The ARMC
Two anxiety ridden Moms and professionals taking on life and work. We've come together to talk about it all and formed The Anxiety Ridden Moms Club or ARMC for short. Welcome to our show, we look forward at what's to come. Thank you for joining us every week for a new episode.
The ARMC
Nice vs. Kind: Why Respect Still Matters
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Respect is not just “good manners,” it is the difference between raising a kid who can function in the real world and raising a kid who thinks the world owes them something. We sit down as two anxiety ridden moms and try to untangle a surprisingly loaded question: what is the difference between being nice and being kind, and why does it feel like respect for elders is slipping away?
From a kid with a busted ankle and a little too much sass, to heartbreaking stories about how the elderly get treated, we dig into what we can actually do at home to build empathy. We talk about how entitlement shows up in everyday parenting, why so many people default to defensiveness, and what happens when kids learn they can “win” by wearing parents down. We also share a concrete idea that sticks: putting kids in situations where they can practice dignity and compassion, like volunteering at a nursing home, so kindness becomes real and not just a slogan.
Then we get honest about the hardest layer: co parenting and divorce. When one parent enforces boundaries and the other undermines them, discipline turns into a competition and kids learn to play both sides. We unpack how to hold consequences without losing connection, how to respond so kids still come to us with the hard stuff, and why consistency matters more than being the “fun” house. If you are navigating parenting anxiety, overstimulation, and the daily fear of “Am I raising an asshole?”, this one is for you.
Subscribe, share this with a fellow mom who needs it, and leave a review so more parents can find us. What boundary are you getting uncomfortable enough to enforce this week?
Welcome To Anxious Mom Life
SPEAKER_01You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, the podcast for moms who love their kids deeply and still feel anxious, exhausted, and overstimulated. Here, we talk about the messy stuff, the thoughts we don't say out loud, the pressure to do it all, and the journey back to ourselves. Progress over perfection always. Let's go.
SPEAKER_02Welcome back to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, where today's episode, we have no idea what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_00We have so much in our minds.
SPEAKER_02So much in our minds. And sometimes we pick a topic, we know what we're going to talk about, and then it doesn't work out. And that's that's
Nice Versus Kind Gets Real
SPEAKER_02okay. But the plan for today was to talk about the difference between being a nice person and a kind person and which one we should all aspire to be. Um but this is like our fourth take because the words just aren't coming to us.
SPEAKER_00So here we go. I think that here we go. The I think where one of the reasons is that we get kind of we were getting kind of caught up in the fact that nice versus kind and nice is superficial, and kind is more intentions and doing things and deeper, right? It's deeper, which is kind of like got us talking about like grandparents and how the world is not the same anymore. Anyway, so I think that when it comes to nice and kind, it makes me really think about um just the world and the things that are going on and the changes that have been happening even in our youth. And I have noticed, like in over the last several years, that um kids and even the way that they treat their grandparents, um, we used to always have a lot of respect, or we're told you had to have a lot of respect for your grandparents. And um, even though I definitely believe that grandparents that are not as kind, I understand that that's why sometimes people maybe aren't as kind back. But I do think there's a lot for us to learn from the elderly. And instead we have people who've there's been it was an old lady. I read a story. There was a an elderly lady and she was um on her walker and somebody walked down the street and just threw her to the ground. Like horrible stories. Like that's I just guess the nice and kind to get me just thinking about how we've lost a lot of respect um for our elders, just like you should respect me because I am your elder.
