The ARMC

The Trampoline Test That Explains Why Kids Always End Up Fighting

• Kylie & Gina • Season 3 • Episode 15

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Eight grandkids. One trampoline. About five minutes before somebody’s crying. If you’ve ever planned a “simple, fun family day” and ended up drained, anxious, and wondering what is wrong with everyone, we get it. We start with the Easter chaos that sparked this conversation and quickly land on the question so many overstimulated moms ask: why do kids fight like this now, even with cousins they adore?

We unpack the modern ingredients that make conflict louder and harder to escape: constant interruptions, nonstop tattling, and adults who feel pressured to coach every reaction in real time. We talk about how boundaries used to look when adults were talking and kids were expected to figure things out, and what we lose when kids learn that every frustration earns instant attention. We also dig into how phones and instant gratification can shrink frustration tolerance, turning small disappointments into full meltdowns.

Then we go deeper into family dynamics and the way social media changes everything, from neighborhood accountability to how parents handle disputes. A story about a “stolen bike” accusation shows how fast things can spiral when adults assume “not my kid” instead of stepping back, gathering context, and holding kids accountable without turning it into a public showdown. We leave you with practical mindset shifts, boundary resets, and a reminder we all need: kids fighting does not mean you’re failing. It means you have kids, and you’re learning right along with them.

If this one hits home, subscribe so you don’t miss what we share next, send it to a mom friend who’s in the chaos with you, and leave a quick review so more anxious moms can find us. What’s the one boundary you want to reset this week?

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Welcome To Anxious Mom Life

SPEAKER_00

You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, the podcast for moms who love their kids deeply and still feel anxious, exhausted, and overstimulated.

SPEAKER_01

Here, we talk about the messy stuff, the thoughts we don't say out loud, the pressure to do it all, and the journey back to ourselves. Progress over perfection always. Let's go. You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, the podcast for moms who love their kids deeply, but also sometimes wonder, why are you all fighting like this?

Easter Trampoline Turns Into Chaos

SPEAKER_01

Like you just got a trampoline. Why? Is someone crying? No, literally, this episode is inspired by my family at Easter, and what should have been a dream situation turned into absolute chaos.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Let's get into it and try to not hurt anyone's feelings or have this episode wreck any families. That is not my intention. My mom, being the amazing meanie that she is, decides she's gonna go big this year. She has eight grandkids, ages three to fourteen. I suggested instead of doing baskets and a bunch of individual stuff, I'm like, what if you got something they could all do together? And a few weeks ago, um we have a trampoline at my house. And a few weeks ago, they were all down here after school one day and they were jumping on the trampoline and just having a ball. And so I just said, What if what if you get a trampoline for your house? You have them after school, you'll have them all summer. It's something you can send them, you know, send them to go jump on the trampoline. Yeah. Whatever. And sh and and she loved the idea, but in typical my mom fashion, she did the trampoline and the baskets. So it wasn't just, you know, my idea was just get the trampoline. Hey, here's your big gift, whatever. Right, right. And so we actually ended up putting the trampoline together on Easter. And my dad didn't, he really didn't want to. He was like, We'll get to this, I'll do this later. And I was like, why? We're all here, we can help. Like, whatever. Right. Well, I was surprised he didn't care anyway because he has to mow around it. So there's that. But anyway, you know, our team building exercise. I said we could pretend, we could pretend like we're in an escape room and we can all work together and put this trampoline together. And one of my brothers was like, Yeah, I hate those. I was like, whatever.

SPEAKER_00

I do too.

SPEAKER_01

We've got a lawyer, we've got a nurse, and we've got me, you know, whatever. I'm good at things. But anyway, so we put this trampoline together. And I'm not kidding. Within, you know, well, first we had to like, okay, let us go away. Like, go away, quit jumping on us, quit jumping on things, like, go away, then we can put it together faster. So we get the trampoline put together faster. Fat or we get the trampoline put together, and they're all jumping on it, and within minutes, bawling and squalling and tackling. And it was actually my dad that was like, My God, what is wrong with these kids? I used to hang out with my cousins all the time. We would go and um play all day, get dirty, play, explore, jump on a tramp, whatever. We never fought like this.

