Future You, Built Today

We explore how to build a kind, practical relationship with future you through micro moves, honest boundaries and work-life choices that protect your peace. Messy seasons, career shifts and holiday pressure all meet clear tools that reduce anxiety and increase agency.

• choosing direction over fixed timelines
• micro moves that compound into stability
• boundaries without guilt or overexplaining
• leaving toxic jobs and environments
• balancing security with wellbeing
• language shifts that lower anxiety
• tiny safety nets and five-minute resets
• redefining success, service and happiness
• friendship and teamwork in partnerships
• holiday overwhelm, presence and compassion

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you'd subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another mom who might need to hear this
You can also connect with us on Facebook or TikTok at V A R M C. We'd love to hear your story

Transcript

Meet Your Future Self

SPEAKER_02 0:00

You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, Season 2. I'm Kylie. And I'm Gina. Real moms, real anxiety, real conversations. Let's dive in because chaos is our cardio.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Okay, today we're talking about someone you see every day, but you've never officially met. Your future self. She's somewhere out there, probably hydrated, probably journaling, probably reading, probably not crying in the Target parking lot. Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

And the way we treat her, talk about her, avoid her, plan for her, it all matters. Because our future self is basically the version of us who had the audacity to keep going, even when anxiety was screaming in the background.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

What does a relationship with your future self even mean? I used to hear that phrase and roll my eyes. Like, babe, I'm just trying to figure out what we're having for dinner tonight. Why are we worried about 2030, Kylie?

From Eye Rolls To Compassion

SPEAKER_02 1:02

But it's not about the year. It's about the direction. It's holding space for the idea that who you'll be six months from now or a year from now is built by tiny decisions today, not giant transformations.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

And the secret is having a relationship with your future self gives you compassion for your current self. Instead of beating yourself up for not being there yet, you get to root for her. Cheer her on. Definitely. She's gonna be a badass.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Because anxiety really does love to jump like 10 miles ahead. Imagine the worst case scenario. Always. Anxiety is like your future self. Yeah, she's probably crying broke and living in a van down by the river. A box.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

A box because we can't afford a van. We're living in a box down by the river. Oh, this one, I tell you. Meanwhile, our future self is actually out there like, girl, relax. I'm literally fine. This is where we mess up. We try to survive our anxiety, not support our future selves.

Direction Over Deadlines

SPEAKER_02 2:07

So, how do we build a healthy relationship with our future self? Like that's kind of important, right? So you gotta really like zoom out, not forward. You zoom out. So instead of, you know, where am I gonna be in five years? Which I honestly hate that question more than anything. And they always want to ask that in a freaking interview. I was just gonna say that was always one of my interview questions. I hate like where would you like to be in five years? Uh I don't know, employed paying my bills. That's why I'm here. Step one. Um, but you should really ask what direction do I actually want to move toward? I think that's and that honestly, so for anyone doing interviews, stop asking the five-year question and truly ask what direction that those people are wanting to go. You'll actually learn more out of that person, anyways. And maybe it'll help people figure that out.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Yeah, make micro moves, not massive leaps. One glass of water, one boundary, one minute of breathing. Future you loves this.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

Uh yeah, I think for sure. And then you talk to her intentionally. Ask her, you know, what do you need from me today? My future self usually says, do not say yes to that thing you already know you'll regret.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Mm-hmm. Setting healthy boundaries. We've talked about that. Yes, definitely. Not keeping up with the Joneses. We've talked about that. Um for that next cigarette. Yeah. Don't talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

We've talked about that.

Micro Moves And Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 3:34

You'll know you'll regret all these things. Even when it's hard. And it's it is hard. Yep. Let's talk a minute about getting out of, you know, toxic environments. I saw somebody say recently, like, you can tell who's completely content with them themselves and their lives based on how quickly they exit a bad situation. Like if things are getting dramatic, they leave or they stay quiet. We've talked about the power of silence sometimes that you don't always have to say what's on your mind. But I feel like there are so many of us that are just living, like we get so caught up. And even like in our relationships and things, we get to the point where we're just going through the motions and not, you know, making sure that we're living every day and every moment intentionally and not just going through the motions. And if you're in a toxic situation, whether that's at work or in a relationship, like make your make your plan to get out. Don't just keep going through the motions and doing what you have to do. Because yeah, we need health insurance and we need to pay the bills and we need, we need to do all of the things, but we so quickly get stuck in um these toxic environments or these toxic places that we don't, I don't know, is it that we don't feel like we have the power to get out of or change? I think that's the biggest thing for me is like if if you're in a situation that you don't like or it doesn't feel right, or like it's okay to leave, to move. You're not a tree.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

