other than that, like I'm not like, I really don't care. Just let's get it down and out, and I'm happy.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

So do most moms even enjoy the holidays or do they project manage them like like us? You know, we're the ones buying the gifts, coordinating schedules, remembering teacher gifts, planning, cooking, um, you know, trying to keep the kids from overstimulation, meltdowns, get enough sleep, go to bed so Santa can come. Like the pressure to make it magical isn't light. It is it's heavy. It's heavy, and how you know we manage everything.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

I think we manage everybody's all the different family personalities. Um I just think it's a lot. It's it's even bigger than just simply do we have I mean, first I was even thinking this year I'm wrapping gifts already now because I start getting stuff and just as it comes, if it comes in the door, I wrap it. Wait, hold the fucking phone.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

You don't even like to shop. So when you wrap click, click, click when it shows up at my door.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

Okay, do people and then we'll tell you what they want. Who do you buy for? Do you buy it?

Project Managing Christmas

SPEAKER_01 11:46

I can't get anybody to tell me anything that they want. I like I've even begged Kylie. I said, Kylie, I'd really, really, really appreciate if this year, this was like at the beginning of October, could you please by the end of this month tell me what the hell you want? I'm like, I have your birthday in the middle of the month and the end of November, and then I have Christmas. Please tell me what you want. I still am not told what she wants. And when I'm like, please, what do you want? I cannot get it out of her save my life. So I end up buying a few little things here and there that I kind of kind of get the feeling she probably either needs or maybe, you know, or she's, you know, like, let's say there's perfume and she's running out of it. I'll go buy it. Like, I kind of check out some of her stuff and then I wait, and she's usually my last, and so she drives me kind of nuts. The other ones with the grandkids, same thing. It's kind of like, well, I mean, you know, they, you know, they're like this. And Levi, if he puts a TV on, I want that. I want that. I want that. He wants everything. So it's like, okay, I can pretty much buy you anything. You have your fesy ones and my easy ones, tough ones, too. And they're it's hard. And that's what I'm worried about too, even more. Like as the grandkids especially get older, then it gets harder and harder and harder. Like, what are they really into? Because when you're not sitting with them seriously, truly in the home every single day, you they one they can one day love Spider-Man and the next day it's the Hulk, and you have no clue. It just changed because like you saw them a few days back and then the change made, and now it's another few days for you. You know what I'm saying? It can change so quickly. They'll be like, oh no, Spider-Man's like old note news. What are you talking about? You know what I mean? Like, you just don't know. So it is kind of hard. But I do a lot of um, I do enjoy TikTok for some of it because I'll be like, oh, that thing's pretty damn cool and click. I'll see. I'll like go on different stores that I know that are good that I like or something or that have been reliable in the past. I really try very hard anymore that I don't do any shopping at any store if I can get away with it. And if I do, it better be a store I can run in and run out. But anything that shows up in my door, or if I did go to the store, the day it comes in is the day I prefer to wrap it. That way I just wrap as I go. And then what I will have to do is then then I put them in a place where I keep them all hidden, and then I have to pull them all out, like usually around the second week of December, and I make sure everything I've got, and then do I need to bulk somebody up? Did I get too hot and heavy on one person and not another? You know what I mean? And I kind of try to make sure I've even my shit up and I throw it all back in the club.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

But that alone is that alone is stressful.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

It is stressful.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Everything is so freaking stressful. And I don't know. I guess I think for me it's weighing super heavily on me this year because last year was the worst time of my life. Like, shout out to a corporation that I worked for for, you know, seven, eight years. Um, and seven at the mom and pop that it bought out previously, but put me on um administrative leave in December. Um, and it was fucking torture. It was torture and it was the worst part of my life, and I did not enjoy the holidays. And so this year I almost have this added pressure of like, it's gonna be fucking perfect because we have a job and everyone has a job, and we're gonna love each other, we're gonna fucking open our presents and everybody's gonna love them and we're all gonna sit around and act like we like each other. Okay. And then my daughter mumbles under her breath, like, I hope Santa actually gets me something I like this year. And I sat there and I was like, and I know she didn't mean like, well, she better not have fucking meant it because Santa bought whatever was on her freaking list, but like I can even see it with my with my mom. She'll buy shit and then she'll be like, oh, I don't know if they're gonna like this, and then she'll be returning that shit and buying more shit because like the pressure that is on us as the for the most, okay, in in my situations anyway, it's it's the women of the family that, you know, the men just get to show up and we have to not only budget, buy it, wrap it, present it, and then you get the oh thank you, Papa.

