Sometimes People Show You Who They Are

Your gut tells you “no,” but your heart says “maybe.” That tug-of-war can feel nonstop as a mom, especially when you’re anxious, tired, and trying to see the good in people. We start with the classic scorpion and the frog fable and use it as a mirror for real life: the friends who lie, the partners who keep bending the truth, and the situations where you ignore red flags because you want things to work out.

We get honest about the big question underneath it all: are some people just bad, or are they wounded? From everyday dishonesty to truly malicious behavior, we talk through how trust breaks, why it’s so hard to rebuild, and why “small” lies still matter. We also connect the story to modern scams and catfishing, where loneliness, hope, and flattery can override common sense and leave people drained emotionally and financially.

Then we shift to what actually helps: boundaries, communication, and the “turtle shell” idea of protecting yourself without shutting everyone out. We talk about why you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change, why therapy and self-work matter, and how to raise kids who are kind without raising them to be easy targets. If this topic hits home, subscribe, share with a friend who needs a stronger shell, and leave a review. What’s a moment you ignored your intuition and wished you hadn’t?

Transcript

Welcome To Anxiety Ridden Moms Club

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, the podcast for moms who love their kids deeply and still feel anxious, exhausted, and overstimulated. Here, we talk about the messy stuff, the thoughts we don't say out loud, the pressure to do it all, and the journey back to ourselves. Progress over perfection always. Let's go.

The Scorpion And The Frog

SPEAKER_01 0:28

I need to know if this has ever happened to you. Have you ever helped someone, even though your gut told you not to? And then they hurt you exactly the way you feared they would. Oh, we're starting spicy today. We're starting honest today. Okay, I'm seated. Let's go. So there's this old fable, and it has survived for decades for a reason. You had never heard it. No, I don't even know what you're talking about. And you've been alive for lots of decades. Stick it up your ass. Okay, go on. A scorpion needs to cross a river, but he can't swim. So he goes to a frog sitting at the water's edge and says, Will you carry me across? And the frog says, Absolutely not. You will sting me. And the scorpion says, Why would I do that? If I sting you, you'll die and then I'll drown too. That wouldn't make any sense. So the frog thinks about it, logically. It checks out. So he lets the scorpion climb on his back. They get halfway across the river and the scorpion stings him. As they're both sinking, the frog says, Why would you do that? Now we're both going to die. And the scorpion replies, It's in my nature. I'm a scorpion. Okay. Well, like I read this because you sent it to me. And that just gets me pissed off. Why? Because I okay, so I will say this is one of the things that probably like even when I read it, it pissed me off. Because I hate