You have the ability to well, I think, okay, just like the word change, a lot of people become paralyzed from that. Just the word, let's change this. What? You want to change what? I want to, I want to change your the color of the walls. Well, what are you changing that to? I don't I don't know if I'm gonna like that color. Why would we do that? You know, let's change, let's move to a different house. What? I like this house. I don't want to move from this house. I'm comfortable here. Let's get it, hey, let's get out of this job. You're not happy, but I know what I'm doing here. I'm comfortable here. I don't want to change. And I, you know, the one thing I do try to tell my kids, people who've ever even worked with me for me, anything, change is an empowering thing a lot of times. And sometimes you have to really look at it as that maybe for your future self, changing something could change your life to be better. And some of the scariest things you've ever probably gone through in change, you came out better off in the end. But you're just too anxiety-ridden through the entire time up to that point. But it led you to where you're supposed to be. And I just think that that's where for your future self, I think people need to embrace change, even the word, it's not a bad word. Everybody says, you know, it in work, they'll say, Okay, we've decided that this isn't really working very well, so we're gonna completely revamp this system, we're gonna change it. And everybody's like, What? But I know the system, I don't want to change it.

Leaving Toxic Environments

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Well, that's the system doesn't work, it's not efficient and it doesn't work, and so we need to change it. But do you know how many times I've heard somebody say, like, well, I hate my job, but I'm too old.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Oh, yeah, and that's no. I I understand, and if you're like, Well, I only have two years and I'm gonna retire, and they're gonna suck it up. I mean, I kind of understand that a little bit. But what if you die? But well, that's the thing about us.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

I don't think you should ever be So you live the next two years miserable because you're gonna get to retire, and then you retire and you die. So, like Well, even if it's just two years, like, do you really want to stay in a bad environment for another two years because you're so scared of it?

SPEAKER_02 7:09

I think that's a generational thing too, though. So I think that like, you know, I think even like my parents' age group would have felt like, well, yes, you would just stay miserable because there's a maybe a pension or there's maybe these different things for your future for financial reasons. And so they just sat in jobs for a long, long time that they hated. And then they would tell my generation, like, that's what you do. You work hard for it so that that way you get all these things, so that way when you retire, you have all these benefits, blah, blah, blah. Right. And um, I think that that's where like your generation started looking at it at more as well, really, I mean, the job sucks. And I deserve better. And I deserve better. My life should not be this miserable. And I definitely agree with that. I mean, I I I agree in a probably a middle ground on it. I mean, at the end of the day, um, you need a job and you need to be able to pay your bills. And without being able to have a job and pay your bills, um, you don't get happier without that. But I do think that people should realize that you do not have to stay at a job and don't do it because you're just comfortable. Don't do it because you just have the two more years left. Because truly, there are a lot of people that I've known in my life that have passed away way too young and never got to enjoy retirement. Um, and then you have, and and on the other hand, on the flip side, you do have to be prepared because what if you do live to be 95 years old? You don't want to be a 95-year-old with no money because you were too busy being happy while you were 20, 30, 40 years old, but I was so happy and now I've I'm retired and miserable because I have nothing. So I do think there's a balance, but I just think that we need to definitely stop and smell the roses, enjoy our families. And just like people do say, you can't take the money with you when you die. Although I do feel like there's people who would say yes, but I like to leave it to my family. So there's always an argument in every way you look at it. I think it depends on your values and how you see life for yourself. So if for you that's what you want to do, I think it's fine. But I just think people put too much emphasis on like I'm stuck at this place that I'm at, and nobody is stuck at a company that they're at. There's so many opportunities. And even now, you know, they'll the people act like, well, I like the kids nowadays, I think, especially will say, Well, I went to college, now there's no job. Well, what did you pick a degree in? Let's let's just talk about that for a minute. You know what I mean? Like pick an intentional degree if you're going to school. This degree, is there jobs in that degree? Yes or no? What are you going to be able to do? How are you gonna be able to make it happen? Everybody should have a plan. You know, it should always be plan for the worst, expect the best and plan for the worst, right? So that's the thing about it is you should always plan out anything that's even your life for retirement, things like that. You should always put money away and be smart and make sure that you're have a happy life. But I think in my generation, and not as bad, but definitely we're taught from our parents. Like you just sit in it, muscle through. Doesn't matter. They're in charge. Your generation is like, screw them.