Lists, Wrapping, And Mental Load

SPEAKER_01 15:34

Oh, yes. Yeah, I will say I've done different things in different years to make my life easier. I had done some years, a couple years where I was like, I'm not wrapping anything from um good old Santa. He's gonna put a bow on it. Or um I have done have a meltdown. Right. Or then I went to the bags. So they all the only thing that you if you knew it was from Santa because it was in a one of those bags, it was super easy. Zoop and it's done. Like Santa's bag. Like Santa's bag. Um, and so and now I just do a mix and match of all that. I wrap some and I bag some of it because I want to make it, because it looks pretty when you do that anyways. So, like before it was seriously, if it came from Christmas, if it was coming from Santa Claus, it went in a bag. If it came from me, it got wrapped. Because the Christmas Eve when we're all together as a family, they're gonna be wrapped. Well, I don't, we're gonna do have Santa Claus give you the same wrap and paper, and I'm not gonna go out and be like, okay, now is that Santa wrap and paper? Oh, that's it. So I don't want to do it. So I just like I made my life, and then when I just have to throw it in a bag, my life became so much easier. And they have these nicer bags now, even of where they just draw string closed and then you can um put it into a bow. Oh my God, it's the greatest thing ever.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

I'm loving it. I will never forget ever. And I am divorced, and I'm I'm gonna say this because I feel like I do a very good job of not talking trash on my ex. That is not what I'm here for, that's not what I'm about. However, I will never forget the year that I am rolling around in the garage with a fucking train table trying to figure out how to put this fucking 800 piece together train because I I had this vision that it was this train table and it was gonna have a bow and the track was gonna be put together. And this motherfucker is passed out on the couch, and I'm rolling around in the garage at 3 a.m. trying to put a train track together, and I'm not good at that kind of stuff. Well, and that's why I think it scarred me. I'm so scarred. I'm so bitter and I'm so scarred.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

And I think that's why I like see, I used to take and be like, you know, if you got like um something you can roll, like let's say it's an outfit even or shirt, you know, something you can roll up more like to like a log, then I would wrap that to where it would be like look like candy cane. So it'd be like, you know, you'd scrunch it at both ends and you tie the little pretty bowl on the other sides, or you do saran wrap around the you do paper and then you do a saran wrap around that and make it prettier. I used to put all sorts of effort into it. And then I realized I was making myself absolutely miserable, so it might be really pretty, but I'm absolutely freaking miserable trying to get all this stuff done in the amount of time that you have and trying to make the wrapping look as pretty. And to be honest with you, they rip it the same damn way, anyways. And that's when the bag showed up. I mean, and the bags I have now, I think, anyways, are even nicer than what it used to be.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

I don't know though, but there's some nostalgia for me for them to rip shit open on crazy.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Well, that's why you have to wrap some. I wrap some of it so they do that. You wrap it and then put it in the bag? No, no, no, no. I still wrap have some that's in wrapping paper. Here's these items, and these are wrapped in wrapping paper. I thought you just put it on. But these are still like they still have to in a bag. You still have to kind of like undo the whole thing, open it, rip open the bag and take it out. You know what I'm saying? So you still are opening a package, but it's like I just that's what I like about the things that they have now better. And I don't do as many of those as I do for rapping. I still rap more than I do that, but I just I'm like, I need some, at least a little bit of relief for myself. That is I'm trying to make everybody else so happy and perfect, I'm like beating myself up. So, where can I make it a little bit less stressful?