SPEAKER_00

No, nobody was ever crying.

SPEAKER_01

No one was ever crying.

SPEAKER_00

Uh-uh.

Why Do Kids Fight So Much

SPEAKER_01

So my first question is why? Why is it so different? My my kids too fight like cats and dogs. It doesn't matter what I do. What happened? What changed? Why can't cousins just all get along? Why do we have to fight? I don't get it.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. I think there's a lot more uh tattling that goes on than ever went on like when I was a kid. I don't feel like we wanted to tattle on each other. And I feel like for some reason these kids are like, Do you know what so-and-so did? Hey, I'm being a good kid, and so-and-so's not.

unknown

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Um, he pushed me. Well, I pushed him back, and then I pushed, then he pushed me back, and then I did that. You know, it's it's different. I mean, we were more worried about like, like when like I had totally can understand your dad because I went every single week. I went to my grandparents' house and my cousins were there. My grandfather had, and grandma and grandpa, they had a um big, huge, like enclosed patio, and in there was like a big wheel for each one of us. And we would literally all get on our own big wheels, ride on out into the backyard, all along the side of the house, and go all over just riding big wheels. They lived in a cul-de-sac, so you'd spin around on those things and have fun. They had a huge hill you'd go down, and we could go. It was just a really cool thing that we could do. None of us were ever, I don't ever remember ever fighting with my cousins. Not ever. They would put up um like things on the trees, and the boys would get BB guns and they'd shoot the targets, you know, for their BB guns. Everything was like, we had something to do, and we were happy to do it. And there was no such thing as if we were to do it, we're not gonna tad a lot on each other for everything. We're gonna like lie together. I mean, like we're gonna cover each other's butt. We're not gonna like get each other in trouble. It's just different.

SPEAKER_01

Like, so are they watching it? Is are they learning that behavior from from us, the generation above them, that we're always comparing and competing and not covering each other's ass. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Like, I just sometimes I think it's a little bit of the of I don't know. J like you guys do get along get around each other probably, you know, more than I think a lot of other families do. But like for me when I was grow up every Sunday to do that, it was very common that lots of families did then. That we were, you know, that families were just like it was a root the regular part of their weekly thing that you got together with your aunts, uncles, and cousins. And I also do think that back then we also were told um to go find something to do. And the adults are talking, like it was definitely more of a world too of the adults are talking, you need to go do what you're supposed to be doing. We we had more of an expectation to not

Tattling Culture And Lost Boundaries

SPEAKER_00

be so in the middle of the adults as I think that these kids are now. Now kids can come in and interrupt their parent while they're speaking, and then a parent will interrupt the adult conversation to just simply start talking to their kids. That would never have been allowed when we were kids. Like if I walked up to my mom and she's talking, she would have put her hand on my hand onto her leg, and that's my warning of I'm talking. Like you're gonna have to wait a minute. But she'd just, you just knew, like, I'll be with you in a minute. But I had to be the one who had to be polite to wait for my mom to speak to me, not hello, hey, hey, hey, hey, mom, mom. I mean, you would have gotten in huge trouble if you ever act like that. And most kids nowadays are allowed, in my opinion, too much to kind of rule the roost.

SPEAKER_01

And oh, 1000%. I am just an inner innocent bystander in their roost. Yes. So, like realistically, that's what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Like realistically, I think that has plays a huge part in it. We understood, like, if you're gonna run in there to go tattle on somebody, I mean, your parents are gonna get probably pretty pissed off at you. Like, seriously, go find something to do with yourselves. This is ridiculous. I mean, you would have been sent back out. The only time there was tears when I was growing up is like my cousin one time, um, he went over their fence, my grandparents' fence or something, and sliced his hand all up, you know. Yeah, a little bit of blood, a little bit of tears. Um, one time I went down on my bike, you know, and I fell off and scraped the crap out of my knee. I was fine till I looked at my knee and then I was bawling. You know what I mean? Like those were the only times you saw tears, but there was like it was serious like accidents. My brother, in my brother's way, he ran through their sliding glass door. I mean, glass did that door. Like, hello, you know, a little bit of a problem. So, I mean, that's the only time he ever had tears. You didn't not have we just weren't arguing. We were not doing that stuff.