Change As An Empowering Choice

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah, you know, I will say, and I know that I'm a quote unquote millennial, um, but I do feel like I have some, I don't know, I feel like I can I can fit into to multiple multiple generations, kind of just I have good work ethic. I know how to work hard. I know, you know, I I think that some people don't live in it maybe long enough. Like there are job hoppers or there are people that just don't want to work that hard. And like that's not necessarily um, that's not necessarily me. You know, with my new job, I was I was honest. Like, I don't know the philanthropy space. I don't know the financial space, but what I do know is how to work hard, how to be loyal, how to be committed, how to learn.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

Um I think that's what though, like when you even say like you're a millennial, but you you um like feel like there's some differences in you, I think it's because in general, people have given millennials like the bad rap saying, like they want to be so happy and work 20 hours, and that's just not realistic. Right. I mean, there may be a situation you mean you can live in a lesser amount, and there's always ways you can make adjustments to live however you want. I mean, if you want to work 20 hours a week, but that means you're gonna downsize your home, you're gonna downsize your life because that's how you want to be, then that's fine. But you're not gonna, I mean, you have to really think of what's important to you, what do you want? But I think that that's the problem is there's a lot of millennials that um I'm sure get frustrated because like my generation and older would look at them and say, Well, your generation doesn't want to work. I mean, you guys think that you should be, you know, working, staying at home with your kids, playing all day long, and just get paid because I mean, that's not it doesn't make you happy to go work for somebody. But I think there's a lot of millennials truly that are out there that are like you. I think that that and I think there's certain things that you guys have opened up eyes to and forced upon some companies even to realize that um people do have to have a work-life balance. I mean, it's destroyed marriages. I mean, left and right from yeah, my husband works his butt off and he and he provides for his family so great, and I never see him. And you ha and what do you think that does to a marriage? I mean, it eventually picks away at it. You know, the the woman sitting at home is upset and miserable, and the husband's gone all the time and he misses out on so many things, like he's happy. You know what I mean? So I think it's gotten to where now it's it's it's pushed. Um just like how your job has the, you know, like you can take unlimited PTO, even though obviously it means nobody's really gonna be off six months a year. Let's you know what I mean. Like there's a reality here, right? But it gives you some flexibility to take care of what you need to take care of. It's it's a company prioritizing, letting it be known, hey, we have a business to run and we want you to be a part of it, and that's great. And but we also understand that you have a life and you have to be there and present for your kids and your family. And I think that's what millennials have had some good push about. Work to live, don't live to work. And I I guess. And I think it's made where the abilities, you know, I know COVID kind of pushed it, but I think it also was starting to have a lot more work from home jobs. You know, the thing is it gave people the ability to work and do a good job, but yet when their kids got off the bus, at least there's somebody at the house. You know what I mean? I think that a lot of families want that, and so it's given just those opportunities. And I think that's where millennials have done a really great job. Um, we just in my generation make fun of and bash the ones who say, well, I mean, I should just be out traveling and having fun and getting my nails done, my hair done, and you know, playing with the kids all day. And I mean, I guess I could work like 15 hours, like get a clue. Right. That's not that's not life, it's not reality. You still have to save for retirement, you still have to save your money in case the freaking furnace breaks. Like nobody else is gonna come and do it. And I certainly sure as hell now working my butt off so I can make sure I pay for it for you. So I just think that that's I don't know. People should should there's things to that our older generations in my generation can always learn from younger generations, just like we can learn from each other. Absolutely, you know, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Balance, it all comes down to to balance and you know, not stealing company time, um, being productive, being, you know, all of the things. It's just it's balancing, it's work-life balance, period in the story, you know. And we need for our future selves, we need to let go of the idea that we have to be perfect. We don't need a color-coded pantry and and inner peace. We just she, me, we just need to keep growing, keep learning, uh take the good, leave the bad.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Continue just, I don't know, working on ourselves and and being the best version of ourselves that we possibly can.