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Yes, and I think my tip there will be when they're too young to know, don't stress yourself out because they won't remember. So when they're a baby, when they're one, you know, it gets fun when they're old enough to sit up on their own and tear shit open and they truly enjoy things, but like don't, don't, just don't. Just say no to stressing yourself out about the baby babies. They don't know any different. Now, with that being said, you have to put, if they have a sibling, you have to put some effort because then they'll be like, well, why did Santa bring me all this shit and not the baby? So like it's all a game. It is all a very, very stressful, stressful game that is placed on the mother's shoulders to figure it out and make sure everyone's having fun.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yes. And then you have to plan the meals and the people coming to your house, or maybe you're bringing something to somebody else's house, and then you have to decide, you know, is is you know, Uncle Ronnie gonna be acting normal this year, is, you know, you know, I don't know. Or did he have too much eggnog and he's getting crazy? Everybody always has just like, you know, some of you start talking about things that you don't want to have talked about. I mean, all that stuff is, you know, you want to have a really good time and before you're gonna be able to do it. Don't talk about politics, don't talk about money, don't talk about realistic.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

I mean, I'm pretty sure it was like two Christmas ago, I had a brother call me a bitch and I left crying.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Like, there's a whole Yes, and that's just what and that's the sad part about holidays a lot of times, is like you can't wait to do everything perfect and make it beautiful, and then people get together and then they end up miserable, and you're like, I just went to get together the worst day of our lives. So I do think it's one of those things that we have to be conscious of.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

I'm sure I was being a bitch too. I will go back and say, I'm sure it was warranted, I'm sure I did something. But you know what? Looking back, I think that was the last Christmas we had with my grandma and my grandpa because we lost them the same, you know, the same year, the year after. So none of it at the end of the day, that's the biggest takeaway, is none of that shit matters.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Just enjoy the And I I think that's the thing about it is that sometimes we should realize that truly life can be cut short and we have to be conscious of that. And as much as um we can all get on each other's nerves at times, I think that the holidays we could at least try to reserve ourselves to shut the fuck up and enjoy the holiday.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

We know I have a problem with that because you know what? We we we've talked about when we talked about in-laws that you know, we have an entire episode on managing different family personalities, so we don't have to dive deep dive into that again. But um you definitely have to navigate the aunt who judges everything and the stress we put on ourselves, like, do they like it? Do they like what they they just opened? Like, is the food good? Um, so let's talk about some coping tools to try to survive the the personalities and the holidays without losing our peace.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Uh okay. So, I mean maybe let's not make everything perfect. Um, I think we gotta prioritize for sure. So I think you should definitely have calm mornings, intentional family time. Um watch your budget for the holiday. I think that's important.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Don't put yourself in debt that you have to deal with for the next six months over one day.

Perfection Pressure And Past Hurts

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Which I'm gonna be honest with you. I have a really hard time with it. That's probably where I have a really hard time. Very, very hard time. I'm I try every year to get a little bit better. I'm very I love a kid to smile and be happy. Like it is like just makes me so happy that then I just want to throw that much more at you. And that's my mom.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

But again, I can already see putting so much pressure on yourself.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

It's stressing out to where you're almost hate the holiday. So budgeting is extremely important for your mental health on top of your budget, either way. And um, no rushing around, which I can say, those are things too that I try to work on really well is that I have um I'm really good about like even if you're cooking or doing things, like I schedule out my times of exactly when I would have something done that has to be put in the oven. So like if anything I can make the night before, then keep it cold in the fridge. And that way, what time would I just throw it in the oven? And then so I have really made it so it's very low-key. So like we even when I make Thanksgiving on Saturday, it's so easy. Like it's just so easy. And I see so many people like stressed out over making Thanksgiving meals. And for me, it's just not that way. I plan. So I think planning so that you're not rushing, because if you don't plan it, you're gonna rush around and then you just become miserable. So I think that's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 23:20