SPEAKER_01

It's constant. So-and-so's bouncing, so-and-so hit me, so-and-so won't get off the swing, so-and-so won't do this. Like, yes, and we try. I feel like me and my siblings all are like, okay, well, it's not that bad. No one's bleeding, no one died, but like I don't know how to collectively like get them to just be together without bitching and fighting all the time. It's exhausting.

SPEAKER_00

I think we also don't have the world of um, I know if I was out in that cul-de-sac

Social Media Changed Neighbor Accountability

SPEAKER_00

screwing around, my parents didn't have to be out front to watch. If I knew any of those neighbors saw us doing something we weren't supposed to be doing, they'd go tell the parents we got in trouble. That doesn't happen anymore. They'll be posted on it. Oh, heck yeah. Can you believe that this person was speaking to my child that way? When it's just like, Jesus. I tried to drop a dog off with someone and I was plastered on Facebook. Right. Like it's crazy. And that has a lot to do with our problems, too. I mean, like, we are way too, I don't know, record everybody. So if you like the kids, they see all this, they see it even on TV. I mean, TV shows show. And I don't like it. And I don't like the way the world's going, and I want it to go back. I don't like it. Yeah, there's there's a lot that we're losing and that our kids are missing out on because of the I definitely am happy the way I was that the world was back when it was the way it was. I'm so glad, like, not to have all this social media, which I'm really fortunate. Like, even like Kylie, at her age right now, she should be nothing but social media, but she's just not, she's not that into it, which is great because then it doesn't like warp her mind. Like she'd rather go out and do something. Like right now, she's into pickleball. So she'll go and she'll meet with friends and play pickleball all the time during free time. Or she'll do sand volume. She loves it. And she um she's doing that, and then like the weather will warm up and then they always play sand volleyball. So she'll go and she'll do that too. And she's not even like a kid who's involved in a sport, but like she a lot of kids that aren't involved in sports don't really do a whole lot of anything. And yet she still likes to go and play these different things instead of sitting around on on a phone and social media. But I'm glad that I didn't have that. Just to be meaner. I mean, kids are mean, kids are mean, like they're all they've always been mean. That's that's are mean. But adults are even meaner. And now, and adults are even more um I mean, just like I said, if an adult came to your house to say, this kid, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know what I mean?

The Stolen Bike Accusation Story

SPEAKER_00

And you would be offended at how dare they come to my door. I uh it reminds me of like.

SPEAKER_01

I'd probably be like, go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_00

And that's the problem. Like, we had we had an incident actually where Casey had a situation with a kid that lived not far from us, and they didn't get along very well. And ultimately, this kid started constantly accusing him of stealing his bike, and Casey's like, I didn't steal this kid's bike. And then the dad comes to our house. Now, he doesn't bother to come and get any of us. He just talks to my son, tells him to open up our garage. He wants to look in there because he believes that we have his bike. We don't have this dude's bike. Okay. So, whatever. I mean, I we didn't even worry about it. At that point, he'd already been shown. I mean, I even told him, like, what the hell? You're showing somebody in my garage? Like, you should have at least told me. I mean, I still would have let him look and whatever said, okay, dude, nothing in my garage. We don't have a bike. Well, the kid kept insisting for whatever reason that it was Casey that took his bike. So they went to Greatskate, and all of a sudden, we get a our doorbell rings. This is probably 9:30, 9, 9:30 at night, and they were having they were all at Great Skate. And um, my husband goes to the door, and this the wife, well, the dad kind of takes a step back when he sees my husband because he's not when somebody's coming to our door at night, anyways, he's not exactly the guy you probably expected to see on the other side. So he's not Mr. Friendly looking. And so he opens up the door and um she starts like just going off about how her precious little baby is at the skating rink with our son, and our son is calling him, and she starts going on these curse words. Like, I'm like going, okay, as an adult and a mother and a woman that understands how you should present yourself to somebody you've never met in your life. I'm not gonna talk like I just walked out of Hoosierville and like and just start saying MFR and everything. I mean, I would have said, I would have chosen my words a little differently and at least said, I'm here because your son has threatened to like beat my son up, which is what she was telling us. Okay. And she said that um, but she then said, and that how my son's foul mouth, which mind you, I don't allow my kids to cuss at our house with us at all. Like that's never been allowed when they were grown up. And but I'm not stupid. Every kid cusses when they're and kids. It's plenty of cusses when they're somewhere.