SPEAKER_02You are my elder, and I do respect you. Um Nora and I had this
Respecting Elders Starts At Home
SPEAKER_02conversation literally just yesterday about respecting your elders. So she one day this week, I got a call from school that she um fell down at recess and was in the office crying. Um, and her she destroyed her ankle. Um, and probably shame on me because I did not take her the rising cost of healthcare. I was like, I'm sure it's just a sprain. Sprains I've heard, I've experienced. Well, I haven't experienced because I haven't broken my ankle, but I've heard that sprains are, you know, just as bad as or hurt worse than a break. Um, so I'm like, let's just ice it, do, you know, the ibuprofen all of the things. But she has been reliant on every single person, you know, in this house for a week. Um, and she was getting a little sassy yesterday. And um she's actually staring at me on the other side of this computer, but um, was getting a little sassy yesterday. And I'm like, okay, we have to respect our our elders. And she's like, I don't, I don't, you're not my elder. I'm like, I am your elder because I'm older. Um, but how do we bring respect back into this world? Because it's so easy to pop off and call names and well, whatever the case, you know, like it just I I feel like this whole world is missing respect.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I think that um I mean, it always I mean stems from at home, let's be honest. I mean, it all comes down to what what the hell is that supposed to mean? She insults me. Hey, I'm your elder. I'm here to teach you something. Well, get to teachin'. Get to teaching. I do think though it starts at home. And I think that a lot of I think a lot of people, even in my age group, that had um a lot of respect for, you know, our grandparents and um listening to them. I think some of them also lost touch when they started raising their own kids and didn't really instill the fact that um there's a lot to learn from your grandparents. There's a lot of um additional benefits you get from even having them in your life. I mean, it they give so much extra, I don't know, love and attention and things that they can teach you about the world. And um, you know, so they go to school and they learn whatever history book that you got in front of you, but it's not the same as what your grandparents could sit there and actually teach you about and explain and yeah.
SPEAKER_02Experience, right? If the more you experience, the more you know. But I guess my I go back to the question, like what where did the switch come from? Where did we go? Because I, you know, lived in a world where you respect your elders, your grandparents, your parents, you don't cuss around them, you don't yell, fight, scream, whatever, you know, whatever the case may be. Like you get your ass kicked if you disrespect a parent, a grandparent. So where did we go so wrong in the world? Why is it the way that it is? And how do we get it back? And how do we instill in our children
Nursing Home Work And Dignity
SPEAKER_02how to be kind?
SPEAKER_00I don't know, but I do think one thing that um even I was watching, uh scrolling through and sawing Gary V was he was talking about even um you can volunteer like at nursing homes. So I can so when I actually was 22, I think, years old, um, I had moved. And when I did, um, I needed any sort of job. And so I ended up working in a nursing home. And at first, and I always one thing I can tell you, like I have was lucky enough to have great grandparents in my life, and I have had both sets of grandparents in my life, and so I was around a lot of those, you know, older um people in my life, and so I was very comfortable with that. But even going to a nursing home when I first started doing that, it was just um somewhat, I don't I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Wait, so you just went to a nursing home and home. I started working there. I didn't have a nursing home.
SPEAKER_00I moved and I needed a job. And it was like the first job that I was able to get right then. I was like 22 years old, needed work. Sorry. And um, so I ended up working at a nursing home. And it honestly, I like I even was telling my daughter this recently. I'm like, I had a time where there was aides that always would help like feed some of the um people who needed help. And I was like, Oh, I don't know if I can do that, you know, like uh, and then one girl asked me one time, she's like, I'm really in need of some assistance. Could you help me? And I'm like, well, okay, I guess I will. And I tore that it was amazing how even after I did that, I kind of fell in love with doing it. And so then I helped do my other jobs faster so I could actually go over there and help feed those people. And um, I do really What did you enjoy about it? I I think I just enjoyed the fact that that person has lived their life and probably given to so many people in so many ways. And it doesn't have to, it can be whether it's financially, whether it's through hard work, whether it's just a lot of love, whatever it is, that person's lived a life and here they are struggling. They can't even feed themselves and they need assistance. And I just think it's, I don't know, like I would want somebody to treat me with dignity if those things happened to me. And I think it just made me kind of realize like these people really like the elderly deserve respect and they deserve
Entitlement And Offense Culture
SPEAKER_00help. The elderly do deserve respect.
SPEAKER_02You know what I think it is? I think that we are raising kids that think that they know it all and they don't want to take advice and they don't want to take, you know, anything anybody else has to tell them or give them because they they know it all. Um, and and apart from knowing it all, we're we're in a world right now where everyone is offended by everything. Everything offends people, everything offends, you know what I'm saying? Like if if somebody gives you cons constructive criticism, you don't take it, learn from it, and grow.