Generational Scripts About Work

SPEAKER_02 14:48

Yeah, I think that I think we I mean, I think we all owe it to ourselves. I mean, you know, it comes down to even like happiness real realistically, like it, you know, um mentioned before, even stuff is just that you you have to create your own happiness. And I think that that's where anxiety has kind of like gotten out of control for a lot of people. And um you owe it to your future self to be happy. And you have to do it. Yes. And that means that sometimes you can make a change or do something different, or maybe you need to spend some time working on going to the gym. Maybe you're somebody never went to the gym and it's time to focus on you and go to the gym and feel healthier, or maybe it's a new craft you want to learn and put some time in and take some time for yourself to take care of you. I mean, ultimately that's what's gonna help take care of your family and and your happiness for sure. And who doesn't like a happy partner, happy parent? You know, I think that makes a big difference. And I think we owe it to ourselves to do that. That's why if you're in a crappy job, there's other jobs out there for sure.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

And it might not be your dream job, it might just be temporary, but if it makes you happier, go for it.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Well, sometimes like exiting a job may mean you get the next job, you're like, hey, this isn't really what I thought I was gonna get into, but it's just a stepping stone that gets you to where you needed to go that you didn't even realize. You know what I mean? There's a lot of people tell that I'll talk to you that tell me that they're like, I left this job, I hated it. The next job I went to, I mean it was okay, but it it I don't know, I just didn't it wasn't my fit, but I was definitely not as miserable as the first one, right? And so, but I've now I've landed a job that I am so in love with that I think it took me just getting out of there. And that job gave me that, you know, getting out. And then now I've gotten to the place where I've never been happier ever.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Just that extra, that extra push. Uh-huh. You know, we also need to learn to repair the relationships with ourselves when we slip. You don't abandon future you because you had a rough week. You apologize, regroup, keep going, keep digging. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Yes. I think you definitely gotta have some practical anxiety tips for future you. I think if you don't plan this out and have these um, these things kind of like in your forefront, I think that you're not doing yourself any any good for sure.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Start building your roadmap to whatever you want the future to look at. So let's give some actual tools because we love to do, we love a to-do list around here.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

So what are some what are some actual tools that we can So I think you got like name your anxiety, like as a person, you know, Janet is spiraling again.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Janet was my grandma. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna use that one necessarily.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Uh, but create distance. It gives you it does give you control for sure.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Lower the bar a lot. Future me will thank me for throwing the laundry in the wash, not future me wants to fold all six loads and transform into Martha Stewart.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

Yeah, you might want to really like get this planned out for your laundry problem. Oh god, write this one down, Kylie.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Don't don't tell my mom, don't tell my mom it's out of control again.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

I hate laundry so much. Here's another one. Um, you can create a tiny future self safety net. Things like um setting your clothes out. I always did this with the kids. I'd be like, set your clothes out because that way when you get up in the morning, you already have your stuff sitting there. You don't have to think about it. Because honestly, God, I think there's so many times I've gotten out of the dang shower and stood in front of my closet going, I have nothing to wear for 15 freaking minutes that I could have already been dressed and onto my makeup and everything else. Um, pre-filling the kids' water bottles, um, putting meds where you'll see them. That's big time because it's easy to forget. And a five-minute reset. I do think you always gotta have those few minutes, but preparing, I think, is huge.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

I'm a big preparer. And making those small adjustments, you know, the dishwasher at night and the Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

Unload at night so that it's or wash them all. No, you want to unload at night. I always unload at night and then I start filling through the day the next day. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Notice your language. Stop saying I'll never get there. Start saying I'm building her slowly.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

Yeah, I think um I think that's important. It's okay to do slow. It doesn't have to be fast. I think it's people get too stressed out when it's fast. Because like growing really isn't glamorous. It's not a montage.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

No, and it doesn't have to happen right now. You just have a a plan. Again, a a plan for our future selves.