SPEAKER_01

And I was like, what?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like it's I get it when you're around your friends. We've had all of our talks about all that, anyways. But ultimately, she goes on these all these choice words that she says that he was saying, you know. And my husband just suddenly says, Listen, I'm not standing there with my son right now, so I have absolutely no idea what it is he's saying. And he's not allowed to speak like that here, but I'm certainly not gonna tell you what he's doing when he's off at, you know, at the skate rank by himself. I can't tell you until I speak to my son. And she's like, Well, my, like her precious little baby boy would never use those words, and he's scared to death, and he's just like the sweetest thing on earth. So he's like, Listen, I'm gonna go to the rink, I'm gonna go pick my son up, and I'll talk to him, and then we'll be back in touch with you. And so they were fine. Because the wife, after a little bit, kind of backed up off the porch, and then I think the dad realized that we're normal people, we don't approach people crazy because your son called you like a crybaby is not that's like come on, like you gotta they're boys, you know what I mean? So Tom leaves and he goes and he picks Aust um Austin. He picked up Casey and a couple of his buddies because they were all together, and um they call me, and Casey um tells me he's like, So um I did tell that kid I was gonna beat him up. And he said, I told him to meet me out front. And I'm like, okay. You were gonna beat him up or you're gonna kick his ass, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01

I heard you use some explicitly.

SPEAKER_00

And I said, Well, I like clarifying. So he said a couple of the words that she said, he's like, I don't even use those words, so I didn't say that. I did say a couple of the other ones, but he said, but I want you to understand why. And I'm like, okay. And he said, This kid kept coming up to me telling me I stole his bike. And he said, after he continually came up to me telling me how I stole his bike and going on and on and on, and believe me, mom, he had some pretty choice words as he was saying things to me as well. And I said, Okay. And he goes, And you can ask all of my friends if he says those words or not. And they were all in the car and they said, Yes, he does. He uses them all the time. And I'm like, okay. And I'm like, and for me personally, I'm like, I understand people are mad, people say stuff anyways, whatever. But he's like, I didn't say everything she said because that's I can't even believe she came to your door and even said that said those words, you know. So I'm like, okay, that's fine. So he's like, I would have never told him he till after I finally heard enough. I told him, you know what, dude? If you think I stole your bike so bad, let's go out front and and we can fight or we can fight out front. Well, then of course he starts crying like a little baby and he calls his mom.

SPEAKER_01

Because he's scared.

SPEAKER_00

Because he's scared, you know. And that's where I'm like, I feel like even back in the day, like when I was growing up, that's more or less how it would happen. Like some kids would say some stupid shit. Somebody finally say, All right, dude, come on, let's go outside, I'll whip your ass. You know what I mean? Like, I've had enough. And it would be done. So, like, I even think some of the times during the kids when my kids were younger, they still were not completely social media enough to do the to for like you had some of it because like that kid's just Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Now the mom would like verbally accost you via Facebook Messenger.

SPEAKER_00

Like she would have blessed on social media that my son's the worst thing ever. But I mean, we went to her house the next morning, and of course her son made an ass of himself while we were staying there. So it all worked out to be where I'm like, okay. I mean, like you gotta kind of you gotta see big picture, and it should be where parents should be talking, not immediately coming to my home. Actually, like an idiot, like my son's done, and you think your son's in. I mean, she many times told us what a sweet little baby boy she had. You know what I mean? And I'm like, you have a and that's hard.

SPEAKER_01

You have a boy all our precious little angels that don't do any wrong. But that's that's but the reality.