Are People Born Bad

SPEAKER_01 2:11

I hate why people like that just piss me off. Like they know they know what they're doing and they don't care. So even when I went for it to say it's it's in my nature. There are people like that in this world. They just that's just who they are. They don't care. They don't care how they affect somebody else negatively, if they especially if they're getting what they want. Fair. So like in this whole scenario, obviously I don't totally understand why the hell somebody stings somebody so they both pass away. But at this point because it's a scorpion, and that's what scorpions do. They sting people. Oh my god. But I mean, but I but I mean, uh, but usually people, in my opinion, they're like that, though they do something because they're gonna get something out of it, they can give two shits how that affects you. For sure. It was probably something that made me struggle the most in my 20s to early 30s. It was probably the time where I really didn't understand why anybody would be bad. I think I was I was raised kind of naive, anyways. I really, really understood that as someone. I was raised in a very just a regular like life. Like people are good, and there's like, even though my parents sometimes would tell you, like, oh, watch out for this or that, I didn't really feel like the world was bad. I felt like if anything, the world was just full of happy good people and couldn't imagine that somebody would be like this. And so then once I started realizing that they are, and I was a good person, I didn't really understand why people would do bad things. And I don't mean bad things like, you know, be a kid and party or do something. I'm talking more like, you know, just be murder. Like, yeah. Or just being ignorant to somebody or saying just ignorant stuff to somebody for no reason, or getting using somebody for something for their own good, but yet not caring how that affects somebody else. Well, yeah. I mean, the primary the primary moral of the story is that people with malicious or destructive natures can't resist harming others, even when it's against their own self-interests. So basically it's a cautionary tale. Careful trusting someone whose character is inherently harmful. The modern version actually appeared in Russia in the early 20th century. But then there's an even older Persian version, I guess, called the Scorpion and the Turtle. And in that version, the turtle survives because it has a shell, which makes more sense to me. That's why I say I don't understand what the scorpion, uh, you're both dead now. But okay, I understand that it's a whole that's what a scorpion does. With the turtle, it makes more sense. But yeah. It's it does it makes a difference. So I guess the real question for me is are there just bad people? Are people can Yeah? Well, there are some. There are some, I think, that no matter what, there are obviously just either is evil, evil does exist in our world. But I also think, you know, a lot of times they're wounded people. So how do you know? How do you know the difference? Are they just bad? That's why I'm reading this book, the one that I talked about before. And I'm still going through this and I'm starting to take my notes, so it'll all come back to you guys later. More and more that I learned through it. But that's because there's wounded people, and I don't know how you know. I really don't know how you know. I mean, even if I sat and talked to somebody who's who's lying for their own intentions, good intentions, you know, like to get their own something out of that. Or maybe they just feel like they have to lie. Maybe they don't think they'll that you'll like them if they didn't lie. That goes on too. I just have I don't know. You're freaking lying to me. So how am I supposed to know? You're just wounded. I think I'm on the opposite like I think I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. It's hard for me to- You're the one stinging people. No, that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I meant it's hard for me to believe that people are bad. Yes, but then that's how you're not. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's hard for me, like Jesus made everyone, right? Why would there be bad people? Because that's the devil doing his work and because of temptation and all of those things. Mm-hmm. And don't okay, so are there people just born evil? No. Right? Oh, I think maybe there could be some. Some people might be. But I think that a lot of times I think that you are a product of what happened. I mean, honestly, yeah, like most of the times you ever hear some situation, if you dig into the past of that person, there's some traumatic shit that usually has happened. And so I think a lot of times, you know, just like they even say, if you have a baby and the baby's never touched or held or basically, you know, that they'll die. You know what I mean? So think about how traumatic it is if you even have somebody that, yeah, I mean, their mom picked them up, held them, and did the basic thing so they had enough to live, but yet at the same time, everything around them is traumatic. Right, exactly. So I mean, she kind of like was like not exactly giving you a normal life. Was Hitler not held as a baby? Okay, wait. So back it up. So do you think people are born like there are people in the world born evil? Or do you think that everything is a I don't know. I don't know. I have there's a lot of questions that I have as far as our whole living, dying, all that stuff. People talk about, you know, reincarnations. If that was true, then I would say, well, if reincarnating was true, if you became evil even in one life, now your ass is evil. So I don't know. I feel like I don't, I don't know. I I think that in if you think about it as God made all of us in his, you know, his eyes, blah, blah, blah, then it would have to come primarily, it comes from what happens in your life is to create that. And I do think in a lot of people's situations that are evil, a lot of things have been where their life experiences turned them into that. Because it might mess them up mentally. So do you know anyone or have you encountered a

Spotting Malicious Behavior

SPEAKER_01 8:22

bad person?

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Like maliciously bad. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Do you are they actively in your life or in a former life? I don't know what I'm trying to say. I've known them in the past. I've known them in the past. How do you handle them? I mean, obviously, I don't hang out with a person I think is bad. Once I you find out that this person that you've had to deal with in your life is um, you know, lies, cheats, deals, whatever, right? Um, that inherently is always out to do whatever for whatever benefits them, no matter how that affects anybody else, or that just does dumb shit that they to get themselves in trouble, whatever it may be. I mean, I've known plenty of people like that throughout life, especially the people who I think lie to where they almost believe their lies. But I mean, I don't like keeping it. But a fucking thing. Why would you keep those people in there? Why would you keep those people in your life? You kind of move on from that. So no, I don't have them in my life currently. Um Okay. Okay. So someone from our past life that we know. Oops, sorry, son shot and killed a cop. We know they are good people and they raised him to not grow up and shoot cop. I think that was drugs, though. Well, I think a lot of times that's the thing. I mean, there's usually substance abuse with those kinds of situations. I think when you talk about bad people as being just like, in my opinion, I guess I think of this situation when you're talking about like the scorpion stinging, to me, in my personal opinion, is to do with your more day-to-day people who are um they're liars. There's a lot of liars. I think there's a lot of people who lie. And not that I think that they're I don't think they're liars like always with bad intentions all the time, but they just like almost feel like they have to lie. I think sometimes they people lie because maybe you won't like me. But if I lie and tell you I do this, now you like