SPEAKER_00You get pissed off because you know it all and you're the best. And well, it's no different than when I was a kid. The neighbors who are down the street, they if they saw you doing something you weren't supposed to do and they went to your parents' home, your parents listened. Now they don't listen. Now they're mad or upset or they're they think, you know, wait a minute, my you can't be talking about my kids. So I think it's just like just like if we went out, we were told to go out, we didn't have cell phones. So we were told to go out and run the streets. We could do that until the street lights came on and then we had to go home. That was your indication. Street lights come on, you better get your butt home. But during that time, I think somewhat to some degree, parents also knew other people were watching their kids. So, like if you did something, you knew to respect the other people's property, the other people's lawn. You know, people would come out and they'd be mad if you rode your bike through their lawn or something. You know what I mean? Like you had to be respectful, or your parents were gonna find out you were gonna get in trouble. I don't think that exists anymore. I think that if you got found out, somebody'd say, you know, what's wrong with that person? I mean, really, did my kid really drive through lawn, or who cares if they drove through your lawn? It doesn't really matter. There's just a bike. You know what I'm saying? It's like we always go into this world of defensive.
SPEAKER_02What what causes that though? Like what is is it like it's entitlement? That highly of ourselves and that highly of our kids that they can entitlement. How do we fix entitlement? Why, why do we live in a world where everybody thinks that everybody owes them something? Well, I think some of it, you know what I mean? Like
Fighting Kids And Real Consequences
SPEAKER_02let's I was gonna say, let's take Six Flags, for example. Apparently there were hundreds of kids in brawls in the parking lot in six at Six Flags last weekend. And so now the Eureka police department are increasing, you know, coverage and all kinds of things. And they brought a um chaperone, not a curfew. A chaperone. Like if you're less than a chaperone policy, that if you're under 16, you have to have someone 21 or older with you to go to like what happened to we're lovers, not left, not fighters. Why does everybody want to fight? I don't, I don't understand. Like, I can't imagine. For one, when I was under 16, if my parents let me go to an amusement park with my friends, like there is no way I would act like an asshole. Because you know what I'm saying? Like, I I respect myself and the people I'm around more than that. Like, well, what do you get out of starting fights in a parking lot? Like, I just don't understand. I really don't. And I think as parents, we need to do a better job. We need to do a better job of teaching our kids how we behave in this world and how we don't. And I don't know how. And I don't know, I trust me, I don't have the answers. I heard from my boyfriend and my mom this week, in regards to my kids, they have to have real consequences. And when it comes to real consequences for my children, here's what I will tell you. If I hand down real consequences, they are the most annoying motherfuckers you can you would imagine, you can imagine. Like if I hand down real consequences and say, give me your phone, okay, I will be tortured.
SPEAKER_00That's what the problem is. Until they get their to that. So, like, and I can tell you, like for me, I've never been one to like, I don't take cell phones and I never like, I didn't do traditional groundings because it to me, I don't know. I didn't like them. They weren't as I if I was giving them punishment anyways, it had to be somewhat entertaining to punish them. I know it sounds probably kind of crazy, but I had to have some sort of entertainment to it. I think part of the re reality of it is though, too, is that the young, that the younger generation is raising their kids and somewhat involving them in adult life too much. So they're becoming a little more of on a friend level, which when you live with your kids, you're not their friends. They don't need you as a friend. They have plenty of people to be around. They need you to be their mom, their dad, whatever. And so I think that that creates where when you lose your voice as a friend, if you're not saying this, if I say you're not doing that anymore. Like I was always like, I mean, and I've had times where people are like, oh, because I'll be like, I'm a three times in you're out. You know, so like I'll say, stop doing that. Um, excuse me. I just told you to stop doing that. Then on the third time I'll say, and I'm not saying it to you again. I'm like, because if I come, if you make me go further than this, it's it's not a good thing. The third time I'm gonna beat the shit out of you. And my kids just knew, like you stopped. Because I would at that point, I'm invested. I'm invested in making you unhappy. And that could