For sure. And don't be afraid to um communicate boundaries, set boundaries, especially if you're moms of littles. Um, you know, if you need to leave by a certain time to keep bedtime sane, do it. Um, if you need to eliminate or coordinate better times, you know, we're we're not making three stops this year. We can't. We we need to do one, we need to spread it out. Like set some boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

And I think it's unfair for a lot of people that they make it out to be that, especially Thanksgiving becomes the worst, I think of that. So I've got to go to this person's house and I gotta be there at 11. And then I gotta go to the next person's house and I gotta be there by 2:30 or something, at least at the latest, because then I gotta get to the next person's house. And I mean, that's why I've told my kids, I'm like, depending on what you have going on, that's why I started the Saturday Thanksgiving for us all to get together. Because if for some reason somebody can't go to my sister-in-law's house, I don't would not, I would rather they enjoy some other Thanksgiving. And if they can't go that year, then they can't go. They try to go as many years as they can, but there's been times that sometimes they can't.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

So we just make up for it another day. I just think that there's it's hard on families to do that.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Yes. And insert downtime on purpose. Holiday burnout is real. Um, no, you know, and it doesn't equal no magic memories. Schedule, schedule nothing time, schedule time to sit and look at your Christmas tree because it'll be down in a in a in a day if it's me or a few weeks if it's Gina. But schedule downtime. Like we like to be controlling, we like to have schedules, so put some new time on the calendar.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Yep. I think even keeping the tradition simple is important. Um now I just think like making tradition sustainable is important. Um, we've even talked about the pajamas, matching pajamas. And you know, some people could say that that's stressful or or not, but to me it's not because you know why I can eat more. I'm more comfortable. Oh, hell yeah. It's already planned. It's already planned. And if you do it in if you do it right away and you find pajamas like during the month of November, you're golden anyways. Yes. So, but I just think simple things. I think that's why I wanted to do pajamas and make sure that we just have some basic. Oh, we always have Santa comes every year. I love me having oh, and we also do a snowball fight, an indoor snowball fight at my house after Santa Lee.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

We have Santa, what?

SPEAKER_01 25:31

We have Santa coming to my house.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

Oh, like an actual Santa?

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Yeah. Every year we have Santa coming together.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

Today is it a fucking telegram? Like, give me some more information here. I need some more info.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

Well, there's always people you can hire to do Santa's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

But for you, family members are.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Yeah, and we've and I've had Santa since I was a kid. My mom had Santa since she was a kid. Like it's been tradition forever and ever and ever. Santa comes and it is the best time of our lives. But you know what?

SPEAKER_00 25:55

I have two brothers, and it's about time one of them starts stepping up in the city.

Santa Bags, Wrapping Hacks, And Sanity

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Uh yeah, Santa makes the world a difference. Like, come on. That makes the world a difference to have Santa comes. And and it's so it's so nice because seriously, like kids look forward to coming to our house because they're like, we're gonna see Santa. And then they get like the but they're almost there, they like the indoor snowball fight almost more. Okay, so what is that? So my mom actually made them, but I think you can, I'm sure you can buy them. But they're like a good size, like soft, squishy, looks like kind of like a snowball. But they're they gotta be heavy enough that you can throw them, whip them at somebody. So they're like just the right perfect. Where do you get them? I just told you my mom makes them for me. But like you were kidding, but it's like no, seriously, but but make them out of what? Like she makes them out of like a soft cloth and she stuffs them with something and they just they're balls. And so now she did add maybe we can put some on our edge. She added a brown one and a yellow one recently. She's like, Well, you know, they're always dogs shit and piss in your snow. So we have that added to it. But I know that there's plate, I know you can buy them now. It used to not be a big thing, it's became bigger, so I know you can buy them, but we literally we have a set thing. So as soon as Santa leaves, we all scream and yell, and we're all excited, and he leaves. And I immediately grab the snowball and I have my husband grab the first ball and he throws the first one. And then we just start chucking them at the kids, and then they start grabbing them and throwing them.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