SPEAKER_00

It's that's the thing about it is I think sometimes people forget, were you a child? Did you have friends? Like, do you remember how kids act? I mean, we're we were all kids at one point in time, and for some reason, these kids are raised by people who believe, but not my baby. Not my previous baby.

SPEAKER_01

Where did we have yeah, where did that come from? Because I feel like I'm pretty good about like, okay, but what did you do to provoke that?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You know, I mean, like, people don't just come up to you and like, and nothing, you you just were the most, I mean, not to say it can never happen, but unless you're in a bullying situation, that can happen. But otherwise, typically when you have a lot of different instances, your kid played a part in it. And I think nowadays everybody's like, no, nope, not my kid. Nope. That my kid would never. If they did that, your kid did something. I mean, kids are kids, and just like when he was, when that lady even was telling him, well, she's he's over there cursing and saying all these words. I mean, maybe he is. I how do I know what my kid does when he's not standing next to me? Because if he was standing next to me, he'd be in big ass trouble to sit and talk like that. You know what I mean? And I think, and you know what you instill in them, you know what you try to teach them, but that doesn't mean I mean, I did plenty of things when my parents were not around that they definitely do not know was going on. And it, you know, like, come on.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

We all were kids, we all did stuff. No, I'm not sure. I guarantee my parents has things that they've done that they probably are like, yeah, my parents never knew we were this or that. I mean, like, it's just it's we're kids.

SPEAKER_01

But just like you said earlier, like, if if you came up and tried to interrupt an adult, I think it all circles back to us as the adults, drawing the boundaries. Like, if I'm having a conversation with another

Not My Kid And Other Parenting Myths

SPEAKER_01

another adult, zip it. Zip it. You know what I mean? And holding our own children accountable because and it's it's not that we're saying that these kids are evil. We're saying that everyone needs to have boundaries and everybody needs to be taught what it is to be polite and a kind individual individual, you know.

SPEAKER_00

And I do think, like, I do think no matter what, like, you know how we evolve as people, right? I mean, even as humans, we evolve. So I do think there's certain parts of that, I think, even into what we learn and intellectually and then what happens and what like having phones before, like when when I was little, there was not phones like this. So now there's phones. You could be two years old and zipping around on a phone. Like we just continually are always evolving things. And it's just funny that you just said zip it, because I always tell my grandkids zip it when they're getting on my nerves. Zip it, zippy. And one night we were I was putting the two boys to sleep at our house, and I'm I'm always like laying on the floor, and um Levi's sitting there babbling, and I'm like, listen, zip it. And he he sat there for a moment, and then he sat straight up and he goes, Mimi, zip your mouth. And it's just little things like that that I'm like, see, other kids would like when even my kids wouldn't have done that, they would have just been like irritated, maybe that somebody told them zip it, but then they just go to sleep. They're mouthing.

SPEAKER_01

But they're worries and some mouthing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but now he's like, and of course I laughed. I mean, because it was pretty dang funny. Yeah. And I tell I told him I said, I have my mouth zipped, so now it's time to zip yours and then lay back down. And he did, it was fine, but it's just funny. But it's like I do think some of it is that we evolve. I mean, we the the kids are involved in a mall.

SPEAKER_01

So those those boundaries can be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and I don't care, but as a parent, like I don't have to be so strict with my grandkids.

SPEAKER_01

That's kind of the point. I don't know what I would have to do though to have my children not back talk me. Like, short of beating them with in an inch of their life, they will not stop. And they've probably gotten it from me, yes. And you've tolerated it.

SPEAKER_00

And I've tolerated it from when they were younger.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, sometimes they're hilarious.

SPEAKER_00

Because like that's the thing about it is you really like like you know, you know what kind of kids you have, especially by the time they're three and four, you for sure and even already know. Like, you know which one's gonna be a bigger pain in the butt as they get older, who you know who's gonna be more mouthy, you know who's gonna push your buttons. Like you just know. And it just comes down to so did you let it be known though that certain things aren't tolerated and stay strict, or did you kind of let things slide?