be that I'm in a maybe they're swimming in the pool and I'm you're getting out. Maybe it's you're gonna and I don't care. And if you whine, oh, I'll make your life worse. So the kids, I think the kids, too many of them think they're gonna win. So see if they annoy you, they keep annoying you, well, they win. And so I think all these kids in the world have won too many things, even at home. That's why I think a lot of it does time at home for the ones that are really out of control. So, I mean, we'd be talking about situations where like you have good, you have good kids, they're genuinely good kids, right? It's not like they're out doing anything horrible. But at the same time, it's like it's a frustration of um who's in power, and the parents are supposed to be the ones in power of their home. But you get to the point where it's even more of a dysfunction in that manner, and that's why we have these kids who just go do whatever they want whenever they want. They don't think they need to be home at a certain time. No parents are really responsible or taking charge of what's going on with their in their lives, and that's why it's getting worse and worse and worse. And we're having kids stabbing kids for no reason, shooting kids for no reason. There are more guns in these, in the youth's hands than I've ever seen before. And I always sit and wonder, like, why? But to some degree, where are your, I mean, you gotta at some point say, where are the parents? I mean, like, the parents have to be paying attention to what their kids are doing. Like, you have to pay attention to what who your kids are friends with. I mean, if I'm, I mean, my daughter comes home and she has her friends, I am always like interested in getting to know them, know what kind of kid they are, what kind of things do they do right, wrong, or indifferent. So I know what to pay attention to. Because my daughter's gonna get pulled into that at some point somehow. And I trust that she's responsible and she's gonna make the right choices, but what at least is she gonna be up against so I can help her? And I think that if you have kids in situations where that type of the friendships can really bring them down a bad path, um, it gets makes it worse and worse and worse. Because I mean, honestly, I just can't, for the life of me, fathom anybody when I was young putting their hands on someone who was an was your elder. I couldn't even fathom. I mean, just like an innocent old lady w walking down a street and to be thrown to the ground, like I don't understand. Or there's like parties that I've seen pictures where they're fly kids are flashing guns and they're 14 years old. Why are we doing this? I mean, you know, when you said about fighting in the parking lot, there were fights in the parking lots when I was a kid, but it was usually a set time. Like it would be like, I will meet you at 7 p.m. in the Tappel Bell parking lot. And I will let everyone know
Parent First So They Still Talk
SPEAKER_00to witness to kick your ass.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. So I had a um the Drew Barrymore show playing in the background yesterday, and um, she had Matthew McConaughey on as a guest, and he was talking about, you know, obviously raising kids. And he's like, you know, when you think about raising kids, you think about obviously parenting them. He's like, and then you hope that later on in life you get to be their friend. He said, but what I didn't realize is that there's a period that I want to be the friend. He said, because if they come to you and they bring something to you, you can react, you can blow up, you can, you know, what he's like, but then they're not gonna, they're not gonna come back to you. You know, you have these little opportunities when you're parenting to like shape, I guess, shape your your child and your relationship uh through communication and and how you respond or react. So they're gonna tell you something and you're gonna be like in the back of your mind, you're gonna be like, holy shit, what is happening right now? He's like, but you've got to control and kind of kind of be that big brother, that big sister to say, you know, I've experienced this. This is how I think you should handle it. He's like, because if you blow up and you lose your, lose your mind, the next time they're not gonna come to you. And I just think that it speaks to a lot of the struggles that I have as a parent, that it's like, I want a parent, but I also want them to feel comfortable coming to me. And I want them, especially, hey, now I'm divorced and like why it's gonna be turning 16 before long. And then after 16 comes 18, and like I'm petrified of the day he comes to me and is like, I want to live with my dad. And so it's like, well, if I have consequences and hold him accountable here, and on the flip side, his dad doesn't, where is he gonna want to be? And that scares the shit out of me. Um and I think that that sometimes affects my parenting or the decisions that I make because I'm so scared I'm so I have pushing my kid away.