Why People Lie

SPEAKER_01 10:14

me. I'm gonna call out my kid for a second. I um bought a big container of pretzels filled with peanut butter. Oh, yummy. Like, yeah. And you can have 10 for like 140, 10 pieces for like 140 calories. And sometimes it's just like it's lint, it's yeah. And they're delicious. Okay, go on. Yeah, whatever. And sometimes I just want a snack, okay? And so I'm like, and Brad is really bad too about like taking something downstairs, like when he's playing PlayStation or whatever. And so food just like disappears in my house, okay? And so I'm like, Brad, I always check with him first. And I'm like, hey, do you know where the pretzels with peanut butter are? No. So I'm like, Why? Have you seen the pretzels with peanut butter? Nope. Like, okay. So I literally like turn and like walk in the kids' bedroom and like hear sets the pretzels and peanut butter like on the floor. Like, why the fuck did you just like lie to me about something so stupid? Like, I wasn't mad. Like, and I think that you know, people can be like, Well, did you overreact? Do you ever like no? I genuinely just wanted to know where my fucking pretzels were. Why would you lie about that? He got it from me because I used to lie about stupid shit like that. Oh, did you? Yeah. Yeah. Is it food? Does it all go back full circle? Like, is it because I hid my snacks and because you know, that he like was afraid that I was gonna come down on him for snacking. Snacking in bed. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I think it I don't know. I think that there's just some I he's not evil by any means. He's not one of those maliciously. No, no, no, no. But I think that that's the thing is I think some of the kids who turn into adults who lie um probably did some lying when they were kids, right? And that I think that sometimes it just gets out of hand with people. I also think it's because probably got away with it because the parent wasn't paying attention. Something positive came out of it. Or some kids lie because they don't get attention at home enough like they're supposed to. And if they lie, even if it's negative attention, they'll take it. You know what I mean? So like I think it's I think it comes from dysfunction at some point of what was going on in in in their life while they were growing up. I don't think that typically people just say, you know, I just feel like going out and, you know, I don't know, lying today. I just think it's you found it did something for you at some point, whether it was, I want to date this girl, and I don't think she's gonna, she'd never date me because of these things. So I'm going to pretend I'm more like this kind of a person. Or why do you think that there's people that are like uh online and they sit around and they say, Oh yes, I'm I have uh blonde hair and blue eyes and big breasts. And then you see me and that's it's that doesn't all add up. Exactly. I had watched as you know, you feel like the way that you show up is not what that person would go for. So I think that that just turns into lying in so many ways. I just think that's exactly the basis of why people lie. And then they found that somebody liked them, and not to that extreme, obviously, say I'm blonde hair, blue-eyed, and I show up I'm red hair and brown eyes. You know what I mean? But I'm just saying it's that concept. You know what I mean? Like I don't know if you, even as a friend, are gonna like me if I'm too shy and I'm quiet and I don't speak up and I don't this and that, maybe you won't like me. So maybe I'll try to seem like I'm just like you. And then that way it'll all be, and then later down the road, you find out I really don't want to, that's not comfortable to me. Really just lie just to say you'd like me. You know what I'm saying? Lying for some sort of gratification. Yeah, sort of outcome. They gain something in the end. I don't, like I said, I don't, I don't think all of the people who do that think that they're doing it to be malicious, bad people. I just think that it's become a bad habit. And that's why one of the things I cannot stand is a liar. And the one thing I always told my kids if I would rather you told me the truth, whatever it is, I can't really honestly help you when you lie, anyways. So if you got in trouble in something, can't help you out if you told me a lie. Because I'm gonna go in a totally different direction. I'm gonna think it's this when really it was that. You know what I mean? So you want me to support you, help you, and whatever, I have to be told the truth. Don't ever lie to me. Because I can trust you 100%. You can lose trust really easily, but you can't gain that shit back easily. It takes a lot longer and that sucks because that means there's more rules put on people. No different than if you're in a relationship with somebody. When somebody does something that you didn't want them to do, now all of a sudden you have to trust that they're not doing it anymore. Well, it takes a long time to heal from all that stuff. So I just think people who lie just they've always kind of lied and when they were younger and got away with it or got something out of it. And I just think then it becomes a part of who they are. In their nature, like the scorpion. It becomes a score. The scorpion is born to sting. So