SPEAKER_01

I have one of them that's started to talk to herself very loudly. So, like if I make her mad, she'll go to the bathroom and it's like and I'm like, oh my god, would you shut the hell up? We can all hear you. We all know you are not happy right now. Would you shut the hell up? And I literally have to say, you've got get it together, girl. Deep breaths, get it together. That's one of the things that I'm hoping that we can work through in therapy is how to regulate our emotions. Yeah. Because we're both very emotional. And so we will we'll get in a, you know, screaming match over over hair. I told her yesterday, just yesterday, when she she had a dance last night and she's like, Will you do my hair? And it's not that I can't help her do her hair, it's that it's never good enough. So it's like a an hour event of Doing her hair and then redoing her hair. And I'm like, I am going to cut your hair in the middle of the night. I'm going to give you a nice pixie cut. So this is not an issue. Um, but then I'll do her hair and then it's not good enough, and I'll hear her in the bathroom. Well, if it was your hair, you would redo your hair. And I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, this isn't right.

SPEAKER_00

This isn't normal.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I think that's the thing. I think it's it's there's definitely where you have it's just a created thing through years. You didn't end

Setting Limits And Emotion Regulation

SPEAKER_00

up where some you have somebody who's 12 and 15 doing and being the way they are in certain ways that you didn't help at along as parents.

SPEAKER_01

For sure. So we need to just we need to do a better job of communicating and we need to do a better job of setting those boundaries so they know that being little assholes in the world is is not acceptable. Or when they come to tattle on if someone's not bleeding or dead, there's no reason for you to be in here.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Like every that's the whole thing, I think, is especially when you have like a situation of cousins or something like that, it's like almost the adults have to get together to have a decision of how that's made. Just because if you have somebody who's kind of like, well, but not my babies, and the other one's like, well, you know, punishes theirs, maybe somebody doesn't do their you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01

Like if there's all these different boundaries in different ways, it doesn't, it's gotta be a clear and it all goes probably deeper rooted because so-and-so's kids mean to so-and-so, and it's there's a reason behind it, and it's good to hear their parents talk, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Like it's there's a lot that goes on, there's a lot that contributes to it. But I mean, really, cousin time should be fun time. It should be nothing but fun time, it should be enjoyable, creating great memories, and people that you have in your life long term that you are really thankful that you have when you're adults. It's kind of one of the things I used to even tell the boys all the time when they were growing up was even when they'd be mad at each other arguing about something, was that in the end of the day, these are the people you will always have. And when it really comes down to it, you might even think that your friends are the ones that are gonna dive in and help you out, all these different situations that you have, but it's actually your family members when you're really down and out that have to that'll pick you up. They feel more connected to the obligation, I guess, in a way, or however you want to say it, that to do that for you. I tell my kids that all the time.

SPEAKER_01

When something happens to me, you two are all you've got. So if you start this shit now, it you'll have nobody. Like you two are all you've got. And that little it'll land for about 90 seconds. It's touching each other in each other's rooms. I'm like, my God, just stay. Stop it. Stop it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. But some of that's normal. I mean, everybody, I think even back when we were, I mean, we fought and argued with siblings, and I think that's pretty normal. You know what I mean? I just think it is. I just think you have to always be reminded because there does come a point in your life. Because even like, you know, uh, you know, your kids get older, they become adults, they have relationships with different people, that also sends into different dynamics of how they even as siblings get along anymore. But I think the reality of it is that like making sure they always they'll remember, don't lose complete connection with your family. It's just not, it never, ever will do you well to do that. It will, they are the people who, no matter what happens, will have your back. No matter what goes on, they will do whatever for you. And so they just have to always be reminded of that. And if you are lucky enough to be a family that has cousins coming around regularly, those are the next people in line. So it's extremely important. You may get on each other's nerves. You may not agree on everything, but ultimately it's important to know that that is truly the main people that you will have in your life to support you, help you. When you're really like lost, they will help you find your way. And yes, friends go come along and they they can be helpful and they can do some things for you, but they never will they will never ever go to the length because they have their own family and their own responsibilities there too, which is where everybody should be the most.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You know what I mean? For sure. Which is one of the reasons I think we have such problems anymore, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I feel like kids today