SPEAKER_00All this butting, am I raising an asshole? Okay, so in my opinion, um, I understand the idea of the, I guess. Okay, like I want my like my daughter, especially being girls. You know, you can, it's easier to even find yourself being like, you know, I want her to be someone on a friend level. But I think that I have it so much in my mind of we will become friends as she gets older. But that doesn't mean that when all of a sudden your kid comes to you with a hard decision, parenting doesn't mean I'm here to discipline you, yell at you, and tell you you can't. That's there's there's a that doesn't make me all of a sudden their friend either. Like I think you have to be that I am, we can have fun. I like I think that's a huge part. I think if your kids have fun with you, if you go places and do things, you laugh, you joke, you have a good time. That's kind of your, I mean, somewhat form, I guess, of a friendship. But the reality of it is at the end of the day, I'm mom. But yet my daughter tells me anything and everything because I don't start yelling at her when she tells me something. When she does talk to me, you you I think the biggest thing is parent, people always feel like, well, if you go into parent mode, then you're gonna all of a sudden start being like, you're doing what? Your friends are what? I don't want you being with that person. This can't happen. Well, why is that happening? And the reality is you have to stop and take a deep breath and just think, okay, if she's talking, I have to let her totally talk. And then I have to be strategic just about my questions so they don't come across as being parental in a mean, aggressive manner. You know what I mean? I'm not trying to put her in her place. I'm just trying to have, let's have a discussion about it so I can then intelligently tell you the good, bad, and the ugly. And I have to remember I was a kid. And I think the biggest thing that people do, they forget that they were a kid and then they all of a sudden decide to start punishing everything their kids do because they'll be, I know what you do. I I hear so many people say this all the time, you know, well, I'm one step ahead of them because I know what I did when I was a kid and they're not gonna do what I did. Okay, well, it's I mean, I get it, but you then should be more understanding to say, let's talk about it, because I was a dumb kid who did dumb things, and it didn't really always pan out for me in these situations. So we can talk about that. But I don't, but I think that it's incredibly important that they even say when it comes to kids that they need a um smaller space of what they're responsible for. Does that make sense? Like, um, they can't control everything as much as we give them the ability to control, I guess you should say. And so ultimately you have kids have too much going on and they can't, they they don't have a brain power to do the things that we do. We have to help them with that. And then if you do it right and you're you're kids like structure. So like I understand, like when you get divorced, you think, God, I want them to like my house better than they like their house, but that can't really be your focus. And it's not about that you're punishing them all the time. I mean, being a parent doesn't mean I'm grounding my kids every other week. Right. It means that I'm having discussions.
SPEAKER_02No, I'm saying that I'm I'm the complete opposite that I don't ground them or don't punish them.
SPEAKER_00But I'd say I should because you also think that if people punish them, the punishment is like turns. It pushes them away. And that's not true. It's really not true. I mean, reality it is, they need Are you sure? Because I don't know. I I will say this. That if I had a situation where I felt like if I punished for something that's a a good reason to punish somebody, like, hey, this has happened, you know what I mean? These uh you you can't say, okay, I will tell you this. You can't have where, like, let's say I say, I'm taking your phone away. Now when you go to your dad's house, you ain't gonna have a phone. Like it that does make it kind of hard. But that's why you have to be creative and the phone doesn't need to be your go-to thing. Come up with something that they need to do at your home to maybe help or cut the grass or clean, do some laundry, or do something else instead. When you're here, you you don't get to treat everybody the way you're treating them. You don't get to do whatever it is that you did. And then that way it doesn't, you don't have to turn into this whole. I think a lot of people I hear them they'll say, like, well, I'm gonna, well, I took them the phone away. Now they should respect that over there and take the phone away too. And instead that person over there says, I think that's stupid. So you can have your phone all you want. That's what turns it into the whole. Who likes who, you know what I'm saying? Instead of involving them.
SPEAKER_02Well, and on the the other piece of that is when they see their father disrespecting
Divorce Rules And Co Parenting Tension
SPEAKER_02me, then it's normal or natural. And that's what I'm trying to get across to them is that's not cool. That's not how we treat people, not even just me, just just anyone. We've talked about it before.
SPEAKER_03The the back talking, the um, or the the talking back, the not listening, the I mean it just I don't know. It it's so, it's so, so, so hard.
SPEAKER_02But when they, you know when they see disrespect going on, it's hard to kind of bring them back down to earth. You know, we've talked about before, yeah, like there's a way of living at my house and there's a way of living at their dad's house. And I know that that's probably for a lot of a lot of people, right? Most um, I have different rules, I have different boundaries, I have different guidelines. Um whether they have rules or not at their dad's, that's that's what's up for debate. Um I do think he does treat them as as friends and not a 14, soon-to-be 15-year-old and a 10-year-old. Um, I think that they hear too much, they see too much, they know too much. Um, and it kind of takes some winding down after those weekends. And it's just, I wish we could get to a better co-parenting place where the rules stayed the same um here, there, and everywhere. Or, you know, we as a whole as as co-parents don't tolerate disrespect. We don't tolerate back talk. Um, and so I think that there's some work that that I need to do with with my ex to to get there. Um, because right now I think that if I enforce something, he goes against it just because he hates me.