How does shit not get broke? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Because they're because they're not heavy enough to really it's awesome. And the kids have the best it is so great for the kids. It's so much fun for the kids. And it is the one time that they can chuck a snowball at their parents or at their grandparents because they're not gonna hurt anybody. And but yet you're gonna be able to get it. You haven't seen my little fucking nephew. Oh, we chuck it at each other. They would have the time of their life, but I only let it go on for 10 minutes. Everything has to be a you gotta look at it this way. It's a novelty, so it's one of those things, it's the time that they can do it, right? So Santa just came, they got all of their gifts, they're all happy. They also know immediately when Santa leaves, it's game on. So then we go crazy and then you start sweating. It doesn't take long for you're like sweating when these kids start coming at you because they are coming at you. And then um, and I've had them corner me in the corner where I'm saying, you better get your damn kids away from me because they are just cornering me. But then as soon as then I get to the point where you can kind of tell like certain people have already like got dropped out, and it doesn't take long. It's like within about 10 minutes, I think longest we were probably calling 10, 15 minutes or something. And then I just start saying, Okay, we gotta start collecting them. So I start collecting them, putting back in this box that I have, and then their kids start helping me. As you always have a couple, you know, they throw a little few at the end and then it's done. And then it's soon after that that people start kind of packing up and leaving the house, but it is seriously makes it like the best time. And it's simple, it's easy, and it is memorable. And it is something that seriously the kids they come to my house and they're like, Oh, I cannot wait it to get you, and we have that snowball fight later. Like, it's like a big deal. That sounds fun. You're gonna have to um hook me up with some snowballs, I think. And if what I'll have to do is I'm gonna have to even see if I can find or you can people could buy them and we can we'll post something about it. Cause I'll try to see if I can find some.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yes. I wanna I wanna do that. Okay. And then I want to talk about a not fun, a not fun one here. Um let yourself grieve and let yours yourself feel. So holidays bring old wounds, they bring grief. It doesn't mean you're broken, it means you're human. Um and this one hits hard for me because my Christmas list, um, you know, this is my my second Christmas without my grandma and grandpa, and I I mentioned that we had, you know, we had them and then they we lost them both um the following year. And like, that's hard. I can picture pictures that I have of them, you know. Um, it was my mom's mom and then my dad's dad, and I have pictures of them sitting, you know, relatively close on Christmas, and like that that sucks. And then when I, you know, like I said, my my Christmas list is a little bit smaller. Than than it has been. So if you need to take some time to feel your feels, like do that too. Whatever you need, whatever you need, because we want you to take care of you.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Yes. And I think that's even important during the whole rushing thing that we talked about. Sometimes during that, you can plan some of that time to be, I'm going to take my time during that day for the fact that maybe there are people that we are grieving over at the same time that we that we miss terribly. That made holidays such a wonderful time of year to get together and enjoy.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

In this holiday season, do at least one thing just for mom. A Starbucks run alone, a solo grocery shop, a holiday manicure, something that reconnects you back to you. Okay. I know we've talked about a lot. Um and before we wrap this up, since Thanksgiving is this week, we just want to pause and say what we're thankful for this year. Because it's so easy to be in survival mode that we never actually name the good stuff.

Boundaries, Budgets, And Planning

SPEAKER_01 31:04

Right. We're constantly juggling the stress, the lists, the expectations, but there's still goodness sitting under all that noise.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

So I'll start. This year I am thankful for the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club. This podcast, this village, this community, um, getting closer to you, Gina. Um, there have been so many parts of this journey. Um, and we're just, you know, five months in at this point, and I've learned a lot about myself. I feel like I've grown as a person. I've grown as a mom. Um, I've grown as an entrepreneur. Um and I feel like I'm genuinely becoming the person that I want to be. And I I love that. And I attribute a lot of that to um you, this podcast, this, like I said, this community, the support, um, all of those things. So I know everybody probably knew what I was going to say. Um, but it's not some sales pitch. It's not some bullshit. It's that I'm truly freaking great, grateful for this journey. Okay. And now you can't be an asshole here. I'm sorry. I didn't see that one up for you very well.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Okay, so mic drop. I can't exactly say so ditto. But you can.