Ignoring Intuition And Getting Burned

SPEAKER_01 15:02

back to the fable. I want to talk the the frog then, because the frog ignored its intuition or its gut. And I feel like we do that a lot of times too. Like, oh yeah. Well, that's because you don't want to believe. You want to believe the person telling you something. Even on the stupid shit, like, okay, you and I have joined trainings and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it all seems great and fair. And then at the end, they want to charge you $500. Like, I fall for that shit every single day. That like, but think of, okay, that it's naive. It feels naive. I feel ridiculous because it's like, I know they're gonna want me to buy something. I know they're gonna text me 752 fucking times after I put my phone number in here, but I do it anyway. I do it anyway. I think it's ignoring my intuition. If you are inherently not somebody who lies and you ultimately are someone who um is a good person, you want to believe there's good in everybody. Like you say, do you really believe that somebody was born evil? Like you feel almost bad to say, yes, I think that they were. I think somebody was just born evil. Like you want to believe that that's not true because that's what you want to believe. Or um you're in a relationship with somebody. You've been in this relationship, let's say, for quite some time, and they lied to you about I mean, stupid shit, even. I mean, it can be dumb, dumb stuff. And uh, but you want to believe it's true, so it's true. Then if somebody else comes and tells you, you do know that that's not true, right? I mean, it could be something stupid. I'm not talking about cheating and all that. I'm talking about anything. And you're like, no, I mean, I I I believe what they're telling me because you want to believe that. And that frog wanted to believe the scorpion's not that bad. Like, yeah, we know he stings. Okay. I mean, he's bad, but I mean, but he was trying really like seems so difficult that the stupid fuck wouldn't sting you and you would both die. Right. And so it makes sense that you'd be like, well, I mean, okay. And you let your guard down. Because if you're not a liar, you always gonna put your guard on. How do you live your life in a positive manner and believe that there are good in situations, but not be naive and give your credit card to somebody that's gonna steal your whole fucking life? You know what I mean? Like I feel like it is a very, very, very. Well,