Balance, Not Perfection

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Yeah, I think that um well yeah, I think that's the thing. I okay, I can't stand like when you're at work though, and they'll be like, so what exactly is your plan to make this better? I think the word when people say plan, you're kind of like, oh my god, here we go. As soon as they say it, you're like, my plan. I don't know what my freaking plan is, you know, and it gets aggravated.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

If I had a plan, I wouldn't be anxious right now.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

And I wouldn't be in this predicament where you're asking me what the hell my plan is. Right?

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Swear.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

But I do think that um at the same time, the funny part about as much as at work, it can stress me out if somebody says that at the same time at home, I'm always like, we need a plan. You know what I mean? Like if you're planning. You're better off if you plan for if you really are planning for the worst and expecting the best. I just I swear I just think you're always happier. And so having that plan is important. I think the part at work though is they don't give you the expect the best portion in there. It's plan or expect the worst. Right. Your plan didn't work before. Let's get a new one, or I'm gonna tell you how you suck. That's what I don't like about it. Very true. Very true. So what's some things that you feel for your future, let's say that I don't know. Like, do you ever think about like really your future, like where you're gonna be? Or did you or do you ever think back to like when you were younger? Now, like for me, I can say for sure, like when I was younger, okay. What did I think I was gonna be? I didn't have I didn't think I'd be where I'm in today. Like, did you think what you're doing right now, like that's what you thought this is where your life was gonna lead you when you were like in high school and you're like, people all say, So what are you gonna become when you grow up? And you're like, I don't know, I'm just a dumb teenager wanting to enjoy my life, and you're trying to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

And then somebody I don't know what I had in mind, but it wasn't this.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

I think that's the thing about it. I think it's even a lot of pressure for these kids that out of high school, you've gotta like have your plan. And if you're gonna go to school, you gotta already know what you're gonna be, what you're gonna do. Like you have to have all these things figured out, and I think there's a lot of pressure put on that. And I sit and think back and think, I mean, hell, I don't know. I mean, I don't think I ever really knew like what was my strength. I don't know. I did and even like a I think I it took me a long time for somebody's like, what is your strength that I would even feel like I feel confident, you know what I feel like I'm good at. But when I was a kid, I'm like, I don't know. I'm just a nice person trying to figure it out.

Practical Tools For Future You

SPEAKER_01 21:50

No, I don't, you know, for me, I spent 15 years in a career, and I don't know that was never, that was never really in my plan. Um and it it sounds so cliche, but I just I want to be happy. I want to build a a life that I don't need a vacation from, you know, I want to build a life that I'm just happy and always growing and always learning, and I don't know where I'm going to be. Did I, did I think that I was gonna be 36 year old, 36 years old, divorced, um, starting a new career? Like, no. But what I am learning or learning to be okay with is that it's okay to not know and it's okay to learn and it's okay to figure it out. And right now I'm really in the phase of just um kind of starting over and rebuilding and figuring out what makes Kylie happy because Kylie doesn't know what makes Kylie happy. You know what I'm saying? Like it's finding out or or learning what truly makes me tick, what I'm truly passionate about. And that's one thing, you know, through this podcast that I love to help people. And when we were in the medical industry, like that was what drove me. That was my why, if you will. Obviously, it's putting food on the table and providing my kids the best like of life I possibly can. But I literally enjoyed knowing that the people, the lives that we were, you know, helping or changing, or, you know, in in our old job, it was just we were having people that were going through life-altering like medical diagnoses or getting put on oxygen for the first time, or God forbid, event, or whatever the case may be, or helping a parent, we were putting an apnea monitor on a kid and helping a parent in the scariest time of their life. Like that's what drove me. It was never about the numbers, it was never about the growth, it was never about the um money that the company wanted it to be about for me. That's not what drove me. It was actually helping people. And so when that, you know, that piece kind of ended, it's this podcast has filled that gap. Like when people reach out to us and say, like, I had you on when I was cleaning today, and like you made me laugh, you got me through the day, or I always look forward to hearing you and Gina and you know, what's going on in your lives, or you made if when people just say you made me laugh, like that, that checks that box for me. Like helping, just helping others and and building this village and this community where we can be together and know that life isn't perfect, life is very, very messy, and that we're not alone and lots of people feel this way. And so for me, I hope that we can continue to kind of build this empire that we're building and continue to help people and outreach and that people continue to reach out to us and let us know when we help, let us know how we can help. Um, you know, I hope, I hope my future self, I hope that we just keep building this. But as far as like where I'm gonna be in five years, no idea. But I'm learning to be content with that.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