SPEAKER_00And, you know, whatever. But like I think it's kind of hard. I think the problem is there's a lot of people who are in divorce situations and the person that they're divorced from, they don't have a working relationship. That's extremely common. So to I think the the in in theory, I think it would be amazing if the two of you could come to the to and the same grounds with the same ideas and do everything the same, and that that way it would break some tension. But then we probably wouldn't be divorced.
SPEAKER_02We don't like each other that much. And it's the stam ankle of Nora's because normally I stay in the house, he picks him up, he drops, you know, whatever. But now I have to like take her to the car, and then there's brawl, and then it's just like, God bless America. And it reminds me why I'm divorced, and and vice versa. He doesn't like me as much as I don't like him. So it just, but it doesn't do our kids any favors by any means. Um, and that sucks. And so we've got to figure out how to better co-parent, but again, have the same boundaries. Like we don't back talk, we don't stay up until 2 a.m. on a school. Like we have to have some of the the same rules and guidelines, or or we will have assholes, or we will have people that, you know, if mom says no, we go to dad and then dad buys it anyway, or or vice versa. And hey, I'm I'm not an angel. I'm sure that there are things that I've done, said, or allowed them to do out of spite, um, knowing that their dad's not gonna love it. And, you know, I I need to do a better job because I'm shaping the adults that they're going to become. And if they know that they can whine and fight and just go somewhere else and get their way. You know what I mean? Like I definitely have to do a better job and and have better boundaries and and parent them more than trying to be their friend. I just think since the divorce, I've definitely leaned more heavily on wanting them to want to be with me more, want them to be at my house more, want, you know, to have the better vacations and all of these things. And at the end of the day, none of that's gonna matter if they're assholes as adults.
SPEAKER_00And so I I have to do a better job. I think the problem is a lot of people get a divorce and then get into a competition. It's not a competition. You have to like let all that go. Like they I I think a lot of people do this. It's like, well, I want to make sure my vacation seems more fun, more exciting. I want them to be like, they liked it at my house better because I put on a better show for the holidays. I gave them better presents than the other person gave them. I did something that's cooler than everybody else does. And I think really it's more about like seeing, talking to the kids about just planning things together and what they like so that when they're there, you know that they enjoy it. I I heard this one guy talking, I can't say I don't remember who it was, but and I don't agree with everything he was talking about. But one thing he did talk about was even having your kids plan the vacation and that sometimes when the kids plan it, they need to come up with like where you're gonna go, flights and everything. And he was talking about how you'd be shocked that when you have your kids do this, that they'll save you like a thousand dollars. They're like, it's just amazing. And they're like, he's like, but then they're more excited about the going on that trip because they kind of helped plan it. And I think that what it is is more or less that I don't know about that.
SPEAKER_02But I feel like we'd be in some foreign country and but you have but you have to look at it this way.
SPEAKER_00You have to make your kids a part of what you're doing. And it I think that that's all that matters. If the kids feel like they're a part of something at your house, then they're always gonna feel a part of something at your house, rather than did you like it here better than that place? And that's what people get caught up into, and then you think, oh my God, well, then now you got mad at me because I got mad at you for this, and now you're at your dad's house, and now you're having fun, now you're this and that and this, so I better not do anything. And that's not true. Your house is your house and should be the same at all times, regardless of anything they do at the other person's house. Even because I think you should always be able to explain. Like if I got mad at the kids and I told them they're gonna go to their rooms or whatever the deal was, I would later go and talk to them about it. You know, here's the deal. I'm not mad, I'm not angry. It's not like I'm sitting around and hold on to what my kids did to kids did to me or anything else. I just let them know, though, that at the same time, you're going to not be allowed to do those things in my home because it shouldn't be tolerated. And this is why. But that doesn't change anything in our relationship. And that once they think they understand it, again, then they leave. It's not, they don't have it in their mind like, well, my mom just was screaming at me and we just got in trouble. It's more about they just left feeling like, okay, it's everything's fine. There's is no problem. We're it's it's good, it's over with. You know what I mean? Right. I think too many people get caught up in that.
SPEAKER_02Boundaries and consistency is key. I think is key. Boundaries, consistency.
SPEAKER_00And no, you know what I mean. Like what they're doing or even dealing with them. I mean, it does stink. I mean, I'm like you. I liked it better when you just keep it to where they drop off at the curb and I'll stay in the house and just makes life a little better, a little easier. Um, the more you can limit any of those interactions, it can be good for certain people. So I understand completely.