Catfishing And Scams

SPEAKER_01 17:20

have you seen like um there was a big thing going around for a little while where it was like Jennifer Aniston, like was, you know, dating some people and online. Okay, this now not true. Hello, Jennifer Aniston's not owl out for you people. She has plenty of options. But she was out there and she and basically whoever it was scamming using her stuff was like getting like a lot of money. So then there was another one, and it was a guy. It was another actor, and it was a guy. And what's it's kind of a shame. But anyway, so my husband knows when this one lady and he even had heard that she actually like sent a bunch of this money because this person's in love with her. Okay, I mean, like, Lei's probably like 75 years old. This is uh like an actor who's like probably 55, 58 or 60. I am so fucking lost right now. What it what is happening? What you haven't heard seen any of this stuff? It's been a little while since I've seen it. But there was all this stuff about that so people like in you know, catfishing basically, the whole catfish idea for money. So they're like, I'm Jennifer Aniston, and you're so hot, and oh my god, we're in love, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the person believes it and then sends Jennifer Anston, his girlfriend, all sorts of money. I've seen this, like, I've I've seen it, but I I didn't realize they were using like Jennifer Aniston. Oh, yeah, they're used to people that I mean, come on. Like, come on. Like I that's like if all of a sudden some Jennifer Aniston's not gonna need your fucking money anyway. Like Gerard Butler, if he all of a sudden started hitting me up, I can love Gerard Butler. I do. If he almost always hit me up, I'm probably not gonna think it's true. But I'm not sending them money either. No, I mean I might enjoy whatever photos the people have because of me. I'll be like, oh, nice, you know, to have on hand. But why do you need $500, Gerard? I think you have plenty of money, first off. Right. And I also think I you probably are not looking for me. That's just what I would common sense would make me believe I'm not probably the girl of his dreams. But these people are naive. Well, they're they're and they're also tie this all together for me. I think a lot of times people are, yes, we're naive, which it being when you are naive, you want to believe everybody's inheritantly good. So you want to believe that whatever's coming, your direction or people are saying to you is true. So if Gerard Butler all of a sudden came in, I would of course I'd want it to be true. I'd be like, oh my God, he wants to talk to me. Oh, thanks, Gerard. I know I'm so hot.

unknown 19:52

Like, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Well, I mean, like to me, this seems like delusional shit. Okay. But to somebody else, I can understand that, especially if you're just like searching for something and you're hopeful and somebody's talking to you really nice, and the person is like, Wow's you, you know, and obviously I think the actors and actresses is completely insane if you believe all this stuff, but they can do it with just regular normal people. And then and like there's a okay, so on Facebook, there's even a group of like, I know they do it for men too, but it's like for women. And so that basically you can get on there and say, I'm dating this guy. Here's a picture of him. Something seems off. Does anybody know him? And then all of a sudden they'll be like, oh my God, like this guy has like five different girls, or oh my God, this guy's married with three children. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. Or hello, that one's totally AI. And every time the guy is super hot, AI. Like, I'm I seriously, I feel kind of bad for you. I'm like, so in other words, if he looks really hot, he's not real. So, what is the moral of your story here? Tie this back to the scorpion and the frog for me. Because the score because the frog wanted to believe the scorpion, even though he knows better. Even though you logically, if somebody says, Why do we do that? Why do we do that? And that's why I just see she makes it like I'm stupid and you guys all know feel good. Yes. When somebody's getting catfished, how are they getting catfish? Because it makes them feel good. They're having conversations with them that makes them feel good. And I think I think when they catfish, they hope that you fall in love with them. And so when you find out who they actually are, you don't care because yeah, but everybody would care. That's not, I think a lot of times because they're gonna get some cash out of you and they're bad, horrible, shitty people. Were they born bad? Probably. Or did they have a bad and here's the thing. And if they did have a bad upbringing, not my problem if you just took money out of my wallet. Like I'm just pissed off. Yes, that's very but I think at the same time, it's just that we want things to be a certain way. We want not to have evil in this world. So we want to believe it's not true. Our minds. But the reality is for sure. Yeah. The reality is there's bad, there's evil, there's people who do things that they shouldn't do. And that is why the frog allowed the stupid ass to get on his back. Because he inherently had some frog is good. And he has faith that maybe, just maybe the scorpion won't do it. Isn't a dumbass and kill them both. Right. Just maybe. He's not a dumbass. Or we also want to fix people. That's a bad problem, too. If lots of people have, I want to fix that person. You know what? He stung all the five other people before me, but he won't sting me. He's going to change for me. He won't sting me. That's for sure. He's going