Unstructured Play And Family Loyalty

SPEAKER_01

have less unstructured struggle, you know. I feel like back in the day we had hours to figure it out, not an adult stepping in every 30 seconds. Now it's be kind, take turns, say sorry, let's regulate. We're overcoaching every reaction. Sometimes I think we need to just take a step back too and let the kids be kids and let them handle it. But the adults need to be on the same page to let that happen. Because a lot of times I feel like you mentioned my kid's perfect. It wasn't my kid. Well, it was that kid. It's always Vince's fault. It's always Vince's fault. He's so danky. He is so freaking cute. And he is the sweetest. But I'm telling you, if anything goes wrong in anyone's life, it seems like it's Vince's fault. No, I'm kidding. But um He can be Henri, but he uh it's not always his fault. Sometimes he's antagonized. He doesn't get credit enough for that.

SPEAKER_00

But it's and I think you have that anyways. I mean, that's just like even in RS. I think it's really even in my in the two grandsons that that um are of age to be able to have these discussions about um a lot of times people think like that Easton is like not really at fault, that it's more Levi who's really the problem because Levi's easy to instigate.

SPEAKER_01

But that must be me because it's Nora too. It's it's always yeah. And and she'll even say, Oh, it's always my fault. If if someone's in trouble, it's me. Or we're both in trouble. It's never just him. So uh there's something to say about that. It's and it's and yet if you the more difficult one is less in less trouble because they're difficult.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes. And and you know, um if you pay attention and you watch, you will see if if that the uh there's people who are antagonizing, and that's why all of a sudden, you know, Levi might do something or throw a punch or whatever. And then other people will be like, What are you doing? Because they didn't see the sneaky little aggravating evasion that just happened just before prior to.

SPEAKER_01

That's why it's always Vince's. They don't see the other ones that are doing something through a truck at his head. It's his intensity.

SPEAKER_00

It's his reaction is what gets the attention. Yeah. You know what I mean? Rather than the reality of what probably just completely came about. And um, I don't know. That's why I'm always like, I like to see big picture because you have too many kids that that's the problem. You know, they were instigated, it they just handle a little bit more vocally or uh aggressively than others, and it doesn't make them to be like a problem child by any means. It just makes it to be that you have to pay attention.

SPEAKER_01

And I would say kids definitely have a lower frustration tolerance.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Um because honestly, I I don't think they have to wait for much anymore. No.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. Everything is instant, it snacks, shows attention. So when something doesn't go their way, it's meltdown city. Every single freaking time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I feel like there's definitely way more meltdowns from kids that I you see everywhere, everywhere I go. I I see a lot more of it anymore. Even like when you go to the store and there's like kids screaming or acting up or whatever, I want to seriously like go say something to the parents about it's your fault your kids doing that.

SPEAKER_01

That's funny. I have a yeah, I have a uh recent story that I'm going to omit sharing because it's not my story to tell. But it's like you're the apparent, and maybe you shouldn't let your child call my child's iPad 78 times. You need to be dialed in on that. Not my story to tell. So we'll leave that for another time when I get the permission that I need to share that story. But yeah, it's tough. We're raising these kids in a tough, tough, tough world.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think we definitely are. Everything's changed. There's a lot going on. There's a lot more for them to navigate through each and every year as they get older. And through that, we should be helping them navigate into um mature, happy adults rather than focusing how we just need to protect or shelter them from every single thing because we don't. That's not really what's gonna help them out in the end.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely.

Reassurance And How To Stay Connected

SPEAKER_01

At the end of the day, kids fighting doesn't mean they're ungrateful, it means they're learning. And maybe our parents remember the good parts and forget the chaos. Because I refuse to believe nobody cried at the Wagner's. Exactly. There was definitely at least one dramatic cousin.

SPEAKER_00

If your kids were a little unhinged after Easter, you're not alone. And it doesn't mean that you're failing, it means you have kids. And maybe a trampoline was ambitious. Progress over perfection. Always. Thanks for spending time with us.

SPEAKER_01

Take what you need, leave what you don't, and be gentle with yourself. And if you want to stay connected, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at the ARMC. And remember, you're not broken, you're becoming. We'll see you next time.