I think I think that's a I think that's a reality that I think people have. Um, you know, even when you get married, you know, oh, you're gonna grow up, you're gonna meet this guy, he's gonna be the greatest thing ever, you're gonna get married, life's gonna be perfect, you're gonna have kids, you're gonna, it's all all the things, you know. You're gonna have the white picket fence and the beautiful home, and you're gonna decorate it cute, and the kids are gonna be in adorable outfits, and the pictures on the wall are gonna be perfect, and that's just not reality. It just isn't.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

And that's all fine, but you can still have all of that and feel really freaking empty inside. Yes.

Plans, Pressure, And Permission

SPEAKER_02 25:22

And I think that's but life that's the thing. Life is so much bigger than that. And I think that I wish I wish at the end of the day that like I would have maybe had a way or somebody to help me figure out when I was younger, like like just tell me what my strengths are, because I think a lot of times I feel like I don't know. And then someone'd be like, oh my god, I think you're good at this or that. And I'm like, really? I am. I mean, I think we doubt ourselves a lot, and it's or just like in picking a spouse, you know. My my dad would say stuff like, you know, realistically, it's it's a business. And and I would think, uh, okay, that sounds like horrible. Like that sounds like torture. I don't really want to marry somebody that we're in business with. But then when I got with Tom, he would always talk about we're a team. Like, and sometimes it would bring me back to the whole business discussion. And I would think, okay, what like we're playing freaking soccer here or something, dude. Like I I it just would be, I don't know. It just sometimes didn't make sense to me. And I think I wish it would have been talked to me about when I was younger to help me to understand that it is true, you have to pick somebody that you are on the same team, headed towards the same goals and have the same basis of ideas. There was some guy that I actually saw on TikTok just recently, I can't remember his name, and he had just said that do you know that out of all relationships, there is the main the main thing that lets you know is somebody gonna make it or not make it is are they friends. And if because they don't have to like the same things, they don't have to like want to be, you know, one can love sports, the other one could care less, and one could wanna, you know, I don't know, there's a lot of things that they may want to do, the other person doesn't want to. They're like the interests don't have to be the same. He said ultimately you have to have a strong friendship, and if you have that, those are the couples that make it through things compared to the other couples. And I think that probably would have resonated a little bit better to say like you have to be like truly like best friends, which I think can be a distortion in your mind when you're young, because you could think, Well, I think this person's my best friend. Right. It's yeah, it's hard. But I do think I wish some of those things would have been I don't know, like there's ways to like show us stuff when we're younger to help us to learn how to help take care of our future self. And it did not take me till I got older to figure it all out, but I still because now I feel like I can I have a better idea of like where I'm maybe headed. And not that I necessarily know if something will shift for work or something, just like this podcast wasn't like I was ever thinking, oh, I'm gonna be a podcaster one day. Like that wasn't like, but I do think it's about being open to anything. I'm always open to anything. I will always talk to somebody if they want to talk to me about an idea of something to try. I'm always open to it. Always.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

I think that's what's important. Just being open-minded for sure.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

Yeah. And I think too many people are not.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

So a couple things for me to, you know, and my future self, it's one, not explaining my boundaries to people who violate them. I don't owe anybody an explanation. Um, two, blocking or removing people who harm my peace, just figuring out again what makes me happy and protecting my peace. That's okay. Saying no, you and I have talked about this, saying no without guilt or having to overexplain. Like it's okay to say no, giving myself permission to heal at my own pace. Um, and limiting my time with people who drain my energy. You know, we keep talking about it, but growth, growth hurts and growth is painful, but we've got to set those boundaries and know exactly, you know, we might not know what it's gonna look like in five years, right?

SPEAKER_02 29:00

But we can give ourselves the tools to well, we can at least know where maybe we can try to focus more on where we want to, where we would like to go with an open mind that if we had to turn right real quick, we should. And knowing our our boundaries, you know? Yeah. And I think that's a that's a big thing is boundaries. I think that um we don't have enough of them. Like me and you. Well, sometimes I like to put a boundary of a wall between you and me. For sure. No, I I just think that's the thing. I don't think that we um I don't think we I just don't think a lot of people put boundaries in place like they should, and we should. So we protect ourselves. And I think that we should um it would probably help us to make those changes or be ready for, you know, hey, it's time to turn right real quick. You know?