Wanting To Fix Scorpions

SPEAKER_01 22:41

to change for me. Yeah. And nobody's going to ever change. They have to want to change. People can change, but they have to want to change. That was going to be my next question. Do you think that people can change? I think they can if they want to. And I don't think anybody should change for somebody else. So you only change if you yourself think it's important to change. I want to change for me. I, you know, just even if you're talking as simple as people when they're losing weight. If you're losing weight for somebody to love you, you know what I mean? I want to go dating. It's not a purpose to reason to do any of that stuff. You know what I mean? Right. If I drink and I'm alcoholic and I know that it's gotten to prior, it's a problem. And I'm like, but my, you know, significant other is not going to like that, that's not going to stop you from drinking again. You have to like truly say, wow, this is a problem. And I want to want to do it. I just want to change. Whatever that change may be. If I scream at people, if in my relationship I'm always yelling, I'm never going to change because that person doesn't want me to stop, wants me to stop screaming. I'm going to have to change when I realize one day I can't believe that just came out of my mouth and I sound like that. That is ridiculous. I have to stop. That's the only way you're going to change. But do I believe you can change? Yes. If you want to change for yourself. And for nobody else. And for nobody else. Because even like the yelling at somebody, I can sit and say, like, well, I'm, you know, I let's say I'm yelling all the time at my kids or yelling all the time at my husband. And at some point you have to stop and say, This is ridiculous that I'm this angry. Like, why am I this angry? You have to control why am I yelling like this? What is really the root problem of why I'm doing that? And a lot of times I think those things do cause growing up. And it also can come from, you know, you're that's when you can have trauma from when maybe you were a kid that you need to just deal with, or you know, you're just, I don't know. Two different environments of how you grew up causes problems and how do you cope and deal? I mean, there's just a lot of things, but you gotta like want to do that. So yes, I believe people can change for themselves. Which is why working on you is so important. If you work on yourself, everybody's happier. Therapy. Everyone needs therapy. Yes. Yeah. That's very true. Therapy. Everybody needs, yeah. A little bit in their life, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. It's so hard and scary. And I don't think anybody doesn't want to be the best versions of themselves. No, I think everybody wants wants to. But are they willing to put in the work. Put in the work. And you know, I've even talked about it before. I mean, you gotta really look at yourself and people don't really people always give excuses for themselves a lot. I yelled, but that person did this or that. I didn't go to the gym. Here's a prime one for me because my back's hurting me. But if I went to

Change, Therapy, And Doing The Work

SPEAKER_01 25:42

the gym, but if I went to the gym, it'd probably fix my problem. Um, I, you know what I mean? Whatever it is. I didn't prep my food because, you know. I mean, yeah, but look at my work week. It was really crazy or something. You know what I mean? We always have excuses as to why we don't change. And we really could change and make our lives so much better if we put in the work on those things instead of anything else.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

You know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

Why why when we talked about the the Persian version when it was the turtle? What do you mean? Why what? You you lit up when it was the turtle and the turtle had a shell. So it's like believe there's good in every everyone, but keep your shell on. But don't be naive. Yes. That shell is a protecting. I mean, who wouldn't want to be that? I mean turtle. That's not good. Have you ever seen a turtle get hit by a car? Yeah. I don't know if they're totally protected. They're totally protected. I do think that that's the thing. I do think everybody though, that like if and if you were raised in a good, great family, everything was safe and wonderful, it's great, but you have to realize that the world is not at all safe place and a perfect place and filled with just perfect, beautiful people. And I think that having a shell is important to protect yourself. But it's not about being, but I think some people do the shell in a negative manner. Like they won't let people in. I put up my bound, you know, I'm gonna put up a wall because that's true. If I let somebody in, then they're then that means I become vulnerable. And then if I become vulnerable, then I can get hurt. And there's good things you get out of being hurt. That's why like I say, I mean, I'm like, you gotta think about some of the things in your life that some bad people or liars or something that's come around has taught you a lot. Taught me a lot. I can tell you that. I learned a lot from a lot of lying ass people. Yeah. And if you didn't have, yeah, yeah, you're right. You know, you're right. So let's make let's let's turn this into like from a mom perspective, because I feel like what hits me as a mom is we teach our kids our we teach our kids to be nice, we teach them to give chances, we teach them to assume the best in everyone.