SPEAKER_00 32:37

I'm also thankful for your laugh because it gets me through a lot of hard days.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Oh, okay. So let's see. Um, I am thankful for, obviously, I am thankful for this podcast, this community, things that you and I are learning together. Um, you challenge me at different times too to have to like, I have to like learn shit I didn't want to learn. She has to make videos doing her hair. Yeah, this is stuff that I would never ever have done. Um, so some of the TikToks that we've done, trust me, I would have never ever done them. But I will say that they've been a lot of fun. Um, I enjoyed it way more than I thought. I totally understand why people do them. And the more that you do them, and I swear to God, people should be doing them just for fun. Like when you truly are like, what are we gonna do? And I'm bored. And I TikToks, it's embarrassing. Instead of thinking about who's gonna see the damn thing, really just doing them is so funny. It's just so funny. So you have definitely done that for me by make getting me out of my comfort zone. There you go. Very much so. Um, the other thing I am thankful for is for sure all of our listeners, but on top of that, I am just thankful to um have my whole family have good friends and um get to spread some hopefully good things that can help others. It makes me feel happy about this year. And I'm looking forward to this podcast in general too, is challenging me for I'm gonna start reading some books.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Yes. And I'm like, Hey, if you guys so this is so funny because a couple, I mean, when we were first starting, and and still to this day, I mean, we are, and that's something that I love about us is that we are constantly challenging each other um to be better. Um, and so Gina and I a few weeks ago listened or joined a podcast like class. Um, just we want to be better. We want to be the best versions of ourselves, but we wanna, we want you guys to be look forward to us every week and feel like you're a part of us and you're along with us. But anyway, when we bounce ideas off of each other and go on and on, I said, you know, we could read, we could read books and like have a virtual like book club sort of. And she was like, no, I don't fucking read. And then today at my house, she's like, my daughter-in-law has the book um that we're gonna read. And so that book is called Unfuck Yourself. So it's by Gary John Bishop, and we have not read it. Nope. It was the title, obviously, that drew us in. Um, but it's called Unfuck Yourself, and we're gonna start reading that very, very soon. So pick up the book and read it along with us. As much as she made fun of my book club idea, I think it's I probably will do some reading, you know.

SPEAKER_01 35:27

We will probably share some, but whatever the hell I read, she's being forced to read too. Yeah. Because I want to make sure at least it's something that we can maybe both give our perspectives on. I can't tell you that we're gonna have, you know, like um a book, uh regular true monthly book club, but you never know. It could, it could not, depends, but we at least will have some book moments and be able to talk to you guys about some of that stuff. I think it would be kind of cool. Um, so I really do like that it's it's it's pushing us outside of it. And I did like the title because since we did share with you guys about the fuck'em theory, of course, I have to write read the book, Unfuck Yourself. It only makes sense. It just only makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

For sure. We invite you listening, do the same. Tell us what you're thankful for and tell us if you're gonna pick up this book. So maybe we say it out loud in the car right now, maybe we text a friend, maybe write it in your notes app, but let us know what you're thankful for this holiday season.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

And here's the truth gratitude doesn't erase the chaos, it just helps us anchor back into what matters when everything feels like a whirlwind.

Simple Traditions That Actually Stick

SPEAKER_00 36:30

So if the holidays are loud, messy, overstimulating, we get it. But you're doing better than you think.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Happy Thanksgiving week. We love you guys. We see you, and we're sending you calm, grounding energy as you navigate this holiday season. We'll talk to you next week. If no one's told you lately, let me be the one to say it. You're not failing, you're growing, you're not broken, you're becoming, and you're doing better than you think.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Thanks for being here today. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you'd subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another mom who might need to hear this. You can also connect with us on Facebook or TikTok at the ARMC. We'd love to hear your story.

SPEAKER_01 37:11

Until next time, give yourself grace, breathe deep, and remember peace is possible.