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Because growth is, yeah, that's that's all a part of growing.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

Yes. Yes, it truly is.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

I think I sent you something like it gets really hard before it gets better. And I feel like that's the kind of phase, not because even even when I say it's really hard, like it's so much better than it's been. So like while it still feels messy and really, really hard most days, it's still way better than I could have imagined. So that's cool, you know.

Redefining Success And Service

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Yeah, I agree with that. I mean, I guess I even like when Tom was in the hospital, um, I just think for the next over the that during that time, like I'll never forget. I came home one day and my pool was green, I could have blown the backyard up. Like the last thing I need to do is give two shits if there's clean, clear, beautiful sparkling water in my pool. But I can't just leave it green to have caused me a bigger problem. So I was just so annoyed. And then it was like, then I literally over the next like year or two, it was like every time I turn around, I'd be like, oh, the washer's not working. Oh, the um refrigerator's not working, oh, this isn't working. You know what I mean? Like stuff, oh, need a new air conditioner. And I was like, I swear to God. It was just like we went from him having all these things to one problem after the other. And then I would tell him, I'm like, and every problem is at least$2,000. Right. You know what I mean? Probably more expensive. Here's two grand. Here's two grand. And I just think that we have to always realize that at some point in time it does end and realize that just keep moving towards where you want to go, that then you get out of it. And now, I mean, we talk about all the time. I mean, there's always problems in life, you always have to get through things, but I think that um we never would have thought we would we never would have thought we would have gone through that. We also never would have thought we'd be here today, and that just makes us thankful because it's like some of that stuff also made certain decisions maybe different. You know, what you focus on maybe was a little different. I think I think it's a good thing, but not all of it's bad.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Just being prepared that things are always gonna go wrong, things are always gonna break, and it's how we kind of react to those and set ourselves up and our future selves for the you know, the best version that we can possibly be. So ask yourself what does the next version of me actually deserve?

SPEAKER_02 32:03

And how can I show up for her today in the smallest, kindest way possible?

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Your future self is proud of you, even if today you're overwhelmed, exhausted, or anxious.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

And she's grateful, you're trying. That's the relationship that changes everything.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Thank you for being in this village with us. Go do one tiny thing for your future you today. Even if it's just taking a breath, we love you. Since this episode is landing on Christmas Eve, we wanted to take a moment at the end to talk directly to you, our village.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

Wherever you are right now, wrapping gifts, cooking, driving, hiding from your family in the bathroom, or finally getting a quiet second for yourself, we want to wish you a very Merry Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

This season is beautiful, but it's also a lot. The pressure, the expectations, the comparison, the mental load. It can be heavy. And if you're feeling that today, we just want you to know you are not alone.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

If this year looks different for you, if you're missing someone, going through something tough, or your heart just feels a little tender, we're sending you the biggest, warmest hug through your speakers.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

One thing we love about this village is that we sh we get to show up exactly as we are, imperfect, overwhelmed, trying our best and still growing. And somehow that's more than enough.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

So today, give yourself permission to slow down, to breathe, to enjoy one small moment that's just yours. Even if it's sipping your coffee alone in the pantry while your kids shake every gift under the tree.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

We're so grateful for this podcast and for every single one of you. Your messages, your support, your stories, they mean the world to us.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

And on this Christmas Eve, we want you to remember something. You matter. You're doing better than you think. And your presence in your family, in this village, in your own life is a gift.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

So from our families to yours, Merry Christmas. We hope tonight and tomorrow bring you peace, joy, and at least one moment that feels magical.

Friendship, Teamwork, And Partners

SPEAKER_02 34:07

And if the magic feels a little shy this year, that's okay. Borrow some of ours. We love you, village. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. If no one's told you lately, let me be the one to say it. You're not failing, you're growing. You're not broken, you're becoming, and you're doing better than you think.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

Thanks for being here today. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you'd subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another mom who might need to hear this. You can also connect with us on Facebook or TikTok at V A R M C. We'd love to hear your story. Until next time, give yourself grace, breathe deep, and remember, peace is possible.