Raising Kids With Discernment

SPEAKER_01 28:05

But we don't always teach discernment. We raise frogs. We raise frogs. I know. I will tell you this though, my husband doesn't raise frogs. What does he raise? I would probably raise a bunch of frogs. If I was by myself, I'd probably raise a bunch of frogs. Life is great. We all just want to be happy and be good to each other. He he raises um turt turtles. He for sure raises turtles. How do you raise a turtle? I I'm I'm with I yes, we need to teach these kids to be mentally tough. Yes. So we need to teach them about the scorpions. Yes. Some of it they have to find out themselves to really learn the lesson. I feel like we can preach and preach and preach, and they're just sometimes you have to let your kid you have to let your kids go so they do experience life so that they feel some pain. And then that way you can explain the pain so that they can embrace it as well. I mean, I think it's a lot of people. It's so hard to like watch your kid hurt. It is. Well, you I think you never want to see your kids hurt, struggling. Um, and I always Tom and I we were actually even talking about this the other day, about like even when your kids are adults, it doesn't stop you from always just being like, my God, I hope if something is ever like too hard, I hope that they come and talk to us. Like me as a parent at when they're adults, I shifted compared to me as a parent when you're kids. You know what I mean? Like then I have to be a little more like, you know, well, this is what you need to do, this is how you need to do it, you know what I mean? Like this is what the path we have to take. But when you're an adult, I still want it to be where you can come to be, but have a little more of a friendship relationship so that we can help you through any hard times, whether that's might be a struggle in a relationship and it's just getting rough, or maybe it's financially stuff's getting tight or whatever it may be. Right. You know what I mean? But to help you to understand even more throughout life, because life continues to change, how to stay a turtle. But my husband, all the time, I mean, he's just like sometimes probably like, I don't know. It was always very blunt in my family about like the kids love video games. And so they would be talking about their video games, and we'd every once in a while do a check-in, like of who they're on who do they mainly play with. And if they ever say, Oh, there's this new kid or something like that, we'd be like, Well, do you have you met new kid? Like, is Johnny somebody that you know at school? And they'd be like, Yes. Or if they said, Well, no, I know him through so and so. Are you sure Johnny's not a 60-year-old man in his underwear playing with you?

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Don't they playing with you?

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Yeah. And they'd be like creepy still. Because that could be Mr. Ed in his underwear. Is that your is that your creepy neighbor? Don't didn't you have a creepy neighbor? My son brings it up all the time because he's like, you guys are not normal. The creepy neighbor invites you over and tells you to come in their house. No, you don't go in their house, which see, Casey did not. He never entered the home. I told you not to enter the home. Did you are you stupid enough to do that? But there are always, I mean, I think we always talked about just different people and who to pay attention to and watch for. But my husband was always talking about his dad always did that. He'd say, You see that guy over there? Yeah, he's got problems. Or that guy, yeah, I think he'd probably have molest kids or so, you know. I think I've heard this or that. You know what I mean? So he was always told. He was always told stuff that, like, this guy is uh, yeah, you know, he's gonna watch the girls or he's gonna, you know what I'm saying? It just it was brought to his attention a lot as a kid. That was not always brought to my attention. So being with him has helped me even more. But because of that, we're very like letting it be no, we always reminded the kids, you know. And then we would talk about the van, you know, there's always the kids being taken in a van, you know what I mean? Don't if it's full of puppies, it doesn't mean you go to the van. You know what I mean? Like if it's got free video games, no, you don't go check them out. You know what I mean? Like, very good point. I mean, like stuff like that. They have we just talked about a lot. And he would always talk about right from wrong, good from bad, evil people, people do shit they shouldn't do, people lie about shit they shouldn't. It's kind of fucked up. It all comes back to communication. Yes. So maybe the question isn't, are there bad people?

Believe People When They Show You

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Maybe the question is, are we willing to believe people when they show us who they are? And are we willing to stop drowning trying to save them? You don't have to hate the scorpion, but you also don't have to carry the scorpion. Amen. To that one. Thanks for spending time with us. Take what you need, leave what you don't, and be gentle with yourself. And if you want to stay connected, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at the ARMC. And remember, you're not broken, you're becoming. We'll see you next time.