SPEAKER_02I know. It just goes hand in hand. If they disrespect me, then they're gonna disrespect, you know, anyone. And I don't, I don't want to raise assholes. I want to raise kind people. And
Uncomfortable Boundaries Build Kindness
SPEAKER_02um we're working on it every single day, you know. This 2026, we've we've said it once, we've said it a hundred times. It's the year to get uncomfortable, and that means getting uncomfortable in in every relationship that I have, that is with my my ex, call him a baby daddy, if you will. Um getting uncomfortable with my kids at times, getting on, you know what I mean? Just setting boundaries, communicating, not just avoiding, avoiding a situation because it's easier. I feel like that happens often where I just let them be the asshole because it's easier than having to hit it head on. Um, you know, we're we're where we're growing this this year, and we're having these uncomfortable conversations and we're doing the uncomfortable things. So we raise kind individuals. And honestly, it's always one day at a time.
SPEAKER_00But as long as we're being doing it the right way and um we're trying things different. Sometimes something doesn't work. We can redo it the next time, you know, make it better and make sure at the end of the day that we maybe choose some things to teach our kids about kindness and maybe get them involved in doing something kind, just like Gary Vee said. You could always do things in a nursing home.
SPEAKER_02Take them to a nursing home. I'm gonna take them to a nursing home. They're gonna volunteer, be better people. Yeah, even like you know, I want them to, I don't want to raise spoiled ass brats. Yeah. Sometimes I think it's cool to like have them. Let's let's level set here though. I say I don't want to raise spoiled ass brats, but then I was late to record the podcast because I was buying my spoiled ass brats some Nitos that I paid four times the price for because they're sold out everywhere. But and she didn't even ask this time, but I was like, um, why is there a line? Like there was just a random line uptown. And I was like, oh my God, they have Nitos in stock. And it was like they opened at nine and it was 8 57. It was like the perfect time, and I paid 10 times as much as I should have. Um, but I got her some some nidos, and I it's like I but split personalities. I don't know that that I want to be responsible and not raise spoiled ass brats, and then I enable the spoiled ass brat. And that is that is tough. That's a tough line.
SPEAKER_00Well, who doesn't want to spoil their kids though? It's always fun. I mean, I love spoiling my kids, but if you don't have boundaries, then it gets out of hand. So as long as you have boundaries, it's not a problem. Spoil the crap out of them. That's the point. Having kids, enjoying them, enjoying life, doing fun things together, laughing, joking, all that good stuff. And once in a while, you gotta crack down on them. It just is what it is. It's called life.
SPEAKER_02And I think I will say, as far as um as Nora goes, and she's watching us live right now, so shout out to Nora. Um, you know, we had the conversation about respecting everyone. Um, and she came back and and issued some apologies a little while later to to me, to Brad. And um, I think that she sat there and thought about the way she was hateful um and came back and apologized. And that made me super duper proud. I am so, so proud of her and Wyatt and a lot of things they do. There are just some things that are very questionable.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just keep working on it. And we're gonna work on that. And really, it is truly how bonded you are with your kids and the relationships that you can have. And um, I'm very proud of Nora, too, for doing that. Because that's a big deal. That's a really big deal.
SPEAKER_03It is. It really is.
Video Firsts And Staying Connected
SPEAKER_03All right. Well, all right. That's a wrap for today.
SPEAKER_02Is that a wrap for today? Our very first, our very first podcast on video. So let's see. So we'll see when we edit what this thing happens. Keep that in mind. This is our first video.
SPEAKER_00If you don't like it, don't judge too hard this time. We'll get better.
SPEAKER_02We are gonna get better. We are gonna get better. And we're actually going to go live later on this week. Yes. Um, so stay tuned for stay tuned for that. We'll have lots. Yeah. Yeah. Bear with us. We're trying some new things. We're getting out of our comfort zone. So, like I said, the very first podcast with video. We're gonna go live later this week. Um, we're super excited about it. So keep an eye out on our social medias for all the exciting things to come.
SPEAKER_00For today, uncomfortable. We're gonna be uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_02Uncomfortable. Yes. And that's a wrap. Have a great day.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for spending time with us. Take what you need, leave what you don't, and be gentle with yourself. And if you want to stay connected, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at the ARMC. And remember, you're not broken, you're becoming. We'll see you next time.